There’s a wind howling, but you do not hear it. You are unaware of what is happening beyond your walls. You do not care as much for others as you do for yourself. You are vain, and proud. There is noone as good as you. Yet you feel lacking. You feel something missing in your life. You long for something though you do not know what. You are sure to find it. Perhaps it’s around the next corner. Maybe down the stairs. You follow where it’s leading you. You do not know where that is, but you have no fear. You know you want this more than anything; so you keep following.
You find yourself in a cold room, with nothing in it. You know not why you are there. The feeling is going away. It is becoming fainter. You can no longer feel it. You discover that you don’t know your way back. You don’t know your way forward; you are stuck. You can go nowhere. There is a wall closing in. It comes closer, and closer to you. You want to run, but you know not which way to go. You wish you hadn’t listened to yourself; hadn’t been so positive this was what you should do. You know you were wrong, but your pride will not let you ask forgiveness; it will not let you repent.; you are trapped. There is nothing left to do. It is too late. You feel yourself slipping away. You feel yourself being drawn somewhere you don’t want to go. You know you can stop it, you know if you try hard enough you can stop it. But your pride and curiosity will not let you. They insist that you let It take you where It will. That you not resist, that you not hold back, but give yourself wholly to him.
You suddenly cannot take it any longer. You know you must stop It or you will be lost forever with no hope. You find yourself being pulled away. You find yourself begging for forgiveness. You find yourself regretting that you ever listened to yourself. Was it yourself, or was it that ‘thing’? That ‘thing’ drawing you ever closer to it, and further away from what you know is right, is true, is undying.
You are now going back from where you came. You are repenting, you are realizing all you did was wrong.
Once again you feel that urge to follow that feeling. But this time you conquer it. You are staying close to what is right. You will not be drawn away. That feeling has brought you closer to who you should have been close to all the time. You will not let that feeling overpower you again. You will stay strong, you will do what is right, what is true.
You are no longer thinking about what you want. You are now thinking what does HE want? What should I be doing for Him? It is no longer what does the feeling want, it is what does HE want? You will follow Him, growing closer to Him, staying close to Him. Knowing he is always with you, you feel redeemed. You now know it wasn’t you who brought yourself out, but Him. HE is always with you, and always will be. You are now His child.