Thoughts concerning my frequent desire to live in another time. . .

An Essay By Aisling // 1/24/2004

It is ever so much harder to appreciate beauty, truth, wisdom, simplicity, etc., when you are surrounded by new cars, huge houses, the latest styles, a million things of convenience, violent and literally disgusting movies, obnoxious and wretched music, and all manner of offensive advertisement. It’s harder to live the kind of life I want to live in the time in which I am called to live it- and yet, the harder the battle the greater the victory, the heavier the cross the more valuable the climb, the longer the search the greater the discovery, the more challenging the favor the better the acceptance.

It is ages easier to enter into an awe and love of God when you wander over a beach filled with beautiful pools, grand rocks, immaculate sand, and clear waters- it’s harder to find Him in the plain old beach at Catawba, with lots of people and lots of noise and rather dirty water- over and over again without break, or change, or difference. Sometimes there’s a dead fish or two, and congregations of seagulls, but is that wonder or beauty? I think maybe that whenever I feel dissatisfied or upset or full of yearning for the past, I will think of this. Not that I ever really tell God He made a mistake, or that I’m upset that He put me here, but there are times when I sigh over the misfortune of my being born in 1988 and not a century- or more- before then. Just the other night Siobhan was telling us we all had to try to keep hard and faithfully at our studies, because it’s hard for Mom to really help us very much right now. I remarked, “this would all be a lot easier in a dress”. I think that’s always the truth. We think life itself would be a lot easier, a lot better, a lot more enjoyable if we could live it in a different time. Maybe it would be, but maybe we’re not here to have it easy, to have the best, and to enjoy it. We’re here to give God glory, and if we can do that as well in the here and now as we could if we were born in the old days, then I’m happy. Maybe we can give God greater glory in the here and now than we could back then, for the very fact that we struggle more, have it harder, have it worse- or so we think at times; maybe we can give Him the greatest glory right where He has us, and maybe- no, that is certainly better than giving Him less and getting more...

Finally, maybe He always puts people where they will be able to give Him the greatest glory. Maybe that’s why we’re here, because it pleases Him best. Maybe that sounds selfish of Him, but it isn’t really when you consider that the truest, highest, purest, greatest form of happiness can be found only in giving God glory. So that should make us blest! Besides, I don’t mind that He wants my all- without exception, without reserve. I want to be His, I want Him to be my all, I want to give without exception, without reserve, without end. Not maybe, not perhaps; yes, whole-heartedly. Amen.

Comments

I thought I was the only one.

I completely and utterly understand the desire to live in the past- in the older, better days.

 

It's amazing how much the world has changed. Scary really.

At the age I am no one understands my strange want to be in the 1800's. I don't understand it myself. But it's something I would love more than almost anything, to go back to 1890 or 1910 for a week. To see what it was like..

 

God puts us all here for a reason. It's our choice whether we fulfill that reason or not.

And I'm sure he put this desire in my life, as well as yours, for a reason. Thank you for posting this..

Anonymous | Tue, 06/29/2010