Letters to Goodbyes I

An Essay By Anna // 10/31/2012

[to the p a s t]

Two years ago tomorrow she and I talked—that best friend of mine—and I still wonder if I heard you. And if I had, would I have understand what you (what she) really meant? She left me lonely for a Halloween outing, but I couldn’t help calling her to try to make plans. She said we could do this or that. Maybe she hesitated a little, but if she did I thought it was because she didn’t really want to do any of that, not because she knew she was lying. One day and we went from doing everything together to—well, she left. Two years ago tomorrow. Maybe, maybe she said you before we hung up. I wish I could remember. Instead, my imagination mangles it, and I have to sit here and write instead of say.

I’m grateful to have seen her since, but even when she’s there she’s gone. There’s no you to make it official, but I know it’s true because I still miss her. I don’t necessarily miss the silly things we did, but I miss that we could do them.

And you, Goodbye? You’re still standing in every door, keeping me from letting the elephant out of the room. This isn’t anger or grudge speaking, just need and longing. I wish she’d named you two years and a day ago and I’d known what you… what she… meant. I don’t like you, but I love her. When she left, you should have been there.

[goodbye, anna]

Comments

:)

I don't know if I'm right or not, but what I'm reading into this makes me think it's about a mutual friend of ours. Whether or not it is her, I don't know, but it works - and makes me sad - though more of distraught, because of circumstances - all over again.

Kyleigh | Thu, 11/01/2012

Wow. This is so powerful. I

Wow. This is so powerful. I love how it's written to the goodbye--that's something so creative. And this is sad, too. You put so many emotions into it.

Edit: Read my comment back and, yeah, sorry for using "so" three times. :P

Madeline | Thu, 11/01/2012

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

I've been trying to write a

I've been trying to write a goodbye(simply for myself) for a really long time now...and I think I just might be able to do it now. Thank you.

Emilee | Sat, 11/03/2012

A poem begins as a lump in the thoat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness -Robert Frost
Emilee @ http://fantasticalpaperrealm.blogspot.com/

So, so sad.

This really hit me...I think we all know what that feels like. And I didn't know who the 'you' was until the end, which I found really cool. :D Well done!

Sarah Bethany | Sat, 11/03/2012

So sad, Anna. I don't know

So sad, Anna. I don't know what else to say.

Lucy Anne | Mon, 11/05/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you, so much. I mean, I

Thank you, so much. I mean, I know it's sad, but I hope it helped you too in some way. I'm about to put up the next one... the tone will be quite different. Bleeding from a different vein, you might say.

Anna | Sat, 11/10/2012

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

This really moved me. It does

This really moved me. It does have a very poetic feel to it. I really could relate to it too, which made it seem even more beautifully sad. The concept of letters to goodbyes is also brilliant!

Elizabeth Anne | Mon, 11/12/2012

See him with his books:
Tree beside the brooks,
Drinking at the root
Till the branch bear fruit.
See him with his pen:
Written line, and then,
Better thought preferred,
Deep from in the Word.
~John Piper

Thanks, Elizabeth. :) I saw

Thanks, Elizabeth. :) I saw it prompted your own poetic goodbye - I hope I get to read it soon.

Anna | Mon, 11/19/2012

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

Yes it did. Thanks for the

Yes it did. Thanks for the inspiration! :)

Elizabeth Anne | Sat, 11/24/2012

See him with his books:
Tree beside the brooks,
Drinking at the root
Till the branch bear fruit.
See him with his pen:
Written line, and then,
Better thought preferred,
Deep from in the Word.
~John Piper

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