the END is near...

An Essay By Ben // 5/8/2001

Hello all,

I can't believe it. Time flew like a sparrow over my head and I didn't notice it. Now the END is near.

It's kind of like watching one of those movies where you're both eager for it to end so you can go to the bathroom, but also really caught up in the story. You don't really want it to end because you're living a different life through the characters. Their lives end before your eyes, and then you have to go on living your own life (and find the bathroom).

The end of the school year is a little like this for me. I'm living a life full of studying, full of people, full of new ideas. Everything is done for me here, too. I don't have to wash the dishes or clean my room (well, actually, I have cleaned my room once this semester). My days overflow with papers I'm writing. I'm reading great literature, joining in serious discussions, taking time off for idle conversation, and praying more than ever before. I guess that's why it has all gone so fast. There isn't a moment when I'm not busy!

It's a good life, but a strange life. I miss home. I miss my mom cooking dinner and talking to me while she stirs the pasta. I miss my dad coming home from work to tell us about his day during dinner. I miss my sisters jumping around me (well, I guess the oldest one doesn't do that anymore - but I miss beating her at Risk). I miss playing catch and talking about baseball with my brother. I miss walking under the stars late, late at night with our dog. I'm glad I'm going home.

This year has been a journey - many journeys. I've followed so many paths through the books I've read and in my own life that they all flow into each other like a wet watercolor painting. It's scary how much has happened this year, really. All I can hope is that I've come closer to being a full human being here at the University of Dallas!

Here's a short poem I wrote that kind of ends my thoughts well:

I say my "hello" and go out through the door.
No more,
No less,
I stress my gentlemanly greeting
And promptly end the meeting.

see you this summer!

-Ben

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