From the Ruler of Pipsqueak Land, Queen Pipsqueak Gill-Pip
And from the government of Pipdom and Squeakdom
To those who are opposing dragons, claiming that they are evil, and to the dragons, who argue against that: I, Pipsqueak ruler of Pipsqueak Land, come to end your arguments! Living in Pipdom, I have met numerous dragons, mostly the Pipsqueak kind, but still dragons. They are all very friendly, nice, and helpful. Just as man (and pipsqueaks), dragons have an evil nature. So stop claiming that these poor dragons are far worse than man. Dragons are very cute, cuddly, fluffy, sweet, and comical.
Also, with these arguments, you have been causing unrest in Pipdom and Squeakdom. People have been protesting in the streets, some holding up signs for dragons, and some not for dragons, claiming that they are far, far worse than man and pipsqueaks. Whenever a dragon-squeak walks through any of the towns in Pipdom and Squeakdom, tomatoes start flying. Along with the tomatoes, stale jumbo marshmallow bunnies are getting thrown as well. (You probably do not know that marshmallows are our main crop in Pipdom and Squeakdom).
We (Pipsqueak Gill-Pip and the government), would like this all to stop. We have tried to stop the dragon haters in our land. Unfortunately, they say that they will not stop throwing tomatoes until dragons-squeaks are banished. What is Pipsqueak Land coming to? This must stop. If you stop your arguments, perhaps our citizens will stop fighting. You don't know how insulting and humiliating it is in Pipsqueak Land to get a stale jumbo marshmallow bunny thrown at you.
Besides the unrest in Pipsqueak Land, our council has been very confused as to your letters. Pipsqueaks cannot comprehend four-page letters containing unpronounceable names and confusing ideas. Pipsqueaks have become discombobulated with all these arguments.
We are very hopeful that you will end these arguments, so that Pipsqueak Land can be back to normal again. Dragon-Squeaks beg you to stop this, so that they can go through a town without getting pelted with tomatoes and stale jumbo marshmallow bunnies.
Please consider this letter, and all the chaos you have caused in Pipsqueak Land. It has been very damaging to dragons-squeaks, so we hope that you will end this argument right away.
As a Queen defending all of her people, please, stop these arguments once and for all.
Queen Pipsqueak Gill-Pip, Ruler of Pipsqueak Land
Pip-doodle-da, Governor of Pipdom
Squeak-ee-doodle, Governor of Squeakdom