Pipsqueak Land

An Essay By Clarice // 12/1/2012

From the Ruler of Pipsqueak Land, Queen Pipsqueak Gill-Pip

And from the government of Pipdom and Squeakdom

To those who are opposing dragons, claiming that they are evil, and to the dragons, who argue against that: I, Pipsqueak ruler of Pipsqueak Land, come to end your arguments! Living in Pipdom, I have met numerous dragons, mostly the Pipsqueak kind, but still dragons. They are all very friendly, nice, and helpful. Just as man (and pipsqueaks), dragons have an evil nature. So stop claiming that these poor dragons are far worse than man. Dragons are very cute, cuddly, fluffy, sweet, and comical.

Also, with these arguments, you have been causing unrest in Pipdom and Squeakdom. People have been protesting in the streets, some holding up signs for dragons, and some not for dragons, claiming that they are far, far worse than man and pipsqueaks. Whenever a dragon-squeak walks through any of the towns in Pipdom and Squeakdom, tomatoes start flying. Along with the tomatoes, stale jumbo marshmallow bunnies are getting thrown as well. (You probably do not know that marshmallows are our main crop in Pipdom and Squeakdom).

We (Pipsqueak Gill-Pip and the government), would like this all to stop. We have tried to stop the dragon haters in our land. Unfortunately, they say that they will not stop throwing tomatoes until dragons-squeaks are banished. What is Pipsqueak Land coming to? This must stop. If you stop your arguments, perhaps our citizens will stop fighting. You don't know how insulting and humiliating it is in Pipsqueak Land to get a stale jumbo marshmallow bunny thrown at you.

Besides the unrest in Pipsqueak Land, our council has been very confused as to your letters. Pipsqueaks cannot comprehend four-page letters containing unpronounceable names and confusing ideas. Pipsqueaks have become discombobulated with all these arguments.

We are very hopeful that you will end these arguments, so that Pipsqueak Land can be back to normal again. Dragon-Squeaks beg you to stop this, so that they can go through a town without getting pelted with tomatoes and stale jumbo marshmallow bunnies.

Please consider this letter, and all the chaos you have caused in Pipsqueak Land. It has been very damaging to dragons-squeaks, so we hope that you will end this argument right away.

As a Queen defending all of her people, please, stop these arguments once and for all.

Sincerely,

Queen Pipsqueak Gill-Pip, Ruler of Pipsqueak Land

Pip-doodle-da, Governor of Pipdom

Squeak-ee-doodle, Governor of Squeakdom

Comments

Welcome to ApricotPie!

"Besides the unrest in Pipsqueak Land, our council has been very confused as to your letters. Pipsqueaks cannot comprehend four-page letters containing unpronounceable names and confusing ideas. Pipsqueaks have become discombobulated with all these arguments."

"If you stop your arguments, perhaps our citizens will stop fighting. You don't know how insulting and humiliating it is in Pipsqueak Land to get a stale jumbo marshmallow bunny thrown at you."

Oh my -- thisissofunny!!

I tried to keep in my laughter at first until it was too much. This was just too hilarious! Especially the "Pipsqueaks cannot comprehend four-page letters containing unpronounceable names and confusing ideas." part.

Great job! Post more! To all three of you, this is quite a fun, hilarious, and interesting debate. Absurd too. :)

Lucy Anne | Sat, 12/01/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Clarice, I was wondering when

Clarice, I was wondering when you would post this. I'm glad you finally decided to post.

Benjamin | Sun, 12/02/2012

“D’ye know what Calvary was? What? What? What? It was damnation; and he took it lovingly.”
~John Duncan

Thank you.

Thank you.

Clarice | Sun, 12/02/2012

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."-- Mark Twain

Welcome to AP! Lol. :) I had

Welcome to AP! Lol. :) I had read the other essays but didn't comment....and this one was hilarious! Pipsqueak is so fun to say...yeah.

Maddi | Sun, 12/02/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh