"Do You Still Love Me?" (Edited)

Fiction By Damaris Ann // 4/17/2016

"Do you love me?"

"Why do you ask?"

He tickled her.

"Stop it. You're silly. Do you?"

"Of course. You know I do."

"I just like to make sure you still do."

"Why would I ever stop?"

She chewed on the inside of her lip before responding.

"What if...I become ugly or sick?"

"I didn't marry you for your good looks, dearest, and I didn't marry you for your health. I married you for your heart and soul."

"What if we can't have children?"

"I didn't marry you for children, either. I married you because you've got God as your King. Good enough?"

"Yes."

Melissa sighed a happy sigh and leaned her head on Mark's shoulder.

"I'm so glad. Sometimes I worry-"

"That's silly. You shouldn't worry. We know Who holds tomorrow."

"This is true. I wish I could remember that as easily as you seem to. Sometimes I feel so, I don't know, bogged down in my spirit."

"You have to trust Him, Mel. You have to trust me, too."

The look of almost sorrowful gravity in Mark's eyes pained her. She burrowed her face in his neck as she whispered to him.

"Dear heart, I do."

He kissed her forehead. All was well.

***Five weeks later***

Happy squeals.

"Mark!! Mark! Ohhhh Mark!"

Mark dashed through the hall.

"Mel! Are you-are we?!"

"YES!! You're gonna be a daddy! Oh, Mark!"

He danced her down the hall.

***Two months later***

"I think blue, Mark."

Laughter.

"I think pink."

"We'll have to get some of each. Oh Mark, just look at this! Isn't it the sweetest? I want one."

Puppy eyes.

"Do we need one? It's a bit pricey."

"Well...no, we don't really. But I do love the way this bassinet looks much better than the little crib we looked at."

Mark kissed her cheek.

"Let's get it."

Smiles.

***Four months later***

"Mark."

Silence.

"Mark!!"

Quiet stirring.

"What is it, Mel?"

"This doesn't feel right."

Mark snapped to attention.

"What? What doesn't feel right?"

Moans.

"This. This pain. This isn't what Braxton Hicks are supposed to feel like. It hurts more....I think I'm bleeding, Mark!"

Mark leapt out of bed and rushed into his clothes.

He pulled the car around and ran back inside for Melissa. By now she was moaning almost constantly, in too much pain to move.

He carried her. He carried her to the car, and in the hospital he never left her side.

***

She blinked at the bright lights.

"Mark?"

Softly.

"Yes, darling?"

"Is, did the..."

Whispers.

"Yes, darling."

Quiet tears slipped through closed and weary eyelids.

"Mark?"

"Yes?"

Quietly.

"Do you still love me?"

"Darling, I will always love you. Trust Him. Trust me."

Quiet, breathless sobs could not be held back. And then,

"Dear heart, I do."

Comments

This is beautiful, Damaris.

This is beautiful, Damaris. Very stirring - I felt all of the emotions: sweetness, warmth. I smiled :) It is simply, elegantly, gorgeously written....your narrative style is maturing so much! I would read an entire book written like that, without a doubt.

Sarah Bethany | Mon, 04/18/2016

Aww thank you so much, Sarah

Aww thank you so much, Sarah Bethany!! Your comment means the world to me. Bless you for that.

Damaris Ann | Mon, 04/18/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

Read this yesterday! I like

Read this yesterday! I like the two scenes you added--it really accentuates their desire for their baby. I still think that it could carry more depth while still being concise, and I hope me saying that isn't super frustrating! I think that building even more upon the two of them would help. A handful of moments, short and sweet and simple would really bring them to life.

As for the dialogue, it is well done here! I love that it's mostly comprised of conversation, which I think I said before. Another suggestion--I would take out the time marks, because I found that it pulled me from the story. If you just allow the conversation to flow without any indication of time passing other than the asterisks and dialogue clues, I think it would flow beautifully!

This is great work, Damaris! Keep it up!

Madeline | Mon, 04/18/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thank you so much, Homey!!

Thank you so much, Homey!! Not at all frustrating; more helpful and encouraging. :) I'm planning on adding yet more at some point. I'll be too busy for the next couple of weeks. Maybe. I'll have a lot of time in the car next week so we'll see. :) thanks again!!

Damaris Ann | Mon, 04/18/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

This is very sweet, Damari :)

This is very sweet, Damari :) I agree with Homey, taking out the time period would help not to interrupt the flow of the reader. Just the asterisks are fine :)

Maddi | Wed, 04/20/2016

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thank you Maddi!! You have no

Thank you Maddi!! You have no idea how much I adore your comments. :)

Damaris Ann | Wed, 04/20/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

Aw, well thank you :)

Aw, well thank you :)

Maddi | Wed, 04/20/2016

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

:)

This is really beautiful. Such a parallel between our Heavenly Father's love for us...only infinitely greater. Great job here! :)

Sarah Liz | Fri, 04/22/2016

"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." ~ Anonymous

Ahhhh thank you for that!

Ahhhh thank you for that!

Damaris Ann | Sat, 04/23/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

Just Read This

I'm pretty sure I teared up at the end. That last section was my absolute favorite thing that I've read from you I think. Well done, Damari, well done.

Brighid | Thu, 04/28/2016

When I worship, I would rather my heart be without words than my words be without heart.

Awwwwwww thank you so

Awwwwwww thank you so much!!!! Wow!!!!! Favorite comment ever. :)

Damaris Ann | Thu, 04/28/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

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