Greater Love project snippet

Fiction By Damaris Ann // 9/18/2016

“Move your laptop.”

“No.”

“Jonathan. Move it right now.”

Jonathan shifted his feet on the armrest.

“No. Leave me alone.”

David muttered under his breath. Jonathan pulled the ball cap off of his face for a brief moment.

“What did you say?”

“Couch hog.”

“Oh. I thought you said something else.”

He resumed his nap.

David shrugged his shoulders and left the room with a laptop under his arm. He noticed that Jonathan looked a bit pale when he returned.

“You okay, Bro?”

Jonathan sighed and tossed the ball cap across the room.

“Just can't shake off this dizziness.”

David's face softened.

“Did you eat any breakfast?”

“No. I felt too sick to stand up this morning.”

“Bro, you have to eat. I'll go make you some eggs and toast.”

***

“Thanks Dude. You're literally the best friend ever.”

“Shucks.”

“I mean it.”

David wadded up a napkin and tossed it at Jonathan's face.

“Eat up. Laura will be home in five.”

Comments

Okay, so I did like this. It

Okay, so I did like this. It said alot of things about the characters through just dialogue. It was realistic, and not boring dialogue. You've grown in your writing.
By the way, you are beautiful in that profile picture.

Lucy Anne | Mon, 09/26/2016

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oh my, thank you so much!

Oh my, thank you so much! That is so encouraging.

Damaris Ann | Mon, 09/26/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

I love this! Your dialogue

I love this! Your dialogue has gotten so good--it flows seamlessly, has its own rhythms. I'm really enjoying your writing, and I can see that you're continuing to fine tune your art. Great work! I'll look forward to reading the finished product! :)

Madeline | Mon, 10/03/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thank you! I really

Thank you! I really appreciate it. I'm trying to make myself write more...I've been doing pretty good. I'm slowly working on this, plus working on a new story. I've made it to novelette with my word count so far...we'll see if I reach my goal of 100,000 words...lol. My mom laughs at me when I get excited about how many words I've written in a day. Haha is that relatable??
Thanks again for your lovely comment!

Damaris Ann | Mon, 10/03/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

MORE than relatable! Can't

MORE than relatable! Can't tell you how many times I've slipped, "oh yeah, and I made it to [x amount] of words" as casually as possible to my mom!

Madeline | Mon, 10/03/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Lol but it sure is the best

Lol but it sure is the best feeling in the world! XD our moms are awesome for putting up with our nerdishness (new word!). :)

Damaris Ann | Mon, 10/03/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

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