I’ll Fight

A Poem By Damaris Ann // 12/17/2018

I feel like I’m missing out
On a lot of things
I missed church
One week
I missed two fun outings
I didn’t get to see my
Friend
So I planned this day ahead
One friend can’t make it
The other two may
Be busy as
Well

So I wonder
Am I going to keep missing out
On life?
My social life is slowly
Deteriorating
Before my eyes
My health forces me to
Cancel
Postpone
Or show up and
Sit miserably
In the
Corner
Wishing away a
Migraine

Sometimes my friends call me
They ask if I’m
Okay
But okay
Is a strong
Word
And more often than not
They forget to call
Or ask
And so I’ve become
Incredibly
Lonely
My bed is my best friend
Netflix is my friendliest
Companion
I’ve taken to
Crying
More often
And praying
For strength to get up and
Simply function
I’ve given up on asking for
Healing
For
Feeling good
That seems too unrealistic
So I put on my
Best fake
Smile
And reach out to those who
I wish
Would reach out
To
Me

But even though I’m
Complaining
In poetry form
I still have friends
Who call
I still have friends
Who text
I still have friends who ask me
How I’m
Holding up
So don’t think I really
Am alone
I just miss
Seeing faces
While I respond to words
I miss
Walking around
I miss
Just standing still
And not feeling like
Collapsing
I miss
Feeling
Human

So maybe this poem
Is my long-
Winded way
Of saying that life
Is hard
And always will be
But God is good
Friends are faithful
And though I’m weak
I know
That I
Will make
It
Through
This season
Rough days
Will make me
Tougher
Crying nights
Will make me
More understanding
My eyes are opened
To the
Pain
Around me
And because of God’s
Grace being poured out
On me
Even though it’s shaped
Like
Pain
Right now
I can have more grace for the people
He placed around
Me
And so I’ll fight
For joy
I’ll fight
For faith
I’ll fight
For hope
And I’ll fight
For grace
Because He hasn’t given up on me
I won’t give up
On me
Either

Comments

I can soooo relate!!! I feel

I can soooo relate!!! I feel a lot like that almost daily! Thanks for sharing! Just knowing you're not the only one feeling like that can make all the difference! This was very encouraging!

My favorite verse was the very end:

"Because He hasn’t given up on me
I won’t give up
On me
Either"

Thanks Damaris!

Joy J. | Tue, 12/18/2018

C.H. Spurgeon - "God’s mercy is so great that you may sooner drain the sea of its water, or deprive the sun of its light, or make space too narrow, than diminish the great mercy of God. "

I’m so glad that you are

I’m so glad that you are encouraged!! But also sad that you can relate. :( this isn’t something that I would want people to relate to. Please feel free to email me any time, dear. I’d love to encourage you and be encouraged by you.

Damaris Ann | Tue, 12/18/2018

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Aww thank you Damaris! God is

Aww thank you Damaris! God is faithful and good! I would appreciate your prayers!

I'll be praying for you!

And Merry Christmas!

Joy J. | Tue, 12/18/2018

C.H. Spurgeon - "God’s mercy is so great that you may sooner drain the sea of its water, or deprive the sun of its light, or make space too narrow, than diminish the great mercy of God. "

<33

Oh man, Damaris, reading this is just super eye-opening. I hate it that there is pain, and hurt, and all the bad things, but since there is, I would be better suited to meeting someone’s needs instead of sheltering my life from the pain.

Whew. My life seems to be broadcasting this theme as of late.

I’ll be praying for you. <33 I think you are super awesome, and if you ever need to vent, I’m here!! We can build each other up. Iron sharpens iron.

And, always remember, joy will come with the morning. <333 This will CERTAINLY not last forever, and whatever happens, our Father is good and all that happens now will serve to do great and amazing things in the future. Pain is not a lifestyle—it is a tool. (: And you are being sharpened for wonderful, beautiful, life-giving things that we couldn’t possibly imagine.

Heather Jones | Tue, 12/18/2018

“planting seeds inevitably changes my feelings about rain.” —luci shaw.
psalm 84:10 esv.

Aww, girls. You’re so sweet,

Aww, girls. You’re so sweet, seriously. Thank you for your encouragement and kind thoughts!!
Thankfully I’ve been feeling a little better since posting this poem. :) God is good, and I’m a little more hopeful for the future.

Damaris Ann | Wed, 12/19/2018

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Damaris, I read this

Damaris, I read this yesterday and meant to comment, but life got in the way. Now, I just want to let you know that 1) I'm praying for you, and 2) This is such a beautiful poem. So relatable - I know it's sad that many relate, but I think we all have those times - and so full of truth and grace. 3) is that right as I was reading this, I was just reminded so vividly of what it's like to hurt like there's no one there. And your honesty, your struggle, your pain, and your hope were all real.

Libby | Wed, 12/19/2018

“The gospel alone is the power of God unto salvation.
Therefore, suffer, yes. Be misunderstood, yes. Be shamed, yes. But do not be ashamed. For the joy set before you, take up your cross, follow Jesus, be shamed and despise the shame!" -- John Piper

Thank you, Libby. Your

Thank you, Libby. Your thoughts mean so much to me. <3

Damaris Ann | Wed, 12/19/2018

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Oh, Damaris! Even now you

Oh, Damaris! Even now you write beautiful poetry. I can relate to this as well; I've been going through a similar season and it stinks, doesn't it? I'll be praying for you! You've got God and an army on your side, darling! Love you!

Madalyn Clare | Wed, 12/19/2018

Introverts unite!
Separately!
From the comfort of your own homes!

<3

I love you, Maddie!! I’m thankful for you. I’ll be praying for you, too, while you battle this season of sickness.

Damaris Ann | Wed, 12/19/2018

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.