It's a cold, unforgiving world.

A Poem By Dan // 10/17/2012

It's a cold, unforgiving world.
Don't doubt it, it's true,
'Cuz as soon as you take off the covers,
Your fingers will turn numb, your toes, blue.

It's a cold unforgiving world.
You can't even go to the loo,
Whenever you stand up you feel it,
The cold is getting to you.

It's a cold unforgiving world.
Out of the covers, the temperature feels negative two,
You can't take it, but you can fake it,
I know you feel it too.

It's a cold, unforgiving world.

Comments

Nice message woven into the

Nice message woven into the poem. The rhythm and rhyming are perfect. :)

one thing: When one verse says: "You can't even go to the loo," I think you should cut out the "to" bit. It's not good grammar, but I think it just will help the rhythm. :D Job well done.

Maddi | Fri, 10/19/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

:)

It seems as if your poems have a tendency to display a great and true message. That's really great.

I really feel this sometimes, and you put it to words well. I especially like first and last stanzas because it's true! :) Good job!

Lucy Anne | Fri, 10/19/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nice!

Nice poem Danny! So true!

Susannah | Fri, 10/19/2012

"Even if the sun crashes into earth, I won't let go, I won't let go. I can be your light, stay with me tonight, I won't let go, I won't let go."

Absolutely wonderful, and

Absolutely wonderful, and quite true!

Flying Past Clouds | Sun, 10/21/2012

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