Mcmenner

Fiction By Dan // 11/9/2012

Hey guys! This was an experimental 15 minute assignment where we had to write a fictional story in (duh) fifteen minutes. No pre-write, nothing went into this story, so it really isn't the best quality. Just thought I'd post it. Enjoy! :D
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Abel Mcmenner was running. Running for his life. His attackers were chasing him, and he didn’t know why. He quickly slipped into a dark ally and kept running. The men in dark cloaks and ski masks were undeterred. They filed, one by one, all three of them, into the ally and kept chasing him. Suddenly, Abel tripped over a piece of the cobblestone that was jutting out. He saw the sky, then the ground, then the sky again and landed on his back. The pain was nearly unbearable to him, and his attackers quickly gained on him. They put a piece of cloth over his mouth, Abel smelled chloroform, and then all went black.
When Abel woke up, he was in a small room with all sorts of electronic equipment. The room was dark save for a tiny light bulb hanging from the low ceiling in the center. Looking down, he saw an older man of about 60 tinkering with the electronics. The three men were standing directly in front of him, blocking what Abel assumed was his exit. Then he noticed that he was tied down firmly, firmly to what seemed to be a metal bed of some sort.
“Ah yes, Abel Mcmenner, is it?” said the old man, with some sort of a German accent. The old man still hadn’t turned to look at Abel; he was still pressing buttons here and there.
“Where am I? What do you want with me?” replied Abel in an anxious tone.
“Vat? You are not enjoying my hospitality?” the old man sarcastically retorted. “You know vhy you are here. You know who I am. I know you know!” he screamed the last bit maniacally.
“You must have the wrong person. I don’t even know why you were chasing me in the first place! I was just watering my garden, minding my own business, when all of a sudden; your three oafs burst in, destroy my carrots and start chasing me!” Abel said this while he played with his bindings. He slipped a finger through the knot, and then it untangled itself. But he remained with the ropes around him, for he needed an escape plan. While he thought about how he could escape, the old man kept ranting.
“No, I am positively certain that you are the one I am looking for.” He inched closer to Abel. “Yes, you are the perfect specimen for my experiment.”
Abel pulled backwards. “Experiment?”
“Yes! You will be subject to the greatest advancement in the field of science! Have you not noticed that the people of the vorld are too free? Do you not think that we need a stronger leader to rule over us? That is why I have chosen you. You have amazing skill Abel, and I am going to multiply and clone you to create my very own army! I will rule over the world, and bring peace to all nations! Do you not agree with me?”
Abel nodded. “Yes I agree… I agree that you are off your rocker!” With this remark, Abel pulled of the ropes holding him, jumped behind the bed, and flipped it into the stomach of the old man. He then pushed the bed, along with the old man, across the room and into the far wall. He did this quickly so as to get there before the three men in cloaks could catch him. They started running across the room toward him, but Abel needed to get his message across to the old man.
“I am the guy you are looking for, but then again, probably not since you had no chance of using me.” He then elbowed the old man in the nose, heard a satisfying crack and jumped backwards into a roll. He stood up right where the three men were. The first one he kneed in the stomach, then roundhouse kicked him in the head to knock him out. The second one tried to grab him, but stumbled over one of the many wires on the floor, and Abel, using the second big man’s momentum, flipped over him and jumped off his back to flatten the man onto the ground. Then, the third one pulled out a gun and pointed it at Abel’s head. Abel was unable to move.
“I got yous now punk!” The third man said gruffly.
“Now who’s the punk,” rebutted Abel, “the one that trapped the citizen in a dark room, tied him up, and tried to subject him to a cloning experiment to take over the world? Or is it the trapped citizen who is defending himself?” He very rapidly grabbed the gun with his right hand, twisted so hard that the big man was falling over, then Abel grabbed the big man by the neck and poked hard into the nerve. The big man slumped to the floor. He then surveyed the room. The old man was most definitely dead, he could see that. The three men weren’t dead, but they were disabled indefinitely. He turned around, smoothly opened the door, and stepped outside. He saw the people walking around, oblivious to what had just happened.
“Saved the world again… But no one will ever notice.” He remarked sadistically.
Life now continued.

Comments

Well, looks like superman

Well, looks like superman came to town!! It was action packed, and the way you wrote it made me want to read on. That's one of the best tools you can have in writing :) And I love the last bit: "Saved the world again...but no one will ever notice." Brilliant. And you did this in 15 mins? Congrats.

Maddi | Wed, 11/14/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

:)

This is great.

Kyleigh | Thu, 11/15/2012

How in the world did you write this in 15 minutes?

   I love it. It was very good. One thing, when a name has Mc of Mac in front of it, you still capitalize the letter after the Mc/Mac. Meaning it would be McMenner.

Arthur | Sun, 11/18/2012

"My greatest wish for my writing is that it would point you to the Savior."