Random Story

Fiction By Elizabeth Anne // 5/28/2012

SO, TODAY MY DAD WAS GOING THROUGH SOME FILES ON OUR OLD COMPUTER, AND HE FOUND A DOCUMENT OF MINE. IT WAS A STORY I WROTE A FEW YEARS BACK (OR RATHER, STARTED TO WRITE). I DON'T REMEBER MUCH ABOUT IT, AND IT WASN'T UNTIL I READ IT THROUGH THAT I REMEMBERED IT AT ALL. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO WITH IT, BUT I THINK I COULD COME UP WITH A PLOT TO WORK WITH IT. SO... I'M GOING TO POST THE TWO CHAPTERS THAT I HAVE ONE HERE. PLEASE READ THEM OVER, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU THINK I SHOULD START WRITING IT AGAIN. ALSO, IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN NEXT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. :) ************************************************************* Once, before anyone came to the land they now call America, there was a great kingdom there. It was strong, ruled by a great king. He was powerful, yet merciful, and he always dealt justly with his people. In this great kingdom there were two cities, Great cities which none others could equal. In the one city, the most magnificent of all, the king dwelled in all his glory. The other city was ruled by the king, yet it was placed in the care of the king’s second in command whom he loved like a son. Both cities were the center of all activity in the kingdom and everyone went there at least once a year for the great celebration of the beginning. The kingdom was prosperous and, under the king’s rule, there was peace. Yet the peace was not to last for there was evil brewing in the heart of a man with much trust, and honor, second only to the king. He had great treasures, but was hungry for more as his treasury was worth a penny to the king’s treasury. To him was much honor, but always the people turned to the king for help. The people loved and respected him, but they still went to the king’s city for the celebration of the beginning. More than that, he wanted to have what he could never have while he was second, he wanted to be king. So it was that Sipheon, second in command of the kingdom, fell and was exiled. He fled to a land of desolate waste, of barren ground and fruitless plants. There, with those who were banished with him, he formed a new kingdom, which he called Sipheosy, and his name was changed from “great one” to “fallen one”. So began the fight between good and evil, the King and Sipheus. But the cities, and anyone who was in them, disappeared.


I really like that the first

I really like that the first sentence drew me in and kept me in.

Maybe the third paragraph's first sentence could be re-written, though. It's a bit confusing.

Lucy Anne | Wed, 05/30/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson


User login

Please read this before creating a new account.