Narnia Parody Part 3 and 4
They all stare at the paper and Peter looks at Lucy
Pete-How long have you known about this?
Lucy-I knew he kidnapped children. But not that! *She stamped her foot* I would never be friends with someone like That!
Pete- *looks at Susan*
Sue-*Looks at tree and screams* There is a big beaver behind that tree!!
Ed-Let's go play with it.
Pete-Stop being stupid. Let's go see if this rumor is true.
Mr. B.- It's true alright. No doubt about it. But there is more important business to talk about. Come to my house at once and we'll talk and eat.
When they arrive, Mrs. Beaver is cooking.
Mrs.B-Oh my! You should have told me you were bringing company. I don't think there's enough food to go around. If you will go catch some fish, I will cook it, mr. Beaver.
Mr. Beaver catches fish and brings them in. Twenty minutes later, they have all cleaned there plates and are leaning back in there chairs.
Pete-So why do you want to talk to us about economics in a world we have no emotions for?
Mr. B-You'll be glad to help us once you learn that the White Witch has tricked your brother into deserting you and turning you over to her for lawn decorations.
Mrs. B-Maybe you should let us explain. There is a great battle going on between Aslans Epic Sweets 'n' Snacks and White Witches Wonderful Twinkies. She will do anything to be the lead snack company. There is a prophecy that two boys and two girls will come and make Aslans Epic Sweets 'n' Snacks famous. Most people like Aslans Epic Sweets 'n' Snacks, but the White Witch has a whole passle of snack chefs with butcher knives who are willing to fight for her because she threatened to fire them otherwise.
Mr. B-Yeah and she pays better so they don't quit. See, Aslans Epic Sweets 'n' Snacks is run on donations. The earned money goes to his bank account because he is saving up for a boat to go across the sea and see his father who he hasn't seen for forever.
Mrs. B- And when she has Edmund, she'll make him into a chocolate boy and advertise for her snacks with him. You really must help us to make Aslans Epic Sweets 'n' Snacks be the lead snack company.
They all agree to help when they find that Edmund really has left.
At the witches snack company.
Maugrum-Who are you and what do you want? Do you have a ticket to get a tour of the snack factory?
Maug-Have you set an appointment to talk over getting a job?
Maug-Have you filled out an application? or have you placed an order and are here to pick it up?
Ed-I want to see Mrs. Jadis please!
Maug-She is indesposed. She is resting.
Ed-It's important. Please tell her that Edmund is here to deliver her lawn decorations.
Maug-Oh! Why didn't you say so. I was told to look out for you. Right this way.
He led Edmund up several flights of stairs and into a room where Jadis sat in a chair watching several dwarves individually wrap twinkies and put them in boxes.
Ed-Hey Jadis! Your lawn decorations are not far, only my sleigh broke down and my reigndeer died, so I can't deliver them. But they are at the beavers house. I bet they would make good decorations too. Can I have my snacks yet?
Jadis-Right this way.*She leads him into a room and closes the door. Immediately chocolate starts to pour on him and the room gets hot and starts spinning. Then it stops and gets cold and Edmund tries to call for help, but is hopelessly trapped inside a case of chocolate shaped just like him.
Peter, Susan, Lucy, Mr. and Mrs. Beaver are about to leave the house. They pack a lunch and Mr. Beaver grabs his Ipod and earphones. Mrs. Beaver gets her NintendoDX and they leave.
They have been walking for a very long time and they are all tired. They hear bells. DING! DING! DING!
Mr. B-Oh no!! It's the white witch going around with her snack sleigh.
He leaves them hidden and goes to look. He comes running back moments later.
Mr. B- It's alright! Everything is alright! It is Father Snackman selling snacks for Aslans Epic Sweets 'n' Snacks.
They all run forward to meet father snackman.
FS-The prophesied ones! Here, I will give you gifts to help you on your quest.
Pete-Wow! He's nice.
FS-Peter, oldest sibling. Nice, yet bossy and love stupid books like Twilight. I give to you this pad of coupons to give out to those you wish.
Pete-Wow thanks! Can I use one now to buy something.
Father Snackman ignores him.
FS-Susan, oldest girl in the family, right under Peter in age. Sweet, yet you love stupid music. I give to you this box of samples and a bell to ring so that people will know they can get some.
Sue- Wow! Thanks
FS-Lucy, yougest sibling. Your brother recieves nothing for he has deserted you(no pun intended, hehe). You are kind, generous, truthful and cute. I give to you this tiny bottle. Anyone who has been made into a chocolate will be instantly free of it if you put but one drop on them.
FS-These are tools not toys. Use them well and wisely. Do not waste them on yourselves. Good luck and good bye.
They all waved as he drove away and began admiring there gifts. Mr. and Mrs. beaver grumbled because they didn't get anything and then they continued on towards Alsans Epic Sweets 'n' Snacks factory.
Meanwhile, the white witch is in her snack sleigh with the chocolate Edmund sitting next to her. The dwarf was driving the reigndeer and calling out
Dwarf-Chocolate boy! Reasonably priced and great tasting too. Drop a vote if you want White Witches Wonderful Twinkies to be the lead snack company!
Back with the others, Peter, Susan, Lucy, Mr. and Mrs. Beaver were standing on a hill looking at a big factory with blue smoke pouring out.
Mr. B-There it is. Aslans Epic Sweets 'n' Snacks.
Mrs. B-Oh to think that I should live to see this day!
They went down the hill and knocked on the door. As they waited for and answer, Mr. beaver said
Mr. B-Oh I forgot to tell you!! Aslan is a lion. But don't be scared. He could kill you and eat you for dinner but he's not like that, so there's nothing to worry about.
As the door opened, Peter muttered something about mentioning it sooner.
Lucy-Awww sweet!!! It's a hairy horse man!!
Horseman-Excuse me, I am a centaur.
Horseman-I will give you a tour of the factory if you wish. Any donations are welcome, just drop them in this box.
Pete-Actually, we came to see the manager.
Horseman-Right this way. Oh, did I mention that my name is Orios?
Sue-I love orios!
Sue-I meant the cookie kind, but you're nice too.
Orios opened a door and they entered. Inside, a lion lay on a big comfy pillow with earphones on and fauns sitting around adding up all the donations.
Orios-They're doing accounting. *He motioned towards the fauns.*
Aslan took the earphones out and looked at them.
Aslan-Welcome prophesied ones! You're brother is at present a chocolate boy I understand. You will have to wait until these fauns are done and then we will rescue him. *He put the earphones back in and ignored them.*
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