Narnia Parody, pt. 5 & 6

Fiction By Emma Katherine // 5/29/2012

Part 5
The White witch is riding her sleigh with chocolate Edmund beside her, when they come upon a group of happy animals enjoying snacks from Aslans Eipc Snacks 'n' Sweets.
Jad-What is the meaning of this? This waste! This-this not buying of my twinkies!?
Baby squirrel stands up.
BS-Pardon my Jadis, But we were GIVEN them.
Jad-Who gave them to you?
Father squirrel stands up.
FS-F-father snackman, your chocolateness.
Jad-What?? He has not been here! He cannot have been here!!
The baby squirrel wacked his spoon on the table.
BS- He has! He has! he has!
Jadis picks up her wand and turns them into chocolate animals. Edmunds manages too say
But no one hears him.
Back at Aslans Epic Snacks 'n' Sweets.
Aslan-Let's go shopping.
Sue-Huh?? I thought we were going to save Ed!
Aslan-What is Edmund?
Sue-A deserter?
Aslan-In a way. He is a desert.
Sue- Oh!! I get it!! We are going to buy him from Jadis!! You're a genius!
Aslan- Thanks!
They head toward White Witches Wonderful Twinkies. When they arrive, they see several decorative chocolate animals, fauns and people in the entrance. Maugrum steps out.
Maug-Halt!! Do you have a ticket to take a tour of the White Witches Wonderful Twinkies? Have you filled out an application for a job? Have you set an appoin...
Aslan-RAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! We are here to buy a large chocolate, preferably boy shaped.
Maug-Oh right! Follow me.
he leads them through several rooms till they arrive at a door that says 'Boys' He opens it
Maug-Take a look. They all have price tags on them.
They enter the room and look around for several minutes. Maugrum comes back.
Maug-Are you finding everything all right?
Aslan-No. Could you tell us where to find a chocolate Edmund? Preferred brand to be Pevensie.
Maug-Oh, Jadis took that one with her on her snack sleigh.
Aslan-Oh!!! RAAAA!!! Lucy, Susan, climb on, we're going for a piggy back ride.
Sue-But...We're too old for that sort of thing, and anyways, I want my Ipod! *She cries until Aslan offers to let her use his. They climb on and Aslan runs off*
Aslan-Hey did you know we mastered flight in Narnia yet?
Sue-Really? You're not so stone age after all.
Lue-Are you going to fly? I get motion sickness.
Aslan-Aww come on, it'll be fun. And we need to get there quickly. *They agree and Aslan takes off. Soon they see the snack sleigh. Lucy screams*
Lue-She's giving out samples of Edmund!!

Part 6
Aslan lands beside the snack sleigh.
Jad-What do you want you big nosed snack factory worker?
Aslan-Stop talking in such a degrading tone. And I am not a worker, I am the manager.
Jad-What do you want?
Aslan-How much do you want for that boy?
Jad-Oh him? I will be glad to get him off my hands. When I made him, I didn't realize his face was distorted in terror. No one will take him.
Lucy hugs Edmund.
Lue-Just wait Ed. I'll get you outa there.
Ed-I said! Mumphullsnumfpomph!
Lue- I can't understand you.
Ed- Nevermind.
Meanwhile Aslan and the White witch are arguing over the price.
Aslan-$20 and no higher.
Jad-That's not high enough, how about we add the two prices together and then that's how much it is.
Jad-Great, hand over the dough.
Aslan sticks hand in pocket.
Jad-Oh and we're dealing in hundred thousands you know.
Aslan-Uh-duh! huh??
As soon as Edmund is bought, Lucy puts a drop of her bottle on him and he becomes Edmund again.
Jad-What? That's not fair! Oh well, I have enough to last me the rest of my life. But that won't stop me! I will be the lead snack company yet!
Ed-Oww!! I am missing three toes and I there's a hole in my shoe too.
Lue-Poor Ed!
Sue- What'll we do? You'll never be the same!
Aslan-Big deal, it's his fault for running away. Oh and if you want to complain about the gift I bought you, let me remind you that I just paid thirty-five hundred thousand dollars for him.
This quickly silences them. Back at Aslans Epic Snacks 'n' Sweets factory. Jadis Bursts into the managers office where Aslan and the children are playing a feirce multiplayer battle on call of duty.
Jad-Why you theif! I knew I would catch up with you at last!
Aslan-Duh whu?
Jad-You stole my chocolate boy. He is mine by rights!
Aslan-Hey! I paid for him!
Jad-Where's your receipt? Huh? huh? huh?
Aslan-Ummm....I don't have one.


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