the crack in my world

A Poem By Erin // 2/10/2015

it hit me now
like a mac truck
my clothes still smell like you
i'm burying my nose in my sweater
so that maybe i can memorize
your crisp cologne
"i'm not leaving yet," your muffled voice in my shoulder
"i know, i'm just sad," all i could muster
your arms tight around my ribcage
i was grateful that you knew
i needed to hold on for a while
then rush out the door as fast as i can
throw myself into the front seat before
i lose it
the torrential downpour
the not ready to let go
the why is february so short?
your cologne is fading from my sweater
i'm not ready, i haven't remembered it yet.

Comments

Pretty good flow. I'm sorry

Pretty good flow. I'm sorry that you have to go through things like that.
I don't mean this as criticism or anything but I would like to say that after reading you and Kass's poetry about your boyfriends/relationships I understand and appreciate even more the fact that I don't date. So much heartbreak! It's hard to imagine how much "breaking up" hurts, I guess it's sorta the same as a failed courtship, and I hope I never go through one of those.

Damaris Ann | Wed, 02/11/2015

I am an overcomer through Christ alone, for the glory of God alone.

Oh no, no, I'm not dating

Oh no, no, I'm not dating either! Haha. I've never had a boyfriend and don't really plan to anytime soon. It's important to grow into your own person first. Plus, I don't really have the time to commit to a romantic relationship anyhow! This is about a very close friend who is leaving in the coming months and how I am not quite ready for that yet. Thanks for reading! :-)

Erin | Wed, 02/11/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Damaris! Your comment made me

Damaris! Your comment made me laugh unexpectedly. Despite the short pain felt by breaking up with the only one boyfriend I had, and trust me it was short pain, I think the good out weighed the bad. The experience was very beneficial! Honestly, I think I write more of the pain of loving someone who I have not had a close relationship with them like a courtship or "dating"ship. It hurts more yearning for someone from a distance than having them and realizing they aren't right for you. Please, do not put thoughts of dating or courtship out of your future, just guard your heart and learn from your experiences ;) plus, you really can't really measure the amount of pain by reading poetry, at least not mine, because I know I dramatize and over romantisize it (I feel like I have horrible grammar and spelling in tht last sentence!)

Erin, this is lovely and heartbreaking! I feel like I can only guess at the situation, but I feel like I know and it really is heartbreaking! Best of luck to your friend! May guardian angels watch over him/her. The way you wrote this was perfect and really captured the sentiment.

Kassady | Wed, 02/11/2015

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Thank you! I really

Thank you! I really appreciate it (both the compliments and the guardian angels).

Erin | Wed, 02/11/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

This made me sad :( Not many

This made me sad :( Not many poems can make me feel emotions, so thank you!

Sarah Bethany | Thu, 02/12/2015

No, thank you!

No, thank you!

Erin | Thu, 02/12/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

I love that last line. This

I love that last line. This was really beautiful, Erin, and felt very pressing. Almost like the reader was there. lovely job!

Madeline | Fri, 02/13/2015

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thank you, I appreciate that!

Thank you, I appreciate that!

Erin | Fri, 02/13/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

"your cologne is fading from

"your cologne is fading from my sweater"
My favourite. Heart-wrenching-ly-beautiful-ness- right there.

Maddi | Tue, 02/17/2015

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much!

Erin | Tue, 02/17/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Don't worry, Kass, I'm not

Don't worry, Kass, I'm not going to avoid courtship for fear of "breaking up". ;) I actually embrace the idea of/look forward to courtship and marriage someday, if it is the will of God.
But to me it is pointless to date or court without the intent to marry, even if it is sanctifying in the end. I heard this quote from Jefferson Bethke reacently that sums it up pretty good. It's this: "To date without the intention to marry is like going to the store without money: you eaither leave unsatisfied or you wind up taking something that isn't yours".

Damaris Ann | Thu, 02/19/2015

I am an overcomer through Christ alone, for the glory of God alone.

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