Curious

A Poem By Erin // 5/4/2014

I. Uncertainty
so you’re telling me no
but when back then
i know that
yes is ridiculous
so are chances
but i really thought
never mind

II. Tipping
rose petal colored
fingernail polish spilled
on tiled aqua floor
stained it the color
contrast she called it
it was her own
abstract decoration

III. Thought Process
needlessly i am stressed
but instead of harping on it
i am taking a deep breath
and accepting it
mindfulness
so psychology has
taught me something

IV. Almost There
i want them to trust
that i will make good decisions
i have never done anything
to make them think otherwise
typically sheltered
if i don’t try it now
when i leave i’ll go crazy
and that’s when the bad stuff starts

V. Curious
hm, what if i go backpacking
across europe
touch the ground there
feel the different taste
of the wind

VI. Older
a whole other world
where i am unrestricted
a limited number of obligations
of course it’s different
and a little frightening
but it is a change
and maybe i’ll like it

VII. Not desperate…yet?
it’s been long enough
i’m pretty available
i like to think i’m appealing
but maybe i’m not
i don’t want to be one of those girls
who hates her body and her face
so all i need is some reassurance
just a pat on the head will do
stroke my ego.

Comments

Gotta say...

Gotta say the uncapitalized 'I' are setting my teeth on edge a bit... ugh! I wish it didn't bother me, because the poems are so good, the "i"s do give it some kind of... gosh, I don't know how to explain it? A different feeling! But those "I"s are just... *starts growling under breath* Haha!
I did like these though! A lot!
I had to read "Uncertainty" three or four times, and I loved it even more every time.
"Tipping" might be my favorite. There was... so much character in it! I really loved it. Like a story scene in itself, just really incredible! Love the wording and the imagery.
"Thought Process" made me look twice... well actually more than twice :P the word "psychology" caught me off guard, I kept wanting to read it "psychologically" for whatever reason, and then the "has" there stopped me from reading it that way. I think maybe the lack of punctuation (which is always cool in poems) kind of threw me off on this one, but it was good. I really loved the use of "harping".
I loved the expression behind "Almost There" and I really enjoyed this one. Another favorite, but I think that's probably because I could relate a bit.
"Curious" is awesome! You should totally go backpacking around europe!
I enjoyed "Older" it was simple but so extremely powerful, the message behind it. I really liked it... except for the doggone "i"s :P haha!
I really loved "Not Desperate...yet"! The title is wonderful, and I love the message... and I'm sure something (*cough, "someone", cough*) will come into your life ;) But I really enjoyed the flow of the poem! Very well done!

So!!! Great bunch! Thanks for sharing! Sorry for my novel length comment ;P

Kassady | Mon, 05/05/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Lol, thanks for taking the

Lol, thanks for taking the time to comment! I understand you're thing about the i's. It really bothers me in prose, but not in poetry. I do it in these lowercase poems because, to me, it gives it a more informal, rambling type of feel. Kind of like thoughts that popped into my head. It's more of a visual thing than anything else. I might consider changing it if enough people find it distracting, though :) the writing is what's important! Thanks so much for your comment!!

Erin | Mon, 05/05/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Aw!

AW! That's the feeling that it gives! Rambling and informal. Yes, yes, definitely rambling and informal! I really do like the feeling, it's not that I don't... it's just that small editor (very small editor) part of me that cringes! Didn't mean to sound offensive or anything, sorry if I did sound rude or mean; not my intention! I was just pointing out my discomfort with it. But now that I understand why, it makes more sense and it's really great! These really do feel like ramblings, and that's awesome. Really, really enjoyable!

Kassady | Mon, 05/05/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Oh, no, I loved your comment

Oh, no, I loved your comment lol. I love critiques! I'm always looking for ways to improve. I just thought I would explain why I decided to do that so that maybe other people who read it can also have that in mind, and decide whether they like it or not :0)

Erin | Mon, 05/05/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Catching up on some comments

Catching up on some comments at 12:07 a.m. Yep!

Perk of being homeschooled, I guess!

Anyway, after disclosing that useless information--haha--I enjoy seeing other takes on issues all of us teenagers (girls in particular with some of these topics, I guess) are facing. It's nice to gain some other perspective, and though I didn't relate to very many of these, I enjoyed finding bits and pieces I've mulled over myself. I think Not desperate...yet? was probably my favorite because I just felt that one the most.

I don't mind the "i" so much, because I've used it before. Sometimes it's just so liberating not to capitalize it, that I just do it. :P So yes, the rambling thoughts do come across really, really well, especially in that first one. I loved that. It was really alive, if that's a word choice that makes sense.

Good job, Erin!

Madeline | Tue, 05/06/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thanks!!

Thanks!!

Erin | Tue, 05/06/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

:)

Good job, Erin!

I've felt Uncertainty alot of times, so I related to that one.
I really liked the imagery in Tipping. Or maybe it was just my un-healthy obsession with nailpolish and colours, who knows, honestly. Pretty sure it was both :P
Thought Process: Yep, I agree. I just totally agree.
Almost There: Oh goodness, yes. How did you write something so true? Haha.
Curious: "feel the different taste of the wind"
Older: *smiles*
Not desperate....yet?: "who hates her body and her face" Good image, everyone knows at least one of those....AT LEAST ONE. I have had the opportunity of meeting quite a couple.
"just a pat on the head will do" *reaches through the computer to pat your head* Feel better now? ;)

Maddi | Fri, 05/09/2014

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thank you so much, Maddi!

Thank you so much, Maddi!

Erin | Sun, 05/18/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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