Excerpts from NaNo Novel-The Last Nine Days of Anna Raven

Fiction By Erin // 11/12/2010

 

The Last Nine Days of Anna Raven  
 
Day One
 
Anna
          Nine days.
             I place my few possessions into a duffle bag, rethink the efficiency, then take them all back out, spreading them across my floral bedspread.
            A locket with a picture of my sister Ava. I pick it up and, after looking at her smooth face. She still looks like such a baby in that picture. I rub my thumb across her cheek, then close the locket quickly before I cry. I place the gold chain around my neck.
            My prized converse. They won’t be of much use as far as walking goes, even out in Ava’s field, but I can’t bear to leave them behind. I drew the flowers on the toes myself. Red roses and hibiscus flowers, to match the red and black checkered pattern on the shoes themselves.
            Clothes. I guess I could leave those. It doesn’t matter if I stink or not where I’m going, I suppose. I leave them on the bed.
            My flower book. I can’t leave that behind, for sure. I reach down, grab it, and clutch it to my chest. Ava helped me make it. We drew the flowers in, pressed in dried ones, cut out pictures from books and magazines and taped the names below them, ignoring Mom when she yelled at us for it. I think about looking through it but it hurts too much. I set the book down and wipe wildly at my eyes, trying to keep away any tears that threaten to come out.
            I quickly decide that the other stuff- a notebook and my plush puppy from when I was little- can be left behind. I don’t need to leave yet, anyway. I still have nine days left to say my goodbyes.
            I tear a piece of paper out of my notebook and take my pen out from the curly spine. I tear it into five pieces, figure out that one piece won’t be enough to make nine, and rip up another sheet. Then, I carry all of the pieces over to my desk and begin to write. I know just who the first goodbye is.

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Next little section-kinda explains what's going on:

Give nine notes to the nine people that you love, Ava tells me. One every day until you’re gone. I tell her I will, then ask why. She tells me, because they need to know where you’ve gone, what you’ve done, and that you’ll be watching. It’s the best way to cross over.  But you didn’t give me a note. Not Mom or Dad or Amy either, I say. I try to keep the accusation out of my voice. I didn’t give you or them any because I didn’t know that I was going until I was already gone, says Ava. I nod, but a sob is stuck in my throat. Ava’s black hair swirls around her in an angelic sort of way, the light from nowhere shining behind her back. Well, I suppose it’s from somewhere because it’s behind her. But is is really, is the question. Ava? I ask. Yes, Anna? She replies. Why did you have to go? Because it hurt too much to keep myself there.

*Sorry if it's disjointed-I'm trying not to edit too much! Critiques are very very welcome. Thanks!*

Comments

I like it

How far along are you?

Julie | Fri, 11/12/2010

Formerly Kestrel

Thanks! I'm way behind,

Thanks! I'm way behind, unfortunately. I've been extremely busy. I'm just past 11,000 words.

Erin | Fri, 11/12/2010

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Do you mind if I ask your

Do you mind if I ask your NaNo username?  I'd love to follow your progress, as this little exerpt has me intrigued. (I'm MaryRuth - one word - btw)

Mary | Tue, 11/16/2010

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Brother: Your character should drive a motorcycle.
Me: He can't. He's in the wilderness.
Brother: Then make it a four-wheel-drive motorcycle!

I'm TheGreatAuthoress-also

I'm TheGreatAuthoress-also one word :) I'll search you!

Erin | Tue, 11/16/2010

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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