On Getting Old

An Essay By Erin // 10/17/2013

Since others also seem to be catching the omgimgettingolderialmosthavenochildhoodleftwhyamisoangstyidontknowwhatiwantanymore bug, I figured that I would toss in my two cents on the subject.
Ever since I was about twelve, I’ve known what I wanted to do with my life. You know what’s funny is that I don’t even remember what that was anymore.
I hit about fifteen and started changing my mind, getting more indecisive; however, I was still ME. I wasn’t angry/angsty/sappyteenromantic. I was the kind of girl that everybody loved but also kind of hated because I was so happy all of the time. The emotional rock when everyone else was going crazy. It appeared that I had no problems (which I really didn’t—and honestly, I still don’t. It just feels that way to me). My friends, most of which are older than me, always teased me about how when I turn sixteen, I was going to feel like the world hated me and get super angsty, etc. I didn’t believe it at all, but it was a fun joke.
Bam. I turned sixteen, and a few months later I was angsty and mad at the world, and for what? I shut myself off for a while. I was going to work, coming home, doing homework, and that was about it. I was so angry that nothing was happening for me, nothing was making me feel happy and passionate like I used to feel all the time. I missed the fulfillment that came with doing something that I actually cared about.
I stopped seeing my friends as much. Part of that is scheduling issues and part of that is me. I’m changing. I’m growing up and growing away from who I used to be. If they don’t like that, I understand. I miss my “glory years”, of course, but at the same time I’m looking forward to some changes.
The thing is that I don’t know what I want these changes to be. When something good happens, I’m not even excited. It’s this never-ending, immensely frustrating cycle of wanting so many things that I feel like I can never get.
I’ve been working on it for the past couple of months. I’m trying to get out of my “angry angsty teenager mode” so that I can actually enjoy my life. I’m 17—that’s only one more year until I’m considered an adult. I feel like I haven’t even LIVED the past few months. Life is passing me by, and it’s not going to slow down to let me catch up. Sure, I don’t know what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, what my college major’s going to be, who I’m going to marry, or whether I’m going to a haunted house on Halloween; but you know what? I don’t care. It’s time for me to seize the day, ladies and gentlemen. I’m going back to Kohl’s to buy that shirt that made me look pretty. I’m going to cut my bangs like I’ve been wanting to for months. I’m going to finally start going to the gym again. I'm going to make an effort to actually see my friends, instead of waiting on them to come see me.
Heck, I might even try to learn to play the guitar on Youtube.
My point is that if we all start panicking about getting older, nothing good is going to come of it. We might as well enjoy being young because it’s not going to last much longer. Soon, our decisions are going to impact people in a real way. We’re going to be raising our kids and going to work every day, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. So let’s seize the day, ladies and gentlemen. Let’s go live our lives while we’ve still got them.

Comments

I say do it! The guitar

I say do it! The guitar thing, that is!! ;) Then post the link so I can subscribe!

And also, good essay. I enjoyed a different take on this subject. Now I'm itching to write one...

Really good job, Erin!

Madeline | Thu, 10/17/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Great pep talk!!

Yes! Let's seize the day! I liked this new take on it. And yes, go to the gym! You'll feel SO good, I promise! And definitely, go back and buy that shirt. :) I am very indecisive, so I get angry at myself about it. Annoying.
Anyway, thanks for the pep talk!! lol

Maddi | Thu, 10/17/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Lol, I'm glad y'all could

Lol, I'm glad y'all could relate!
Homey: Well, I might if I actually learn to play the guitar :P lol
Maddi: I love the gym, I've just been busy and admittedly rather lazy! Lol, I need to get going again!

Erin | Thu, 10/17/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Love your take!

Thank you Erin for writing this! It's truly inspiring. Honestly, this helps me see what NOT to do when I'm in this faze, and do what you're doing now, seizing the day! I REFUSE to be angry all the time... Only some of the time :P I think the best way to stay happy is to spend a lot of time with friends, laughing, watching romantic comedies (Drama's are WAY OUT) and just really vent... Venting is awesome. I think what I wrote was a huge vent, and it relieved me. I think this was a vent and pep talk for yourself, and we all need pep talks from ourselves, cause those are the best (they make you feel like you actually are a smart person and you can be happy and positive :P).
"Go seize the day" Will be my motto now! I'll write it on a huge poster board and hang it up on my ceiling over my bed so every morning I can wake up and see that!
Thanks Erin!!! Good luck.

Kassady | Sun, 10/20/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

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