Happy/Goodbyes

A Poem By Erin // 10/1/2014

I. Happy
A couple got engaged
on top of the rock where I
celebrated my birthday.
They picked up the rose petals
that he had laid down for her,
and when I walked by I saw them
looking at each other as if
no one else had ever existed,
and I have never seen
a person look at another person
quite like that.
It made me want to
build something beautiful
like they did.

II. Page Parkes
All of these girls are a size 0.2
(really, apparently that’s a size)
I try to relate myself to them but
I just can’t see the skinny, frail me
I’m a size 6 or 8 or something, that’s not fat
but according to this industry I’m plus-sized
and that just doesn’t sit well with me.

III. Fiancé
I want to be pretty
Like she is
Her hair falls in all the right
Places
And she always wears the right
Things
I know that’s not why you’re marrying
Her
But it doesn’t stop my superficial mind
From wishing.

IV. Old Friend
New memories resurface every once in a while,
how once he accidently hit my baby brother
with a basketball
and when he started crying, he gave him the ball
and said, “Throw it at me! Go on! Hit me!”
and my brother started throwing the ball at him
and got to laughing again
and how I took for granted how wonderful that was
for a kid to think about people like that.

V. Goodbyes
I found out how he died
it was a four-wheeler accident
they weren’t supposed to be
messing with it
he wasn’t the one driving
until
they got a blowout
and he
shoved his friend out of the way
and
tried to take control
and
he hit the tree
he probably
died
instantly.

VI. Blake
For some reason
it made me feel
better
to know that
he was still the boy
I used to know
even on his
last breath.

Comments

The last three made me so

The last three made me so sad. And not in a bad way, or anything. They were stunning, Erin--just stunning. Especially "Blake". Just the simple sentiment was gorgeous. This was a lovely bunch, and beautiful way to pay homage to your friend. I hope you're coping okay with this news. I can't imagine--I don't want to, even--but I'm glad this poetry helped you to sort through your feelings. Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share it with us.

As for the others, I adored 'Happy'. Again, the way you write just evokes such emotions and--I dunno--it's like I feel your poems. They're that good. 'Happy' was so exception, and I love the bit about how you've never seen anybody looking at another person like that. Just perfect.

Okay, so I googled Page Parkes. Hope you don't mind! :P I would love to hear the backstory on this, but the poem says a lot and--hey, I'm in the same boat as you. Some people are naturally skinny, some people are naturally curvier. I fall more towards the latter--always have. You know, you should get a portfolio done (which you may have already had) and check this out:

http://www.modcloth.com/about_us/careers/openings

They have modeling jobs open in LA and Pittsburgh, which I know is a ways away from you--but I dunno, maybe you'd want to check it out? Kass and I LOVE Modcloth and they are untraditional in that they employ people of all shapes and sizes. So both you and I would be considered part of their regular sizing. *shrug*

Modeling standards are ridiculous to me and I just wish they were more open. I mean, there are places like Modcloth who are more realistic but I just--the whole institution of it is corrupted. But anyway.

Best of luck to you! If we FaceTime sometime it would be totally great to hear all about this! :)

'Fiance' was good as well. You ARE pretty, which I'm sure you know. I love how effectively you're able to communicate emotions and details. It's just so clean-cut and flows so well! Love it!

:) Thanks, Erin!! Sorry for novel-length comment...waaaahhhhh

Madeline | Wed, 10/01/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Here's their 'models' page:

Here's their 'models' page: http://www.modcloth.com/models

Madeline | Wed, 10/01/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thanks, I appreciate it!!

Thanks, I appreciate it!! Yeah, I have a couple of friends who are models who also do photography, so we're going to have some photo-shoot days where we trade taking pictures of each other (because I also do photography. Haha), so that way I'll have a portfolio started up for both photography and modeling.
A lot of independent photographers trying to build their portfolios are looking for models of all sizes, so I think that's what I'm going for. It would be really fun to do some conceptual art pieces. I just looked up Page Parkes out of curiosity and saw that there were only about three girls above a size 4 haha. A girl from one of my classes does runway stuff (THAT'S something I would never do. You literally have to starve yourself to be on the runway most of the time) and was thinking about signing with them.
I've always wanted to try stuff from Modcloth! I'll look into it. It would be super fun if they could do some sort of distance modeling situation, where they send me the stuff and I get somebody to take pictures.....hmmm.....
I'll look into it, thanks!!

Erin | Wed, 10/01/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

OMG I'M BROWSING THEIR

OMG I'M BROWSING THEIR WEBSITE I WANT EVERYTHING....The modeling's a little far away but THEIR DRESSES.

Erin | Wed, 10/01/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Happy birthday, Erin! I loved

Happy birthday, Erin! I loved this whole set. I can relate to the las three, and the one you wrote called gone. My friend didn't die, but he was suddenly taken down with Gillene Barre, and the Doctors said they had never seen a case that bad before. He has total paralysis even in his neck, so he he can't even breathe by his self, and has to have a tube down his throat. I actually starting writing poetry for him yesterday, just to help with my feelings, and it does help a lot!
Anyway, I lve your style of writing, and this set is perfect.
God bless you!

Damaris Ann | Wed, 10/01/2014

"It is the small temptations which undermine integrity unless we watch and pray and never think them too trivial to be resisted."
-Luisa May Alcott

Thanks, I appreciate it! I'm

Thanks, I appreciate it! I'm so sorry about your friend. That would be really hard to deal with.

Erin | Wed, 10/01/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Love but sad!

I'd write a long admiring comment but everything I would have said was said by Homey (I swear we share the same brain sometimes!), so I'll just stick with ditto, and I'm so so sorry about your friend! Thank you for sharing your work, your emotions and your heart!

Kassady | Wed, 10/01/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Erin, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I

Erin, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I completely forgot to wish you one on your birthday...school really carries you away.

I really love these poems. The first one - was SO sweet! I read it a few times. You described it well. Then the other poems about him...I really loved those too. Thank you for sharing them. I hope you've been feeling better.

Lucy Anne | Wed, 10/01/2014

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks to both of you! I have

Thanks to both of you! I have been doing better. @Megan: you have no idea. They were so adorable!! I love engagements and weddings. :)

Erin | Wed, 10/01/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Happy birthday Erin!!

These have to be some of my favourite of yours. So lovely!
You wrote Happy so well and just tied in so well together, I love it.
Page Parkers: I agree!
"but according to this industry I’m plus-sized
and that just doesn’t sit well with me."
Well no, it doesn't sit well with me either :)
Fiancé: I really liked this one as well. You are so good at putting your emotions into words!
Old Friend was probably my favourite. I love it so much because the picture painted is still fresh in my mind.
Goodbyes and Blake are so sad but stunning like Homey said and written so well I can't believe how well you portray everything. I do hope you're feeling better as well :)

I love engagements and weddings too ;)

Maddi | Sun, 10/05/2014

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thank you!!!

Thank you!!!

Erin | Sun, 10/05/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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