i know what you've done

A Poem By Erin // 11/6/2015

he tries to touch me
but I shrink away
his eyes are watching
accosting me

my skin shudders
as he spits rhymes
and sweet words to the girl
on my left

she’s laughing
but she doesn’t know
what he did
last night

he does not have
good intentions

I don’t know
how to tell him
to back off

Comments

Wow, this is really good,

Wow, this is really good, Erin. And so powerful. I practically just wanted to recoil reading about this person. The way you use words here is masterful. It's simple, but not overly so. It's not cluttered with unnecessary, long, wordy stanzas--not that your poems are, ever, but still. You just know how to write

my skin shudders
as he spits rhymes

Fabulous use of spits there. It's adds to the ick-factor of this character, and my skin shudders is also a favorite. Very potent.

Madeline | Fri, 11/06/2015

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thank you, I appreciate it!

Thank you, I appreciate it!

Erin | Sun, 11/08/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

:)

I really super duper enjoyed this. It was so vivid and I caught the exact feeling you described, no, I FELT everything you described. Really well done, Erin!

Off-topic--Did you have a birthday or have I not taken notice of the 'Age' section, or have I simply forgotten when your birthday was?!
Hope college is going well for you!

Maddi | Mon, 11/09/2015

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thank you! College is great.

Thank you! College is great. I had a birthday in September. :)

Erin | Mon, 11/09/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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