Inward Chaos

A Poem By Erin // 8/26/2013

1. Inward Chaos
You make me a quiet kind of crazy
Send me into internal turmoil
I don’t think you know
But if you do, you’re good at hiding it

2. Head Over Heels
I’m enraptured by every part of you
They say eyes are a reflection of a person’s soul
If that’s the case, yours is beautiful
I’ve never met someone like you
I don’t think I will again.

3. Is it Freedom?
You didn’t cross my mind right away
My first instinct wasn’t to say your name
I didn’t lose my breath, my stomach didn’t get tight
I have to say that I haven’t been this liberated in a very long time

4. My Resignation
I resign.
My world revolves around you
You probably haven’t given me a second thought
I’m tired of this
I’m turning in my notice
I don’t care if you care
But I thought I’d pass along the news
I’m resigning myself from you.

5. A weird thought
Everyone wants to grow old
But is there a sort of beauty in dying young?
Before the world can hurt you
When you still feel alive

6. If I Could Help You
I know I’m looking at you
But I’m really looking right through you
I see so much more than this
You are better than you think.

7. Okay, Maybe a Bit
One could say I’m obsessed
I prefer the word enlightened
I had simply never noticed
What shade of green his eyes were
Or that he had one and a half dimples
When he smiled.

8. An Unexpected Surprise
Of all the places I thought I’d be a few years ago
Of all the people I thought I would be talking with
I never thought it would be here
I didn’t think it would be him.

9. I’m A Geek
I’ve never had a problem with being a bit of a geek
I’ve never felt the need to seek approval from other people
But lately, I find myself wanting to change
And I’m ashamed by it.

10. So I Might Be Melting
I just sort of
Love
The way the sun looks on your skin

11. Fondly Remembered
362 days since he walked out of my life
Sometimes I think about him
Sometimes I don’t
Sometimes I wonder if he thinks about me.

12. Disengaged
I hate it when you talk like that
Like you hate your life
Hate everyone in it
But there’s always something to smile about
Sometimes you just have to look a little harder.

13. My Love is Sad
If I could help you
I would
I’m willing to do just about anything
But only for you, my darling
It’s a sad sort of truth

14. I Hate the Number Thirteen
I really only wrote this part
Because I don’t like the number 13
But 14 is a weird number, too
So I think I will write another one.

15. That’s Better
Hi.
Here I am again
Writing pointless poetry
Because I have awkward number phobias.
And 15 is a solid number.

Comments

This set of poems is feeling

This set of poems is feeling much more inspired than the previous ones. You can really tell. There were a bunch of great lines, and good poems, and overall this was a lovely installment. I'll break some down a bit, if ya don't mind:

1. "Inward Chaos"
Okay. I read this over. And over. And five seconds ago it just clicked. Perfection. I get this. I seriously get this. Every single line has a purpose to the point where it's almost overwhelming--it's so short, but I feel like I could dissect it into a thousand different meanings. Those first two lines were especially poignant.

2. "Head Over Heels"
Again. I was able to relate this to myself and it was "Inward Chaos" all over again. Just lovely. How you said their eyes were beautiful in a roundabout way. "I'm enraptured by every part of you" ...I SO GET THAT.

3. "Is it Freedom?"
Okay. So. I read this over again as I'm typing out this comment, and I'm like, "This doesn't make much sense. I don't--OH." And then it clicked again. I was trying to make sense of this poem in the completely wrong way. Then I got it and now I love this so much.

4. "My Resignation"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These are resounding more and more with me every time I read them. These are the poems of an obsessed girl, and I love it, because every single girl is obsessed with someone/something and it makes perfect, wonderful sense. So good job.

5. "A weird thought"
Morbid. Really, really morbid. It made me feel uneasy. I couldn't bring myself to write that poem down, so I commend you. It's not like it's a bad poem--not at all--but the message is one that's uncomfortable. And also, since I like to talk about music, it reminded me of "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey (which I'm sure you know)

6. "If I Could Helped You"
This seemed contradictory. On one hand, the girl's looking through him...on the other she says she sees so much more. Didn't relate to this one quite as well, but it's good.

7. "Okay, Maybe a Bit"
A bit reflective of some older poetry of yours. Still lovely.

8 and 9 had less depth in my opinion, and I didn't connect as well.

I really thought 10 was cute. And perfect. 11 was a bit too general for me. As was 12. I liked 13. And the same for 14 and 15.

I better wrap this up. Yikes!

KEEP POSTING!

Madeline | Mon, 08/26/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Ahh, thank you so much! I was

Ahh, thank you so much! I was super excited to see such a long comment :D.
I'm glad that you were able to connect to so many of these. I thought about not even posting A Weird Thought because I wasn't sure if people would take it the wrong way. It's actually inspired by a couple of different Lana Del Rey songs, funny enough! (Ride and Born to Die. They are pretty awesome. She tends to be super morbid and use those "die young" ideals in her songs, which definitely makes for some thought-provoking lyrics).
Anyway, thank you so much for commenting!

Erin | Tue, 08/27/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Nice!

These are really beautiful. I especially liked number 8. Keep writing!

-Susannah

Susannah | Wed, 08/28/2013

"Even if the sun crashes into earth, I won't let go, I won't let go. I can be your light, stay with me tonight, I won't let go, I won't let go."

So much...

So much poetry! I feel my brain slowly melt, LOL! I've been reading a lot of Homey's poetry and then went to yours... they seem to be very similar! All angsty and full of love, a lot of unrequited love, which is always fun to read... but FOR HEAVENS SAKE JUST FALL HEAD OVER HEELS ALREADY WITH SOMEONE WHO FEELS THE SAME WAY!!! LOL! Okay... sorry, that's rude, and I'm sure you're like "Okay... Kassady has become insane..." and I did warn you my brain has begun to melt... but seriously!!! :P Writing poetry about people falling in love with you is good too!!! LOL!
These of course were written masterfully! Lovely and wonderful! Loved the wording and... well everything! You know me, I have nothing bad to say about your poetry, because I just love it!
10 might have been my favorite! So simple and cute and sweet! I know Homey would disagree, and that's fine, but I loved it! :P

Kassady | Wed, 08/28/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Why would I disagree?? LOL.

Why would I disagree?? LOL. And with what? Haha. I LOVED ten!

Madeline | Wed, 08/28/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

These are beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Although, I do agree with Kassady. Tinsy bit rude, but hey, writing poetry about someone falling in love with YOU would be a nice change. Maybe I'll do it. Haha.

Anyway, these are so lovely! I feel connected. Okay. Feedback time.

1. Inward Chaos: "Internal turmoil" I love both these words for some random reason.

2. Head over Heels: LOVE!! I love every part of this. Enraptured/reflection: beautiful.

3. Is It Freedom?: A contemplating poem.

4. Good. I felt a "hurrah" with that one.

5. A Weird Thought: I really like this. A little morbid, yeah, but it's the kind of thing I would think about in one of my random thinkings. A weird thought indeed.

6. If I Could Help You: Nice flow.

7. Okay, Maybe a Bit: I liked this one very much. Every girl has to admit something like this once in a while.

8, 9, 10. Nice. 10 is cute. :)

11. Fondly Remembered: Beautiful.

12. Disengaged: OH! Man, this has happened to me. ARHH! Okay. I really, REALLY relate. Ha. :D

I love number 14 and 15.

Do you learn Spanish? Just another random thought there.

Awesome job!

Maddi | Wed, 08/28/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Oh

Homey: Oh, I read your comment wrong :P This is why I really should not skim peoples comments and then make a comment about them :P I thought you said 10, 11 etc lacked substance :P LOL! AND I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT MY COMMENT! :P LOL!

Sorry! I didn't mean to be rude! Just saying!!!! :D

Kassady | Wed, 08/28/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Aw, thanks guys!!! I was

Aw, thanks guys!!! I was shocked by so many comments!
Susannah: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! :D
Kassady: Your comment made me laugh out loud! LOL, you're telling me. That would be refreshing if it would actually happen!!! Anyway, thank you so much, you're always super encouraging!!!
Maddi: Thank you so much! I haven't taken Spanish, although I would like to. I understand a lot of it and speak a little (in my area, probably about half of the population is Hispanic).
Anyway, thanks for being awesome, y'all!!!

Erin | Wed, 08/28/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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