A Natural Deterioration

A Poem By Erin // 10/22/2013

Might as well have stuffed explosives down my throat 
They've found a way to blow up my heart
An elephant is sleeping on my chest and it won't listen to me, it won't get
off
The scent of the end has wafted in through my window
We are going to decay
Like a dead mouse hidden by undergrowth
Hold on tight, it's almost over.

Comments

Love it!

"An elephant is sleeping on my chest and it won't listen to me, it won't get
off"

That is such a good comparison!

"Hold on tight, it's almost over."

Well thank goodness, then. :P

Maddi | Tue, 10/22/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

The concept around this was

The concept around this was good, but I didn't feel a sense of anything while reading it. Urgency, worry, resignation...it just wasn't there, for whatever reason. My favorite line is this, though: The scent of the end has wafted in through my window

Madeline | Tue, 10/22/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Love-

Love these two lines: Might as well have stuffed explosives down my throat
They've found a way to blow up my heart

Kassady | Wed, 10/23/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Thanks for the comments

Thanks for the comments everybody! Homey--I see what you mean. I need to diversify. Lol.

Erin | Fri, 10/25/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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