One Week/I Am Not a Formality/Horses Make the Best BFFs/really more of an essay but they're a series of prose poems so yeah

A Poem By Erin // 11/2/2013

Monday.
He made things happen for me today
His blue eyes smiled from dawn till dusk
He told me I’d do good things
I believed him and I still do
I’m on cloud nine right now
I’m feeling so much less empty
Not so alone
Things are finally coming together.

Tuesday.
I like my new friends
I’m busy
All the time
With school, with work
They fit into my schedule
Conveniently
Like puzzle pieces

Wednesday.
Another day, another dollar
At the end of the day I’m tired
Mom and I watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower
It’s perfect
New favorite movie
I’m happy that tonight ends on a high note

8am Thursday.
Email in my inbox
Has my name on it
A well planned letter
Feels more like an intervention
My old friends and I have been drifting apart
For quite some time now
I didn’t realize that it had quite come to this
To “address changes in my behavior”
She is not my school counselor
But a lot of what she had to say was true
But she made it sound like my own fault
Like she hasn’t done the same thing for longer
Now I’m just feeling both guilty and betrayed
That they are concocting this story about my intentions
That they didn’t know me well enough to know I wouldn’t do that
Just as I was starting to feel better
This week that started out so good
Doesn’t seem like it’ll end that way.

10am Thursday.
Text my best friend
Is she angry, too?
I am expecting a no
But I receive the opposite
I try to explain my side of things
I don’t mean to sound angry, but I am
We fight and argue
For the first time ever
Boom.
Just like that
She cuts it off, severed like a piece of twine
It’s so sad for me to think that 14 years of friendship
Can end so abruptly
I guess people burn bridges
A helluva lot quicker than they build them
I don’t know why the blame is being thrusted on me
Obviously this has been building for quite some time
I’ve been sitting here feeling lost, stressed, and friendless
For basically the past year
I’ve been wondering why I felt so ditched
At least now I know
But I would never have dreamed of it ending like this
Not in a million years.

2pm Thursday.
I still want to be friends is what I said
But is that really true?
I don’t want to be a formality
None of us deserve it
2011 was a good year but I’m not fourteen anymore
I’m getting older, we’re getting older
It’s time for us to get a move on with our lives

6pm Thursday
Horses and a camera have a special way of making a girl feel better
I love the click of my lens and the sound of my buddy’s hungry whinny
I get a few good shots in while the lighting’s nice
Then I hug my horse and he hugs me back
Lets me cry in his mane and stroke his soft coat
Horses make the best BFFs
I’ll stick with animals from now on.

9pm Thursday.
It’s amazing what the SNL Halloween Special, new jeans, and Rolos can do
I’m feeling less guilty, less sad
Is it crazy if I even feel relieved?
I’m losing everything
But this way I might finally be able to start fresh
I think I’m feeling so not-awful because I know
That I’m being the bigger person here
I haven’t seen them because I have responsibilities
Responsibilities that admittedly eat my life
I have a car payment to keep up
A horse to care for
And a lot of catching up on school to do
If I’m going to the universities I want
I feel okay
Because I’m not the one making this decision
Sure, I still wanted to be friends
But were we really even friends if they think I would do that?
It’s not even worth it.

Friday.
It’s so good to feel appreciated
Since I basically felt like dirt yesterday
He told me at least twenty times
That I was the most amazing person alive
Even though he was exaggerating
It was refreshing to be important
He has the most amazing way of making me feel better
Without having a clue what’s going on
It felt so good to put that smile on his face
At least I did something right for somebody.

Comments

Wow. I love these. And

Wow. I love these. And wonderful idea--you should totally keep this up. I love autobiographical poetry.

It does sound like a rough week. But if it helps, I went through something far less dramatic (but still semi-hard at the time) when I was younger with a friend of eight years, and I met Kassady right after. :D So I can promise everything works out--as you seemed to have realized, from the way it got happier at the end.

P.S. And oh, DUH, good luck with Goodbye Burt! *slaps hand to forehead* Let us know what happens!

Madeline | Sat, 11/02/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

...

WOW, oh my gosh. These were so, so SO real! Are these non-fiction?? Because I FELT like they were so so SO life-like.

Anyways, hope next week is better for you. These are like, my favourite poems of yours now. I absolutely LUV every line. EVERY LINE.
And I hope you find a really awesome best friend. I've had mine for 8 years; we live 5 hrs apart...and we just started getting REALLY close. It's really special, and I hope you find one! <3
Goodbye Burt -- Great!! Excited for you!

Maddi | Sun, 11/03/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Homey: thank you! Yeah,

Homey: thank you! Yeah, everything works out for a reason. Hopefully these last two years of high school end up being the best yet! And thank you, I'll keep y'all in the loop!
Maddi: Yes, these are unfortunately non fiction :(. I'm glad you liked them! And thank you, too, I hope it gets accepted!

Erin | Sun, 11/03/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

:(

NOOOO! How could they then?! Arrh! I feel stressed over something that isn't even my problem. Hm. Well, just remember God loves you and...smile. :)

Maddi | Sun, 11/03/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Lol, you're sweet, thank you.

Lol, you're sweet, thank you.

Erin | Sun, 11/03/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

My heart aches for you!

Hey!!! These are well written, and I am impressed that you posted them, because they ARE so raw, and they are so personal! You are so brave and thats what makes you awesome! Keep being awesome Erin! We all believe in you, and so you are not alone! If they stopped being your friends, then too bad for them, because they just said goodbye to a powerful-- Beautiful Amazing Doer Awesome Super Spy ;)!!! See if you can figure out my rebellious compliment (still pretty Porcupines Insist So Selfishly Enriched Doorbell about the Snakes Talk And Never Do Anything Really Dumb So)
Hope a new friend will come your way, who appreciates you!
Good writing!

Kassady | Mon, 11/11/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

My heart aches for you!

Hey!!! These are well written, and I am impressed that you posted them, because they ARE so raw, and they are so personal! You are so brave and thats what makes you awesome! Keep being awesome Erin! We all believe in you, and so you are not alone! If they stopped being your friends, then too bad for them, because they just said goodbye to a powerful-- Beautiful Amazing Doer Awesome Super Spy ;)!!! See if you can figure out my rebellious compliment (still pretty Porcupines Insist So Selfishly Enriched Doorbell about the Snakes Talk And Never Do Anything Really Dumb So)
Hope a new friend will come your way, who appreciates you!
Good writing!

Kassady | Mon, 11/11/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

My heart aches for you!

Hey!!! These are well written, and I am impressed that you posted them, because they ARE so raw, and they are so personal! You are so brave and thats what makes you awesome! Keep being awesome Erin! We all believe in you, and so you are not alone! If they stopped being your friends, then too bad for them, because they just said goodbye to a powerful-- Beautiful Amazing Doer Awesome Super Spy ;)!!! See if you can figure out my rebellious compliment (still pretty Porcupines Insist So Selfishly Enriched Doorbell about the Snakes Talk And Never Do Anything Really Dumb So)
Hope a new friend will come your way, who appreciates you!
Good writing!

Kassady | Mon, 11/11/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Sorry!

Sorry it posted three times!!!

Kassady | Mon, 11/11/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Aw, thank you so much!! And

Aw, thank you so much!!
And LOL. That seriously made me giggle. :D

Erin | Tue, 11/12/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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