Peaches, pt 5

Fiction By Erin // 10/23/2011

*A/N* A pathetically short chapter, I know, but I needed to write something on this. Here you go!

 

When he slept, he couldn’t help but remember everything she couldn’t. Restlessly, he tossed around on the cold stone floor that he had decided to sleep on, even though Marie wouldn’t take the bed. Instead, she too slept on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket.
            He screwed his eyes more tightly shut, willing himself to stop remembering, stop thinking about what he longed for once again.
“Don’t leave me,” she asked, smiling and wrapping him up in a tight embrace.
“Of course not,” he said in reply, pushing the frizzy, curly hair away from her face. He got to see her smile grow just before she buried her face in his black sweater.
            “We should go somewhere,” Marie said, her voice slightly muffled. He tensed.
            “What are you talking about,” he asked with a nervous laugh, struggling to keep his voice relaxed.
            Marie looked up at him. Her fingers were still interlaced behind his back, bit he felt them loosen a little bit. Her eyes sparkled with suspicion. Sometimes he wished that she weren’t so intelligent, so intuitive.
            “Why not?” she asked, her voice slightly tighter than before.
            He kissed her hair. “Why do we need to go anywhere when we have right here.”
 
His eyes snapped open, his heart fluttering wildly around in his chest. He sank back and then heard a rustling, someone stepping closer to him. He lifted himself up onto his elbows and saw Marie, dressed in a white sleeping gown and wrapped up in a big blanket, standing maybe a foot away from him. She looked so, so small, her bushy hair sticking out in crazy directions, the blanket making her look tinier than she actually was.
            “Are you okay?” she asked in a hushed voice.
            “Yes,” he said resistantly. He wanted to ask the question, but refused. “Yes, I’m fine.”
            “I think I remember something,” she blurted, as if she couldn’t believe the words coming from her mouth.
            He felt himself swell with joy and hope. “What is it,” he asked.
            “Your name.”

Comments

UGH!

UGH! You left off there? I WANT MORE!!! I damand it from you! LOL!

This is soooo super good! I loved it!

It was way to short though :-P MORE PLEASE!!!

Pretty please? *puppy dog eyes*

PLEEEEEASSSSEEE!!! 

Love it!

Write on!

Kassady | Mon, 10/24/2011

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Wow

I love all the suspense and the mystery. Like, why isn't everything real? Who is Marie? Why is it that only Marie seems able to recognize that not everything is real? Who is this man?

I can't wait to read more!

Elizabeth Anne | Mon, 10/24/2011

See him with his books:
Tree beside the brooks,
Drinking at the root
Till the branch bear fruit.
See him with his pen:
Written line, and then,
Better thought preferred,
Deep from in the Word.
~John Piper

Thanks, y'all! I've been

Thanks, y'all! I've been having some writer's block as far as this story goes, so I'm glad that you liked it.

Erin | Mon, 10/24/2011

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

That's a breakthrough,

That's a breakthrough, right? He wanted it before, but I have a sneaking suspicion something else will go wrong. Maybe that's just me.

I did notice they're saying a lot of questions as if they were statements.

Anna | Tue, 10/25/2011

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

Maybe, maybe not.... ;D The

Maybe, maybe not.... ;D

The only reason I did that was because Mr. Nameless states questions. Now that you mention it, since it was from his POV I should probably change that. He doesn't know that he talks weirdly!

Erin | Tue, 10/25/2011

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

 I am absolutely intrigued by

 I am absolutely intrigued by this story!  I didn't comment on  the other parts because I thought I would just wait until this one since I was catching up...but let me just say that I loved how you began this story in Part 1, with the words "My world was fuzzy and soft around the edges."  It fit perfectly with the title!  Also, for some reason, Part 4 reminded me of Beauty and the Beast -- I think it was all the candles and the dark castle and the hesitant, small girl with the man (or beast) who seems to know her.  For whatever reason, it made me love the story even more.

Keep up the good work, this is a wonderful story. :)

Clare Marie | Fri, 10/28/2011

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -Bilbo Baggins [The Lord of the Rings]

Wow, thanks! I'm glad that

Wow, thanks! I'm glad that you like it so much! :D

Erin | Fri, 10/28/2011

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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