A Tale of Two Friends.....On an Extremely Treacherous and Deadly Journey to Invent Pancakes: Co written by Tayme

Fiction By E // 6/23/2011

Taylor: Erin, you're holding the sacred map upside down!

Erin: Thou beeth a liar!!! *sneakily turns map right side up* See! It is correct! I am a genius!

Taylor: BAH! You tried to hide that sneeky move from me, but I saw you turn it over! You fool! You've gotten us lost in this vast, abysstuious forest!

Erin: *Sniffs huffily* Don't be a fool! Abysstuious isn't a word!!!!

Taylor: Psh! What do you know of what is true? You had the map upside down. Ugh. At this rate, we will never find the fantasticle cook book! And we will never uncover the secret of the mystical pancake!

Erin: I have already showed you, you foolish scallywag, that I had the map right side up the entire time! Thou hath their eyeballs blinded! You really should get them fixed, by the way, I am seriously concerned for your eyesight. You wore mismatched stockings today, and your corset is the opposite color of your fine hat......

Taylor: Oh, silence yourself, chlild! You must give the map to me! If not, we will surely be lost forever in this ever lasting forest of death!!!!!!!!

Erin: *Tears well up in eyes. Taylor lunges for map. Erin shrieks and wacks her in the most sensitive part of her body-the ears.* I WANNA GET THE PANCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!! IWANNAIWANNAIWANNA!!!!! I cannot believe I chose to bring you on my journey, you daft, duck-footed, bat-eyed maiden!!!!! *rolls up map and wacks Taylor in the ears again*

Taylor: Woman! You dare do such a thing! Hitting my ears like that! Did you have no mother???? I should hit your ears like that and show you how it feels!!!!! *leaps for Erin's tender ears like a wild animal. Erin dodges like a ninja and repeatedly slaps Taylor's already wounded ears.*

Erin: Be sensible, woman! *wacks again* even if we are torn to shreds in our hearteths, we must continue on our fine quest to invent the pancake! Soon, the cookbook of wonders will decay in to the decaying earth, and the future world will be pancakeless!!! *hikes up skirt above knees. Taylor gasps in horror. Erin tells her that she's too blind to see anyway. Marches on journey*

Taylor: Erin! Read the map! Read the map! If you venture farther you will...*Erin falls into deep hole.* NO!!!!!!!!

Erin: Oh, human waste on a spatula! Taylor, you must save me before I....before I.....I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!!!!!!

Taylor: *Races for the hole* I AM COMING TO SAVE YOU!!!!!.....You arrogant fool. BUT STILL! I COME FOR YOU ON SWIFT LEGS!!!!! *trips, falls abruptly onto face* NO! I HAVE FALLEN!!! But do not worry! I will crawl!!!! *starts crawling*

Erin: Um, Taylor, you hath fallen in the hole.

Taylor:...Oh...Well, dung. But do not fret! We will find a way out! Why, looky there! A vine conviently placed over the edge of this great hole! Let us use it to escape this dreadful gap in the earth! *Grabs vine with determined glint in eye*

 Erin: Taylor, I am already out. Take my hand! *Puts hand in hole, outstretched to save her fool of a friend* 

Taylor: Oh...you move quickly. *Takes hand* Though I can't help but think that here is something odd about that vine. Now that I have better look at it. Suspicious looking thing, isn't it?

Erin: I must taketh you to the herbalist. Your eyes be seeething things. This direction, bat-eyes! *points south and marches proudly*

Taylor: I AM NOT BLIND! And- *Stops to listen* Did you hear that??? It sounded like some kind of growling neer by! ALAS! We shall be eaten if it is a large man eating beast seeking to feest upon our juicy flesh!!!!!!!!!! *fear, terror, and utter terrifiedness*

Erin: It be fairly obvious, foolish, blind, deaf maiden, that a large MAN eating beast must only be seeking MEN. Since we are fine ladies-or at least I am-it should not bother us. But it is nonexistent. OH, HEAVENS! THE VINE IS CREEPING UP YOUR ARM!! *Taylor screams and proceeds to hop around like a rabid bunny. Erin cackles.* Only joking, my friend.....only joking. OH, DEAR LORD ABOVE WHOM OF WHICH GAVE ME MY FINE MANNERS AND BEAUTY!!! THE VINE REALLY IS THERE!!!!!!!!!!

Taylor: Haha! You cannot fool me this time! I am not so naive! *laughs louder. Then suddenly screams as vine crawls up her left leg like a snake.* OH, GOOD HEAVENS!!!!!!!! IT IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Starts jumping around, swiping at vine with hands*

Erin: NO! TAYLOR! I SHALT SAVETH THOU!!! *Bounds towards her dear, but bat eyed, friend and begins to bite wildly at the vine.* NARNAMNARNAMNARNAMMMMM!!!!!! *Finally breaks the vine and proceeds to throw it on the ground, shrieking and stomping, and beats it with the map.* I GOT THE EARS! I GOT THE EARS!!!! 

Taylor: THANK YOU, MY FRIEND!!!!!!!! You have saved my life! Now, we must be on our way to find the fantastic, wonderous, magiclistic cook book!!!! *Grabs Erin's hand and drags her off deeper into the woods*

Erin: *Several hours later* I think I have spottedethed it, my bat-eyed friend! I hath spotted its magnificant glow! *Runs ahead*

Taylor: Huzzah!!!! I think you are right, my companion!!! In that clearing not too far ahead of our path! *Runs with extreme speed*

Erin: *Already picking up book while Taylor runs in slow motion behind her* I cannot believe my wide eyes! I had no clue what wonders such a red and white checkered Home and Gardens cookbook held! See it, Taylor? It glows! Well, of course you cannot, because you have the eyes of a common cucumber. I feel as if I could just.....just leap into the pages.....*sets book down and lets Taylor leap into pages accidentally first. Then steps in hesitantly*

Taylor: *Shrieks like a small girl* I AM FALLING!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erin: I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA, TAYLOR!!!! HOW COULD YOUR BLIND EYES FORCE ME TO DO THIS???? *Lands on pavement with a thump* Ouch! What sort of hard surface is this! It's like a giant rock from the Devil!

Taylor: *Still screaming and flailing arms and leg about* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!...*Freezes* Oh...no longer falling I see...Well, I knew that!..Where are we?????????????

Erin: *Gasps and whips head around dramatically to Taylor, hair being flung over shoulder and around face.* I think we may be in.........the future!



If anybody cares




We are so cool!!!


Tayme | Thu, 06/23/2011

Complete and Total AWESOME!

LOL, I know, right!!! XD

E | Thu, 06/23/2011

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond


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