Unnamed

Fiction By Erin // 5/23/2010

*A/N* hey! I wrote this a while ago, liked it, and after fixing a couple of things, decided to post it. Hope y'all enjoy!!!

You wake up.
          The clock at your bedside table says that it is two-thirty a.m. Groaning, you roll over onto your stomach.
          Crunch, crunch. What was that? You wonder, lifting your head to listen more acutely. Crunch, crunch. It sounds like footsteps on leaves. Tired but curious, you clamber out of bed and step out to your window.
          The slight form of a person stepped through the lamplight at your patio. Startled, you almost jump back from the window. Then you lean forward. The person has walked out from the lamplight.
          You really shouldn’t go….But no one should be on your property! You silently open your window and slowly step out onto the crunchy fall leaves. You leave the window open, so you can get back in.
          You creep along, and the dew is getting your feet damp. You don’t see the person yet. Oh! There she is! She is standing in front of your lake. You can barely see her because of the darkness, but you know that a mop of dark hair falls around her face, and that she is skinny and lank.
          “Hey! This is my property!” you shout. The girl doesn’t turn. Cautiously, you get closer. “Did you hear me! Get out!”
          Her head slowly, eerily turns. Her face is blank and expressionless. You take a step back. She doesn’t look threatening, but there is a chill coming off of her.
          Then, before you know what she is doing, the girl leaps into the lake.
          “Oi!” you shout, running to the water’s edge. Is she mad? It is November. There is a huge splash, and a serpentine monster shoots from the lake, with the girl on its back. It’s so close to you that you can see the reflection of your face on its scales. You yell and stagger backwards. The serpent and its master dive back into the water, and you can still hear the splash echoing around the now almost empty landscape.
          You notice that you are trembling, and you step backwards again. You must be dreaming! You close your eyes for a moment, then open them, expecting dry clothes and a warm bed. But no, you are still standing with pine trees and a chilly lake.

Comments

This is fascinating but just

This is fascinating but just a little eerie...good descript and suspence, Erin.

LoriAnn | Wed, 05/26/2010

Cool

 this is so neat. I love second person things  and this seems like a teaser trailer of a super awesome book.

Keri | Wed, 05/26/2010

LoriAnn: Thanks! I wrote it a

LoriAnn: Thanks! I wrote it a couple of years ago, I think. Or it seems like a couple of years ago, anyway!

Keri T: Thanks so much! I'm happy you think of it as a teaser trailer. I love second person too. Nobody writes in it enough (including myself)!

Erin | Wed, 05/26/2010

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

*shivers!*

 Ooh... this was good!  

Actually ... the more I think about it, the more I like it! *shivers some more*

You know, this would make a fabulous prologue to a novel... (hint, hint)

Mary | Thu, 05/27/2010

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Brother: Your character should drive a motorcycle.
Me: He can't. He's in the wilderness.
Brother: Then make it a four-wheel-drive motorcycle!

Hahaha, thanks! I might try.

Hahaha, thanks! I might try.

Erin | Thu, 05/27/2010

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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