You Know You're Obsessed with Middle Earth when...

Fiction By Aredhel Írissë // 6/8/2014

1. You know you're obsessed with the Lord of the Rings when you have 2000 or more pictures of Frodo saved to you computer...
2. When dream about living in the Shire and Lothlorien and Valinor and Rivendell all at the same time...
3. When you have about 5000 pictures of Elf/Hobbit dresses you want to make...
4. When you actually make all of them...
5. When you beg your brother to buy fabric so that you can make him a Frodo costume...
6. When you end up getting your mom to buy that fabric that you lack so you can make it...
7. When you have saved to your computer a bunch of LOTR stuff you want to buy that would altogether cost you about $600....
8. When you end up paying $600 to get your hands on it...
9. When you want to yell, 'Aníron gen haded min noer Orodruin!' At Peter Jackson for having Frodo be a total jerk and tell Sam to go home, and then tell Jackson how much you love him for making the best book on earth into a movie...
10. When you can speak Sindarin and or Quenya and know what I said above without looking it up online...
11. When you can write in Tengwar...
11. When you know which letters in Tengwar stand for the letters of our alphabet..
12. When you can name all of the good guys (and girls :)) in LOTR...
13. When you spend hours trying to perfect your drawing of Gimli no matter how ugly he is...
14. When all of your online profile pictures and your google background is LOTR/Hobbit related...
15. When you have a birthday party only LOTR themed...
16. When your birthday cake looks just like Bilbo's Hobbit Hole...
17. When you look up recipes for Lembas bread and then make and eat it...
18. When you know the history of Middle earth better than the history of your country (That's me for ya!)...
19. When you read LOTR for the first time and are so addicted you can't ever stop reading it so you can read another book...
20. When you insist on being most Elf but have Hobbit blood in you, no matter how much your sisters say you're a dweeb for thinking such things...
21. When you say you are an adopted Elf...
22. When you take LOTR so seriously that you cry when Frodo leaves for Valinor...
23. When you drive your sisters insane talking about LOTR and make your brothers want to never hear the word 'Elf' again...
24. When you wear a golden ring around your neck and insist that it's the One Ring and you WILL throw it into 'Orodruin' one day...
25. When you quote LOTR 23/6 (the extra 1/1 is when you're quoting Studio C and ranting about what a flop the Desolation of Smaug was)...
26. When you insist Smaug is pronounced Smowg no matter how funny it sounds to you...
27. When you say, 'If there was any place you could be in Middle Earth, what would it be?' Practically everyday of your life...
28. When you know the age of Tolkien when he wrote LOTR...
29. When you know the birth date, death date, and age when died of Tolkien...
30. When you know how to spell Tolkien...
31. When you know what the initials JRR stand for...
32. When you wish the LOTR books and movies would never end, but can't wait until you finish it so you can re-read it...
33. When you yell to Jackson his mistakes even though he can't hear you...
34. When you watch LOTR and have the volume up all the way despite how much everyone else hates it...
35. When you listen to the LOTR soundtracks while you do the dishes...
36. When you are endlessly singing May It Be...
37. When you can sing practically every song with words in the entire movie...
38. When you know that Lothlorien was once called Laurelindorenan...
39. When you know how it's spelled...
40. When you know that Faramir didn't try to take the Ring in the book...
41. When you go from pronouncing Faramir like Fah-ruh-meer to pronouncing it like Fair-uh-meer because Frodo and Faramir pronounce it like that and it sounds super cool...
42. When you defend Frodo from your sisters even though they're on the right side sometimes...
43. When you get on the computer everyday and the first think you look up has to do with Middle Earth...
44. When you think endlessly and to no avail as to how Legolas was helpful to the Fellowship in the book because your sisters insist that he didn't need to be there because he didn't to anything actually useful...
45. When you want to slap your little siblings because everytime they come in while you're watching LOTR and it's paused at Sam and call him fat, while you insist he isn't, because you like him so much, even though you know it's true...
46. When you try to convince your sister that Haldir is fat because of how his cheeks jiggle when he gets hit by an Orc...
47. When you insist Merry and Pippin weren't being stupid when they tried to kill the Orcs after Boromir had given his life to save them...
48. When you cry every time Merry and Pippin save Frodo...
49. When you scream at the Orc that kills Boromir (only when you're alone) how much you hate him and want to kill him...
50. When you have nearly a whole half of a notebook written in Sindarin or Quenya and Tengwar...
51. When you know what University Tolkien was a proffessor of...
52. When you write LOTR quotes all over your math paper...
53. When you are willing to spend hours and hours drawing a map of Middle Earth...
54. When you can locate Erebor faster and easier than you can your own state...
55. When you try to convince your LOTR hating friends to be LOTR loving friends...
56. When you're torn between cutting you hair up to your shoulders and curling it so you look like a Hobbit, and leaving your hair waist- length so as to look like an Elf...
57. When you hope that there is a 'heart wrenching and tear jerking' scene in TABA in which Tauriel and Kili die side by side because you hate her so much because she wasn't supposed to be in TH...
58. When you make fun of Sam's hilariously fake British accent and go around saying, 'you're opeless'; and yet he's still your second favorite character...
59. When you know what the Quenya word 'Tengwar' means without looking it up...
60. When you accidentally memorize the introduction to FOTR.
61. When you spend hours perfecting your Gollum voice when you're alone...
62. And last but not least, you know you're obsessed with Middle Earth when you spend hours working on your British accent (also when you're alone).

Comments

Obsession is not a good thing

Obsession is not a good thing most of the time. Especially when it comes to The Lord of the Rings movie. And please. Please. Please tell me you have never considered cutting your hair that short. Oh wait. You already did. And did you really come up with all those? I think not, though perhaps you did. I can thankfully say I am not obsessed because I can only relate to a very few. And though I think Tolkien was a genius to plan that far ahead in a series that long, which is super awesome, I will never be 'obsessed'. I've read the books twice and Laura and I are reading them again together, but I hardly call that obsessed. And you are only on your second time, which I also hardly call obsessed. I think you just want to be, so you pretend. Or maybe it's just a passing fad like hardy boys. We shall see. By the way, only movie fans say Faramir wrong. You say it like far not fair. As can be seen by the spelling, otherwise it would be Fairamir. Which it ain't. And another thing is don't be obsessed with how good people look (like Frodo and Legolas) because if you're thinking that constantly you might be in for a sore disappointment when you get married to someone who's not Hollywood handsome. A few tips for the obsessed.
1. Don't fall in love with movie or book characters. It's just dumb.
2. Don't try to learn a language only used by fictional characters and nuts like yourself.
3. Don't spend all your time making costumes because you can't wear them constantly and therefore will have a wardrobe full of hardly ever used clothes. I think I've seen you wear your elf dress maybe all of three times.
4. Don't wish to be as short as a hobbit when you already are.
5. Don't say you like the movie as much as the book if you get upset when the movie maker alters away from the book because it's not true.
6. And last but not least, if you don't like this comment, don't go telling Ma or pa because I'll just tell them that you posted all over the internet that you're married to Frodo (little blackmail going on?)
And they might make you stop reading the books and watching the movies for a while. Don't live for fictional books and movies.

Live for God today and you will have no regrets tomorrow.

Westminster shorter catechism-
1. What is mans chief end?
A. Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

Not swoon when you see a handsome guy or talk constantly about how much you love the books and movies.
Sorry if this comes across wrong, but you kind of deserve it. Pa wouldn't want you to spend all your preteen years falling head over heels in love with fictional characters. Have a great day sweet sister. And may you grow up quickly. But not to quickly, because then I wouldn't have anyone to lecture and you wouldn't be my little cutie anymore.

Love, hugs and threats,
Emma

Emma Katherine | Thu, 07/03/2014

Check out my etsy shop!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/AmethystToGarnet

Emma,Firstly, I did not cut

Emma,
Firstly, I did not cut my hair that short to look like a Hobbit. These don't all apply to me, k? I mean, when's the last time I drew a picture of Gimli? And you make it sound like you don't trust ma's and pa' s judgment of what too short hair is for a girl. My hair length is perfectly fine.
Yes, I most certainly did come up with all of them.
And what in Middle Earth does reading LOTR only twice have to do with not being obsessed??? I mean, you have to start somewhere, don't you? Ever since the first time I read and watched them, I loved them. Ever since the first time I read them, I've been reading them. And why in Middle Earth would I pretend to be obsessed if I wasn't?
And it's like I've told you before: the Hardy Boys is not a passing fad! The only reason I haven't been reading them lately is because I don't have anymore, and I read nearly all of them three or more times.
Yes, I am a movie fan, and proud of it! Got a prob? 'Course ya do. But just see if I care!
I don't mind if my husband isn't Hollywood handsome! Can't I think a guy is handsome without not wanting to marry a man if he isn't handsome? No, it has nothing to do with his looks, only what he believes.
I do not fall in love with movie characters. I may even so far as to say, I 'love' them. But I don't mean it in the way that someone loves another person does enough to marry them.
And may I ask what's wrong with learning another language? It's perfectly fine. It may be sign of fangirlishness, but have cared way more about other stuff. I love the language. Tolkien invented it to go along with his books and his 'world' he created, and I may learn and speak if I so wish to do. Which I do.
I will keep right on making costumes, no matter how little, or how often, I wear them. I enjoy sewing, and I love making costumes. Oh, and may I add I do not spend nearly all of my time making costumes?
I am not as short as a Hobbit, darling. I may be short. But I. Am. Not as short as a Hobbit, got it? Rhyme not intended. But I did laugh when I read that, no matter how untrue it is.
I do like the movie as much as the book, and I shall continue doing so. I think some things PJ did were STUPID, but as I cannot decide whether I like the books or movies better, I do believe I like them equally.
Okay, I am not a big baby that goes off telling on people for such little things. I'm more insulted by that more than your whole comment. I do NOT post all over the internet that I'm married to Frodo. Unless NaNo is the whole internet. Boy, can you ever exaggerate! It's called being silly and having fun, not litterally being in love with a person that has never existed. The people on NaNo know that we who do stuff like that are only playing around, you silly goose. It's not sincere. :D
And I do not swoon. I never have. I never will. I do not 'constantly' talk about LOTR. Yes, I do it often, yet not constantly, for Pete's sake! There's a difference, believe it or not.
I don't spend all my preteen years falling 'head over heels' in love, mainly because I am not the least bit in love.
Have great day as well!
Love,
Hannah

Aredhel Írissë | Fri, 07/04/2014

Accidental double post!

Accidental double post! Ignore!

Aredhel Írissë | Fri, 07/04/2014

Thank goodness!

Thank goodness!

Emma Katherine | Fri, 07/04/2014

Check out my etsy shop!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/AmethystToGarnet

Does that mean you believe

Does that mean you believe me?

Aredhel Írissë | Fri, 07/04/2014

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