This is a story I wrote on the spur of the moment while chatting with some friends. It's supposed to sound like a little kid is telling the story. (did I ever mention that one of my nicknames is 'Handsome Toddler'? ;) )
I hope you enjoy this.. and I'm pleased to say that I do have another story in the works, which I hope to share with you soon.
wunsh erpon a time, long time ago
'dere wazh a wittle goil..
an' she wazh locked up in dish BIG tower.
she wazh locked up 'dere so long her hair grew down to the groun'
one day, bery bad thief name flynn rider come to tower
he think to self "'dis best pwace hide, good guys not find"
so he gwab his twusty spear
and stab it deep inter de tower.
'den he cwimb up to de top, and get in de tower.
he look awound but no see anybody, 'cuz 'punzel was hiding in de wafters..
'den he say to self "at wast, peace and qui-" BANG!
'punzel whack him on de back of head wid her frying pan.
down he go like eleven pin
an' 'punzel pick him up and stick him in chair an' wrap hair all awound him...
when he wake up, he stare straight in face of lizard
no, not lizard.. chamolo-.. chemeloe-.. cham....chameleon
he say to chameleon "my name is inigo montinez, you kill my father, prepare to die"
and wit' that he give him a smouwder worth seein'
but 'punzel keep eye on him, yank her hair an' he fall over on face
an' he have a cardiac arrest
so 'punzel call de wicket grandmudder
an' she say "he no live 'less you fin' de magic lantern"
an' 'punzel say to her "he not go 'less i come wid him"
an' de wicket grandmudder say "you not go, you my prisoner"
an' den 'punzel say "what long teet' you got grandmudder"
an' de wicket grandmudder say "all de more to eat 'ou wit' my dear"
and wit' dat, 'punzel grab flynn by de arm an' jump outta de tower
an' dey fall right into de arms o' de woodcutter.
de woodcutter, he say "show me de wolf" so dey point to de top o' de tower, den take off running
dey run an' dey run 'til dey outta breat'
den dey look aroun' an' see de magic lantern
so 'punzel lassoed de lantern wit' her hair and bring it to shore
an' 'punzel put de lantern over flynn's cardiac arrest, an' he all better now
so dey go off to town
an' knock on de door o' de preacher
but den dey realize dey ain't got a ring
so dey go to de piggy in de woods, but he alweady give ring to owl and pussy-cat
so dey go to de bull
an' he sell dem a ring for a pound o' grain
den dey go back to de preacher, but de king's guards waiting in front of door
so dey run around back
suddenly a big eart'quake shook de town an' a big hole opened up behin' de church
dey bot' fall in, but 'punzel manage to fling loop o' hair around de church steeple, an' flynn grab chameleon's arm an' hang on
den de preacher come out an' say "do you swear to tell the trut' de whole trut' an' nuttin' but de trut'?"
an' flynn say "I do".. den de preacher say "I now pwonoun you man an' pwincess. flynn, you may now kiss de bwidesmaid"
an' flynn say "how kiss de bwidesmaid when i hanging by fingernail?"
an' chameleon say "ouuuuuUUUUCH!"
an de preacher haul dem up by 'punzel's hair an' set dem on a gwave
an' den flynn kiss 'punzel, but she slap him an' say "not in fwont of all de people"
and dey fell happily ever after.