Trust

A Poem By Heather Jones // 12/6/2018

My King, You once tasked me to keep my own heart.
I guarded each day, doing best my own part -
A soldier, imperial; e'er at the gate,
Knowing the pressure to keep clean the slate.

I watched and I waited for thieves in the night
To rid my heart's room of its brilliant light,
But no such thief came. I pondered, then musing
O'er this curious conundrum, rather confusing.

"Pardon me," said a voice, and I turned then to see
An old, weakened man, kneeled down on his knee -
His clothing was black, and his onyx eyes bright,
"Would it suit you if I were to stay for the night?"

He looked sick. He looked pale. I looked then to the door -
"Let no man inside, 'less he comes in the Lord."
I remembered those words. Still I sighed, closed my eyes,
And said to the man, "You may come inside."

Six more people came. I let them in, too -
Each time feeling guilty, not sure what to do.
Yet it wasn't 'til I commanded, "Now go back,"
That my light was snuffed out. And my heart faded black.

Words such as "terror" don't nearly convey
The sickening horror I felt on that day.
Screaming and wailing, I had fallen in
To the cold grip of death; the wages of sin.

Years later, I'm here. It's bleak, and it's dark.
I'm drowning in black, with no rights to an ark.
My God, I've no hope here. And it's all my fault.
I've shut myself up in a dark, empty vault.

The thieves are still here. They're cozied inside
The room of my soul, with no need to hide -
While I have spent eons, wasting away,
Outside the door; the wicked's weak prey.

O God, do you hear me? Do you see my pain?
Are you willing to rescue? Willing to save?
It's so hard to believe. Would you really be
So merciful to an old wretch such as me?

I want to adjust to Your brilliant light,
And no more be trapped in the darkest of night.
My soul longs for sunshine; it aches from the rain,
Beaten to mis'ry from years of the pain.

I don't deserve You. I know that's the truth -
I've known this one fact, way back to my youth,
But is that really the end of the story?
Is there a chance to still see You, in glory?

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