After A Day of Doubt

A Poem By Madeline // 5/3/2013

I ask, "Should I bleed out
For the sake of someone else?"
Or should I let them bleed
for the sake of myself?
Or maybe we both can bleed,
and it'll even out.
____________

God is there
sending me a four-bar signal
And a red cardinal feather
When I most need it it

God is within me
He's holding my heart
And he'll protect me;
I don't doubt

But right now
I need fresh air
I need him to give me a breath
Please
___________

Maybe I should just trust
What my mom once said
That I haven't made any mistakes
Because every mistake I've made
Worked out so that it wasn't a mistake
___________

Comments

These were very thought

These were very thought provoking and interesting to read. There were a couple of things that seemed a little weird:

I ask, "Should I bleed out
For the sake of someone else?"
Or should I let them bleed
for the sake of myself?
Or maybe we both can bleed,
and it'll even out.
^
This one was actually my favorite. I liked the images and I generally thought that it was awesome. The "and it'll even out" seemed awkward to me, for some reason. It didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the lines.

"Worked out so that it wasn't a mistake." I think that different wording might have fit in a little better. It seemed like mistake was said too many times.

Anyways, I liked these a lot! Keep posting!!

Erin | Sat, 05/04/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

:D

Ooh! These are good! I'd have to agree with Erin, the first one is my favorite! Great job!

Kassady | Sun, 06/02/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

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