An Alarming Amount of Poetry (Part the Seventh)

A Poem By Madeline // 9/4/2013

Compared to Others

You are so skinny sometimes
Like
Seriously, Dude

Speak My Mind

I can honestly say there is nothing I hate more
Than false hope
"Guess it's not a big deal when I drop the Xbox remotes"
"Yeah, but I pay for the phones."

Feels Like a Dream

People have no idea
They just have
No idea

Like Dad

You know what I just realized is
Some people take after their fathers
And that isn't always
The best thing

Half Full Heart

There are times I love them both so much and it's lovely wonderful
Others when I can't stop crying because
You wonder if two people are really meant to be anymore

Shaky

I turned to my computer screen and shut myself down
Twice now this is happened and I
Refuse to believe I am the cause of the problem
No one in their right mind would say things that have just been said
I won't hold my tongue and I won't regret the things I said
I will shrug my shoulders and move on and
Pretend accept an apology if it comes

A Gift Not On Christmas

This will tie up nicely like all the other times
A gentle little bow, perfect in its springiness
It'll coil back when I wrap my finger around it
If I give it a few tugs it won't come apart
Never does
We say things and then don't talk about it ever again
After the first or second time
I'm tired of not speaking I think I'm
Going to figure this out and dust
Every single corner
I won't wrap the box so tightly that it
Refuses to open

Fifty-Fifty

Already it doesn't feel like
A big deal anymore
I wonder if it's because it isn't or
Because I'm so used to this

Crush

Ha
Funny forced laugh
I'm too exhausted to
Even write about him

Excuse my Cursing

There are many parts of me that
Many people see
Fierce, stubborn, determined
Justdon'tgivea
dotadotadot
Comes out to family
And to friends I'm this
Funny girl
Which I find hilarious
I'll always ask them what's up and
Listen because I truly care
To strangers I'm
Average I guess
Until we start talking
Because everyone in the world is average
Until then

Arachnid Is Such A Revolting Word

Call it a truce
Whatever
I'll take that for now
I always feel like I overdo things
I see between the lines how maybe
I've spiderwebbed new arguments
A thousand tiny threads
Without meaning to
But my gracious do I hate spiders

Hesitant

Navy shirt long
And sheepish
Tilt downward of the head

Swings

Everything is better now
Than it was fifteen minutes ago
Moods are so abrupt
So gradual and temporary and
Absolute
I'm never sure which one to trust

Different Blurred Lines

It seems so easy
I am deceiving
Myself

Never Far From Wonderful

Sometimes it's hard
To remember
When we are the furthest from Wonderful
It seems we can get
That there were those moments when
Happiness came at us from all sides
No sharp corners to be had
And then we realize
It dawns even as
We feel like the hours have drained us
And deluded strength has taken its toll
We
You know
We are really
Never that far from wonderful

Somebody

Someone will always
Love me
Be it mom or
The cat who greets me with a cheerful meow late at night
God
Those people who don't always seem to
But they do

Thick band

Let's talk about his hands
How beautiful they
Those rings he wears are and
They're slim
Ha, unlike mine
They're probably not that different in size
(although, okay, they probably are)
I just needed to throw in some half-truth to rhyme

I Think I Know

Today felt a little surreal
Like I laughed a lot and
Courted YouTube for a good couple of
Hours
But I figure it's not exactly a time waste because
I did dishes like three times
And ended the day with coffee
Talked to my friend
While playing Black Ops Zombies
(always good for bonding) and
You know, I think I'm happy

Ice Cubes

I hate how
Cold he's been
The past few days
A cruel look has
Set in across his face
Obviously something's off because
Gosh--it's exhausting to me
I just hope that tomorrow will finally
Bring some sense of peace and he will be
Back to who he usually is
We can't seem to get inside his head
And I feel grounded compared to him which is
In itself
All kinds of crazy

The Thrilling Part

Introductions would be the best
"Hey, I'd like you to meet _____"
What fun that ownership would be
Pardon my rampant imaginings

I Wrote This In Purple Ink

It's okay now
Really
All the sudden I just felt better
About absolutely everything

guess who

Em ay
dee dee
iuh ehee
is me

Nice to Meet You

I can change my name
Be anything I'd like
That's the power of being online
Yet I'd like
To put more truth out there
The word is in desperate need of it

He'd Be Hilarious

Little nuances
A nudge, poke
Quick pull of the face
Under breath whisperings
Every day I find myself wanting more
To be your friend

Chickened Out

Smudgy fuel is irrelevant so
Let's let my pen forget
About him

Exciting Things

This year I am going to do it
I just know it
Something monumental and
Ultimately life-changing

You're, like, the funniest person ever

My sense of humor is very dry
Self-deprecating in places and
Unfailingly sarcastic
I think he'd find he'd like it

Darker Still

paint a yellow wall to
masquerade as sunshine on
those lovely good-smell rainy days

Red Move Theater Blanket Time

That was a good night I
stepped into the downpour
And hurried up the porch
Wild and delicious with shivering
Slipping into a soft shirt
Wrapping my legs in a blanket
Was just beyond lovely
I want another day like that I just
I need it

Pleasant

I feel my lips stretching
Warm with poetry-induced memories
It feels good to feel so good

Staking My

Oh, but if I had everything
Beauty and allure
The perfect voice
I mean, I do have feet that
Don't look as if they're being choked
When in heels
(although, to be fair
everyone's seem to except mine)
Then perhaps I'd claim
His eyes

Fruit Really

I imagine us
Milling about
Ripe with age but
We'll still be in love enough
To kiss

Shaker

hearts are falling
they taste of pepper
spicy, dark
bold with flecks of
something stunning

Hit Me

I can't help but wonder if I've made him into a character
Honestly, truthfully, brutally
I will never know him
So maybe I've chosen him because it's easy inspiration
Added characteristics I think I see but just aren't there
Being more brutal still
The boy likes blondes
Which is never going to happen and
The boy is miles and miles above me
Although probably not in maturity and
The boy may be funny
But he could also be the type of in-person weirdo who
I wouldn't have given a second thought to
Who knows what about this boy is fact or fiction
Your guess is as good as mine
This boy's always going to be my favorite character
And I guess he was worth it if it gave me something to write

Comments

Honestly?

I love them! I've been loving them, and I can tell that you're loving them too! Some of these were a bit confusing, they didn't make sense, I'm sure they did to you, and that's what makes poetry the best!
I really loved "Excuse my Cursing" and "Exciting Things" probably my favorites, definitely made me smile.
WANT MORE!!! Please.

Kassady | Wed, 09/04/2013

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Thank yooooou awesome

Thank yooooou awesome bestfriend extraordinaire!

Madeline | Wed, 09/04/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Great job, as usual! I LOVE

Great job, as usual! I LOVE Fruit Really, Shaker, Feels like A Dream, and Darker Still. I really relate to Ice Cubes. LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW SERIOUSLY. I totally get writing all of the poetry being a release. I'm really not writing fiction anymore-all of my poetry is basically autobiographical (except for some things, of course. It's a bit exaggerated, too). Awesome job.

Erin | Thu, 09/05/2013

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

I don't know if someone's

I don't know if someone's already said this, because I've been reading the poetry but don't have time to read the comments, but here are my two cents.
So you have a lot of poems in this collection, and most of them are around 5 lines long and have common themes. It leaves me wondering why they aren't combined into longer, single poems. That would take more effort, true - free verse isn't just chopping sentences into paragraphs. You might find it hard to get a few of these into the same free verse rhythm together. But I think that experience would ultimately be rewarding and make better poems. Ya know what I'm saying?

Anna | Fri, 09/06/2013

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

:)

Ditto to Anna. I agree.

Speak My Mind: I laughed. It was funny; and I don't know why.
Like Dad: This is good. I realize that I take after my dad a lot. And its not always a good thing.
Shaky: This is awesome. And the reader FEELS shaky.
Excuse my Cursing: "Everyone in this world is average" love it
Arachnid Is Such A Revolting Word: This is so good! "But my gracious do I hate spiders" Same here, same here.
Swings: Yes. I am a very mood swing and its horrible though it does have its benefits. Described perfectly.
Never Far From Wonderful: Amazing.
I Think I Know: :)
Exciting Things: I love the feeling you gave in the poem.
Darker Still: LOVE this. Paint a wall yellow...why not?
Red Move Theater Blanket Time: Very nice and cozy.
Staking My: The imagery you give the reader is crazy.
Shaker: I really like this. Great job!
Hit Me: Dye your hair blonde, is all I'm going to say, Homey. (when I say that, you should know I'm kidding and being sarcastic)

And there is my feedback, if you could call it that. :P

Maddi | Mon, 09/09/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thank you, girls! :)

Thank you, girls! :)

Erin--Thank yooooou. I so get what you mean, about the fiction thing. I just started a new story yesterday, but it's the most inspiration I've had novel-wise for what feels like a reeeeeeeeeally long time. :P Thanks so much!

Anna--For me personally the reason I haven't done that is because I write them sporadically, all at different times, whatever lines come into my head. Sometimes I write upwards of four or five at a time in one sitting, which would explain the common themes. Thank you for your comment! :)

Maddi--Thank yoooooooou very much! I really appreciate you giving me such lovely feedback. :) And as for the blonde: NO. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. SO DO NOT HAVE THE COMPLEXION FOR IT. That would be a scary sight! haha.

Thanks, girls! You guys are wonderful!

Madeline | Mon, 09/09/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

:)

Welcome!

Okay. I WAS only kidding anyway. :)

I have a huge request. I am absolutely DYING for more of...REACHING RACHEL. Or Rooting, or whatever.
Please? *down on hands and knees*

Maddi | Mon, 09/09/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

I know, haha! :D Oh, you are

I know, haha! :D

Oh, you are so sweet! Thank you and you're awesome! I only have a little bit so far (I actually just started another story...I know, I know...I have story ADD). I don't know when I'll finish the chapter so since you asked I can just give you what I have here. :) (and thank you for asking! You are so awesome! Thank you for commenting and reading my work!)
__________________________________

Portsmouth High School was, in summary, like every other school. The only difference from my old one was the kids, the teachers, and the distinct smell of the ocean in the air—so light it was practically nonexistent.
Wilson flagged be down between English and Science, obviously excited about something judging from the way he was grinning and wildly waving. I clutched my messenger bag to my side as I hesitantly walked over.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, Rachel.”

“Hi. What do you want?”

He ignored my blunt tone of voice (as most everyone did) and smiled wider. “Jason’s back.”

“I’m aware. I’m his neighbor.” Friend. Girlfriend? Ugh.

“No, no. Jason’s here.”

“What? He is?” He had told me they wouldn’t be coming until later. I turned away, searching for a way to hide the confusion on my face. How come Wilson knew this but not me?

“He told me to find you and tell you. He can’t, because he’s been with the guidance counselor all morning. He says we can meet up at lunch.”

I felt slightly less second best. “Okay.”

Wilson nodded at me. “Okay back. Catch you later.”

“Later.”

He slid into the crowd of students migrating to their next, boring class and I took a moment to breathe, leaning against the lockers. I really needed to work on my multiplying insecurities.

Ugh again.

______________

It wasn’t hard to find Jason at lunch. He was surrounded by all his friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends who just wanted to get in on the “Cool” Crowd action. And now—finally seeing it with my own eyes, for the first time ever—there was no doubt about it. Jason was popular.

I was a bit shocked by this, to be honest. He was so introverted and brooding. Not the type of kid who played sports and was friendly to everyone. But girls liked that, right? The deep, speculating type?

According to past history, I sure did. And so did the rest of the female school population.

I grabbed the day’s lunch and stood by the trashcans for a moment, debating whether to go over there or find my own table. It would be extremely embarrassing if Jason was all cool and friendly with me, like we weren’t connected so deeply. But that made me sound melodramatic.

“Excuse me?”

“Hm?”

I half-turned around to face a familiar girl with springy, brown-black girls and eyes to match. I moved out of her way, thinking that was what she wanted, but she stepped along with me.

“Are you Rachel?”

“Yeah…”

“Awesome! I’m Ayesha. Nice to meet you.”

Her face suddenly made sense, once paired with a name, and I felt my muscles relax. “Oh. You too.” She was the girl Kerry had said hi to when we were going out the other night.

“Yeah. I’m Kerry’s friend. Well, ish.”

“Friend ish?”

“I’m Lila’s older sister.”

“No kidding?”

“Yep.” She drew a deep breath and let it out. “You know Lila, of course.”

“Sort of. I met her a few times over the summer.”

We paused as some girls passed us, chattering excitedly. I frowned as they beelined toward Jason.

“I had no idea he was such a hit.” I muttered darkly.

Ayesha snorted. “I think this is more Wilson’s doing than Jason.”

I was surprised. “You know them?”

She took a french fry off her tray, which was balanced on one long, smooth arm. “We went to Kindergarten together. Of course.” She pointed it in his direction and rolled her eyes. “I know Wilson. He totally organized this. Everyone’s making a huge deal out of it. So what? So he was gone to a shrink for, like, five weeks. Big deal.”

“How did you know about it?”

“Kerry told Lila who told me. Lila’s such a bigmouth, I swear. Anyway.” She finally popped the suffering fry into her mouth and made a face. “God, this tastes awful.”

“It’s school lunch.”

“The elementary lunch was killer. There’s no excuse.”

I stared a bit more in their direction. Ayesha noticed.

“Want to go over there?”

I curled my fingers hard around my tray. “Not particularly.”

“Oh, come on. It’s fine.”

Oh, Gosh. I was acting like one of those girls. The shy kind who is afraid to assert herself for fear of calling attention to anything she does. Yuck.

I took off without any warning, leaving Ayesha in my wake. She hurried to catch up, which couldn’t have been easy in her leather wedges. I was in converse. A child, practically.

As I got closer, I was able to pick out Wilson’s voice. A ton of girls’. And no Jason.

I pushed past a strawberry blonde in her cheerleading uniform to get to the center of the crowd. Jason was sitting there, slowly eating his sandwich, as tons of people crowded around him. They flirted and threw out questions and were generally annoying. He saw me, though, and his whole demeanor brightened.

“Rachel! Hi. Come sit here.”

_______________

And that is literally it. No joke! *sighs sadly* I hope posting this here wasn't pretentious. :P I feel like I owe it to you since you asked! Thank yoooou! :D
-Homey

Madeline | Mon, 09/09/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

re:combining poems

Oh yeah, I get that. I still think it's worth considering, though. I know I put my poems through a few different drafts, but that's because I'm usually personally dissatisfied, so... :)

Anna | Tue, 09/10/2013

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

*squeals*

Oh my GOSH! Thank you so much! I was totally surprised and excited and just completely in MY ELEMENT. THANKS!
And keep at it! Yeah, you definitely have story ADD. (don't worry...I think I might just have a little bit of NORMAL ADD.)
:D

Maddi | Wed, 09/11/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

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