bated

A Poem By Madeline // 2/5/2013

i watched from a perch atop the woods
waiting; bated breath
until the quaking of the ground
sung out their presence
fell the tufts of fur in showers
clinging to my skin
my impulses forced one foot forward
my heart thundered with sin
i knew it would be wrong to leap
and solder them to fates
but the wolves, so free and without care
tempted my persuades
i pushed off of the known terrain
arms in frigid flight
crashed into a swift body
and rolled off in its plight
and i almost—almost—didn’t reach
up in time to stop
but i did, felt a taunt neck
which loosened by default
holding on, i used my strength
to pull myself upright
and with wind in my hair, dirt in my eyes
we sailed off in the night

Comments

:)

I really like the feel of this. Well done!
Only one thing: this line - "i pushed off of my the known terrain" is a bit confusing! It looks like you edited it but left some remains (I could probably be famous for doing that; I do it ALL the time).

The 13th is only a week away! It felt so far away when you posted the pitch! But it's not that far! :)

Kyleigh | Wed, 02/06/2013

Hi Kyleigh! :) Yes--that's

Hi Kyleigh! :)

Yes--that's exactly what I did. LOL! I fixed it. Thanks for pointing that out! And for reading this.

I know! It's so crazy how quickly time goes by. We'll see...I'm hoping I can make it through! If not, I'll certainly try next year or maybe even seek publishing elsewhere. :)

Thanks for being such a great Reaching Rachel supporter!! I appreciate it.
-Homey :)

Madeline | Wed, 02/06/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Okay!!

I like this!!

And good good luck!! I'm holding my breath too--can't wait to find out whether R.R. makes it!!

(for some reason un-known to me, I am using double exclamation marks....what the heck!!? Oh dear, I did it again.)

But excellent portray of feelings in the poem, Homey!!! (och, three that time!!!)

Maddi | Wed, 02/06/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

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