Done/American Girl

A Poem By Madeline // 3/5/2014

Done

Darkness falls in the form
Of a haunting smile
Eyes downcast, downplayed
"I'm fine, okay? All right?"
And there in the painstaking careful
Molded plastic edges
Seethed a truth as deep as any
Brought to fruition in quiet dredges
You turned away your brown-milk eyes
At the ready with a woven reply
That, conjoined with trepidation
Sliced through the denial, emitted a staccato sigh
"What's done is done"
You told me once
I look at you now
And I see that you're done

American Girl

Made up and brought up
With arms to the sky
A glimpse of something stomach-twisting
In a pleasant sort of sigh
And skimmed with morning sunlight
Draped in swaths of black
Bright and keen to take the world
The post pure of attacks
See it in an arc of growth
A subtle hint of strength
Crossed in a protective stance
Reveals this one's true place

Comments

:)

I love the first one, the wording of both is fabulous! I didn't understand your use of "women" I thought it should have probably been "woman" but I might not have understood the line correctly.
Want more!

Kassady | Wed, 03/05/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Thank you! And thanks for

Thank you! And thanks for pointing that out! It was actually supposed to say "woven" but muscle memory made "women". LOL

Madeline | Wed, 03/05/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

I like these, especially the

I like these, especially the second one. At the end of the first, I thought that the use of the word done was a little redundant since you had just used the same word a couple of lines back. I like the rhythm in both!

Erin | Thu, 03/06/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Great word choice, Homey! I

Great word choice, Homey! I especially liked the first one. I like the repetition of done, that's my opinion anyway. :) I've posted a few poems myself, if you could give feedback on them, that'd make my day!

Maddi | Thu, 03/06/2014

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

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