I might've

A Poem By Madeline // 10/2/2016

I might've seen you
lying on the grass
But I passed
The sun shone on you
As you reclined back
But that was all
I could catch.

And the leaves were crisping golden
At their edges
Rusty, choked
Like the paint flaked off my nails
Clinging to your coat

For once upon a time
I'd have been
Straddling your lap
Brushing the fall
From the strands of your hair
Watching while you laughed

Stripes
and kites
and sweaters
Decorate that scene
And the kids with their
Chalk and chatter
Took more than
A glance
from me

Breath broken up
Lungs thick with chill
A thermos to my lips

Your hand on my thigh
Teeth straight, mouth pursed
Eyes tightened in a squint

And for a moment
As the swing arced high
I was the little one
Holding on tight

Legs too short, barefoot
Shoes kicked off
To the dirt
And my gaze, so wide
At the blotted blue sky
That the whites started
To burn.

And then I have stopped
At the corner
Red sign
That nail polish
Again
And the place where you told me
Someday
Hangs
In the periphery
With you in it

So I twist my neck
Back around, and my hands
Plunge into my peacoat
Rough tweed
But the sky is not bright
Like that one day
It's grey
And to want you's not what
Someday means.

Comments

Ugh, I love this. It's so

Ugh, I love this. It's so fall (my favorite season!).

And then I have stopped
At the corner
Red sign
That nail polish
Again
And the place where you told me
Someday
Hangs
In the periphery
With you in it

This is so lovely and potent.

Erin | Sun, 10/02/2016

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Stripes and kites and

Stripes
and kites
and sweaters
Decorate that scene
And the kids with their
Chalk and chatter
Took more than
A glance
from me

This is gorgeous. Best. Verse. Ever. I think I'm in love ...lol busy seriously. This is my favorite bit of poetry I've read from you. :)

Damaris Ann | Mon, 10/03/2016

My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬

Oh my Gosh!!!

Oh my Gosh!!! HOMIE!!! Like seriously. . . . . I have no words! This is definitely my favorite piece of poetry from you! My favorite lines are:

And the leaves were crisping golden
At their edges
Rusty, choked
Like the paint flaked off my nails
Clinging to your coat

That imagery is so vivid, and your word choice so perfect! I love, love, love, this! My only tiny complaint is that I lost the rhythm at the very end of the poem. It flowed like water until I hit:

And to want you's not what
Someday
Means.

I think that line "And to want you's not what" is maybe too long and complicated. Perhaps break it up to:

And to want you
is not what
Someday
Means.

Just a suggestion :) Fantastic job!!

Wings of Eternity | Tue, 10/04/2016

"Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

Such strong imagery, the

Such strong imagery, the flaking nail polish... I LOVED "crisping golden".

And this:

"And to want you's not what
Someday
Means."

!!! Just made me go UGHHH. You basically just summed up the emotional punch of the poem in the simplest and fewest of words, which was amazing!

Sarah Bethany | Wed, 10/05/2016

Wow, thank you guys!

Wow, thank you guys! Wings--yeah, I definitely see what you mean! I think I'm actually going to stick the last two words together on the same line...I feel like that might be the issue. We shall see!

As always, <3 for your support!

Madeline | Fri, 10/07/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

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