King I, II

A Poem By Madeline // 11/30/2015

King - I

You with your dizzying
lackadaisical demeanor and
the way you spread your
hands when you speak
Motioning
conducting every measured
quick-witted remark that
spins from your teeth
purposefully and
I can hear your voice and
know the way your face and lips
will curve on certain words
even the ones I make up
that have never been released
Is this
Sickness
or infatuation or
Neither, I suppose
Since I've settled into this unsettled
Indifferent in-between
A back-and-forth bickering
Internally
Where it could go either way
Depending on the day
For me to wish you to be
my King

King II

Sometimes I return for a look-see and
Just a handful of split-second smiles
Brought on by you
because
Your happiness glows from your skin
You are radiant
And it catches my eyes by surprise
Every time
until the
Awe is going stale in my throat
But from three years
It's this I know
That you don't ever go
And that I can push and shove and
Hiss and claw
Until you're cornered in my mind
But for that knee-jerk grin
And hopelessness
I go back every time

Comments

These are wonderful--fast

These are wonderful--fast paced and exciting to read. You bounce through images with a remarkable energy.

"You with your dizzying
lackadaisical demeanor and
the way you spread your
hands when you speak...
I can hear your voice and
know the way your face and lips
will curve on certain words" I could just envision this person.

"Just a handful of split-second smiles
Brought on by you
because
Your happiness glows from your skin
You are radiant
And it catches my eyes by surprise
Every time
until the
Awe is going stale in my throat." Your images are very unique to you. The word choices you make aren't something I would typically think of putting together. (i.e. Awe and stale). These are actually some of my favorites by you!

Erin | Tue, 12/01/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Aw, Erin, thank you! I am

Aw, Erin, thank you! I am grinning SO BIG right now! These are huge compliments coming from you with your fabulous and transcendent poetry--haha--so it means a lot!

Madeline | Tue, 12/01/2015

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Love them Homie :)

Love these Homie! I agree with Erin, the imagery is fabulous! I also agree with what she says that your word choices are very unique and not put together in the way most people would think to put them together.

"And that I can push and shove and
Hiss and claw
Until you're cornered in my mind
But for that knee-jerk grin
And hopelessness
I go back every time "

That is brilliant! I love the wording that shows the internal fight. It was a fantastic ending to a great two poems :)

My favorite lines are:
"You with your dizzying
lackadaisical demeanor and
the way you spread your
hands when you speak
Motioning
conducting every measured
quick-witted remark that
spins from your teeth"

I mean "spins from your teeth"? How cool is that! I love, love, love that imagery! Keep it up :)

Wings of Eternity | Tue, 12/01/2015

"Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

Oh, thank you so much! It is

Oh, thank you so much! It is SO good to get a comment from you--how have you been? Your comments always make me smile, and this was no different! I absolutely loved getting them when I was younger and can still remember how excited and happy I was. Thank you for your support!

Madeline | Tue, 12/01/2015

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Aw, man - those last three

Aw, man - those last three lines really got me. Totally felt it in my gut. Rings with such truth. Awesome job on both...

Sarah Bethany | Tue, 12/01/2015

:)

I enjoyed reading this - the way you structured it let me flow seamlessly to the end. It's almost like bringing me on a journey - and I feel like that's something special about your poetry. My favorite is the 1st one.

Lucy Anne | Sat, 12/12/2015

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Homie :)

So sorry for the late reply to your comment, but I have been incredibly busy :) I am so excited to have watched your writing grow! You have gotten so much better that it is just amazing! I can't wait to see what else you come up with :)
As for me, I have been well. I have made some new dietary changes and have been feeling a lot better :) Thanks for asking! I have been praying that you have been doing well in your classes and keep up the fantastic writing!

Wings of Eternity | Wed, 12/16/2015

"Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

GUYS! I just got an email

GUYS! I just got an email that the first poem, King I, is going to be published in Teen Ink! I don't know if you guys have heard of that magazine before, but I am so excited. Thank you for all of your support!

Madeline | Mon, 01/11/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Wow. That's awesome!

Wow. That's awesome! Congrats!

Damaris Ann | Mon, 01/11/2016

"It is the small temptations which undermine integrity unless we watch and pray and never think them too trivial to be resisted."
-Luisa May Alcott

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