My First Writing "No" (Teen Dating...)

An Essay By Madeline // 1/23/2012

I write for our local magazine. It's been pretty fun, and I was asked to include another article in this season's addition. Well, I wanted to write an article on teen dating. I think it's something widely universal nowadays, and I wanted to include not only my opinion but the opinion of others. I think it's so important for teen voices to be heard.

The editor of the magazine hemmed and hawwed, telling me that she didn't think the teen's opinions should be included, because she would need permission from the parents. I told her I'd only be using the teen's first names and ages. Not very revealing, as there is more than one seventeen year old "Anna" in the world.

Well, she emailed me this morning, and told me not only was she not going to run the article this time, but she didn't want me to write for this issue at all. I was upset, of course, but I moved past it quickly. I contacted the editor of our local paper, and he said he'd at least read the article, for which I was thankful. Then...and yes...sadly, there is a then, he found out that the magazine editor had refused my article and changed HIS mind. Ugh!!

I've learned a lesson from all of this, and it's the fact that sometimes people won't understand you. They'll tell you no. You'll be told this more than once, so it's important to be able to hold your head high and move on. Don't give up. Try to find another way to achieve your dreams. Because if there's a person who told you no, somewhere out there, there's a person who'll say, "yes!" 

Well, while I'm at it, if you'd like to be included in the article...I'd love for you to answer the following questions in the comments!! I'm going to try to include all the opinions in the article, which I will post on here. I will use whatever name you give me, but I will need to use your age. Here are the questions: 

1. Have you started dating yet? If so, when did you start dating?

2. Are you currently in a relationship with anyone? If so, how long have you been with that person?

3. What is YOUR definition of dating? (ex, what do you do on dates, what do you think of it...so on and so forth.)

If you believe in courtships, let me know, and substitue that instead of dating. Thank you!! :D 

-Homey :)

Comments

. Have you started dating

. Have you started dating yet? If so, when did you start dating?

Never dated.

2. Are you currently in a relationship with anyone? If so, how long have you been with that person?

No

3. What is YOUR definition of dating? (ex, what do you do on dates, what do you think of it...so on and so forth.)

Dating is when two people decide to mutually pursue a relationship beyond friendship.

 

Julie, 19

Julie | Sun, 02/05/2012

Formerly Kestrel

1. I started dating when I

1. I started dating when I was 13, against my parents wishes, and I regret it.  At 13 you're not really old enough to know what you're doing, and I nearly did some very stupid things.

2. Not at the moment.

3. Dating: two people like each other and decide to go on dates to see if they're compatible.  In my opinion, people should never be in open relationships - it's just a disaster waiting to happen.

Bridget, 18

Bridget | Sun, 02/05/2012

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

Thanks, guys!!

Thanks, guys!! Loved your thoughts. :D

-Homey ;)

Madeline | Sun, 02/05/2012

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

 Here's maybe a little

 Here's maybe a little different view. ;) 
 

1. I have never dated, and never will - will explain that more later.
2. Nope. 
3. Our family does more of the courtship thing, and thanks for asking for a definition - because it's really needed. What courtship means to us is that a guy expresses interest to marry a girl and he goes to her father. If the father thinks the guy and the girl will be equally yoked (meaning similar convictions and vision/goals in life) and the guy's character is trustworthy - then another stage will follow, and this looks different for everyone. It doesn't always have to be a specific stage, some couples would probably know right away, others it might take time to do "dominion research" and see if they're suited for one another and can further the Kingdom of God together and if they're the best ones to help each other. 
It's an intentional phase that says "We'd like to get married but want to know if it's the Lord's will and if we're equally yoked." 

Kyleigh | Sun, 02/05/2012

Great!!

Thank you. I especially love having a few courtship views to feature in my article. It definitely offers a different perspective, and one that seems to not be as "popular" as regular dating. I appreciate it! I have a friend who will also do a courtship, and I really enjoy certain aspects of it. :D 

For your age, are you 18?? And may I use "Kyleigh" when putting your opinion in the article? (if I can.) Thanks! 

Madeline | Sun, 02/05/2012

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Dating.

1. Have you started dating yet? If so, when did you start dating?

I started dating when I was 17.

2. Are you currently in a relationship with anyone? If so, how long have you been with that person?

I have been dating my one and only boyfriend for a year, a month, and four days.

3. What is YOUR definition of dating? (ex, what do you do on dates, what do you think of it...so on and so forth.)

They way Colin (my boyfriend and I) date is very, very much closer to most peoples' definition of courtship. We both knew when we started dating that we were doing so with the object in mind of eventual marriage, if it worked out that way.
We do not really go on 'dates.' Mostly we hang out with his family. I eat dinner with them nearly every night, since I do not have a family of my own I talk to his parents for advice, go on vacations with them, go to church with them, go to youth group with them, go to family reunions with them, and et cetera.
We are not alone very often and I like it that way. 95% of our interactions at LEAST are in groups of people. I love him very much and plan to marry him someday. Personally, I think our 'brand' of dating is a very healthy, good way to do so. We get lots of (somtimes un)solicited advice from long-married couples, our relationship and interactions are always under observation from especially his parents, and they do not hesitate to give us advice when they think we need it.
Everyone needs accountability, and we have lots of it!
 

Colin probably would have asked my dad if he could date me - if I had one. We did start dating against my mother's wishes (she still denies that we are in a relationship) but as she was an abusive mother and kicked me out of the house (for reasons unrelated to my relationship) four months later, so I have no regrets about that. She had given up her rights as my mother years before that happened.

If I could change anything about our past year+ of being together, I would tell my younger self to for heavens sakes not let hormones get the better of me. And also to go to counseling.

I think teen dating is dangerous, frankly. Hormones are raging, kids are dumb, they aren't ready to be married for years yet, and did I say kids tend to be dumb? Well, they do! It takes a huge amount of self control to be appropriate sometimes, especially on the times when I came home after being gone for more than a month.

We both recognize these things, and have a pact; if we do something innapropriate, we will recognize that we are not mature enough to be in that kind of relationship at the time, and will break up.
So far that (plus lots of extra prayer, time with God and accountablility partners) have helped immensely.

Sarah | Mon, 02/06/2012

"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca

Blogging away!
busyscribbler.wordpress.com

:)

 Whoops, forgot to put that. :) Yes, Kyleigh is fine, and I am 18.

After reading Sarah's comment I'll add that much of the interaction in our view of courtship is group interaction, though there are times for one-on-one discussion. 

Kyleigh | Mon, 02/06/2012

1. Have you started dating

1. Have you started dating yet? If so, when did you start dating?

I haven't dated anyone yet.

2. Are you currently in a relationship with anyone? If so, how long have you been with that person?

Nope.

3. What is your definition of dating?

I think that people start dating when they feel like they could be in love with the other person, but want to see if they are compatible. It's finding out about each other beyond friendship.

Molly, 15

Erin | Wed, 02/08/2012

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Thank you

Thank you everyone for your replies! :) I'm just starting to peice the article together. I'll keep you up-to-date on it's progress. If you're just seeing this now, and would like to reply, feel free to do so! :D I'm on no specific deadline of any sorts, and I'm always open to including more opinions.

Thanks! 

-Homey :)

Madeline | Wed, 02/08/2012

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Navigation

User login

Please read this before creating a new account.