Sunkist

A Poem By Madeline // 4/20/2016

Sunkist smile
Orange mouth, tongue
Dimples dive deep
Into your cheeks
When I joke about the
Length
Of your limbs
To which
You unfurl with a shrug
And with rhapsodic wit
Slingshot quips with the rhythm
Of a drum.

Later we are mesmerized
By fireflies
Hovering in the night
Thick as thieves with
Cicadas and
Crickets and
Moonbeams
You comment on the way that they
Lead by their own light
While I study the shadows
Fainting into your jaw
And the nine-thirty breeze becomes
More of a thaw.

We end under the drone of
Shoes on sidewalks
Palms brushing
Nerves clutching
And bearing down
On our backs
I relax
Upon your shoulder
The smolder sweeps
Over my skin
March and lions
As all the untold truths of
What I want that hasn't been
Blows down my neck
Mixed with your breath
When you pull me in
Chaste and quick
At once you're reckless, smiling as
I'm kissed

Comments

Oh, my gosh. I'm

Oh, my gosh.

I'm swooning.

Your poetry is at the point where I read it like my favorite poets -- with a lot of trust. Where I just know I'm going to enjoy everything and the next line is going to be so good. "Dimples dive deep / Into your cheeks" -- was where I first just let myself be pulled into the current. Then I just kinda drowned. "Rhapsodic wit"! And "THICK AS THIEVES WITH / CICADAS"!! AHHHhhh! And "smolder" and "shadows / fainting into your jaw". And, oh, "lion" and "chaste" were so unexpected and some of my cherries on the top.
Reading this was an experience. Thank you for that. I lost a bit of consciousness with it. :P
And the final whoosh at "at once you're reckless"!!!

Sarah Bethany | Wed, 04/20/2016

:)

It is the absolute nicest thing to come around once in a while and read the most beautiful words--its so refreshing you haven't a clue! Ah this was such a lovely mixture of words and phrases and rhythm, I just embraced the words I didn't even have to think. No interruptions in flow--thats amazing :)

Maddi | Wed, 04/20/2016

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

GIRLS, can you see my grin?

GIRLS, can you see my grin? Because they can in outer space! Wooooow, thank you so much, I can't even tell you. I've been smiling since reading your comments. How lovely, and generous coming from two skilled writers. Encouragement is always sooooo appreciated, and the fact that you took the time to comment on specific things is such a treat!

Madeline | Wed, 04/20/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

You deserve the best kind of

You deserve the best kind of encouragement :)

"two skilled writers" Pffffttttt. Sarah Bethany can take any of my credit haha
I'm glad we made you grin though :)

Maddi | Wed, 04/20/2016

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

This is beautiful! As I have

This is beautiful! As I have told you, I cannot believe (from personal experience) how this feels so real! It's just so well done and tender! It was sweet like Sunkist soda, and it was bright as well!
I really love this:
"You unfurl with a shrug
And with rhapsodic wit
Slingshot quips with the rhythm
Of a drum."
And of course the last few lines of the whole poem is perfect!!!! It feels so deliciously detailed but at the same time perfectly secret and private.... I love it!

Kassady | Mon, 04/25/2016

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

This is beautiful! As I have

This is beautiful! As I have told you, I cannot believe (from personal experience) how this feels so real! It's just so well done and tender! It was sweet like Sunkist soda, and it was bright as well!
I really love this:
"You unfurl with a shrug
And with rhapsodic wit
Slingshot quips with the rhythm
Of a drum."
And of course the last few lines of the whole poem is perfect!!!! It feels so deliciously detailed but at the same time perfectly secret and private.... I love it!

Kassady | Mon, 04/25/2016

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

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