Surrealism

A Poem By Madeline // 4/14/2016

Poised at the precipice
of surreality
and dreams
it's like those mumbo-jumbo
hazy hallucination
paintings
with clouds curling
out of nostrils
and grass
teeming with
debris--
pantomiming
symbols of
a forged
reality
But at the same time it's
artistic it is
also
literary
evocative
of all the
nostalgic
childhood
memories
a chapter-ending
with a clap
of covers
and a hand
reaching for a fresh tale
that will
take
me to
new lands
where dry spells are chased by
rain
and I'm left to my own
terms
I wonder what it takes to make
it in
an adult
world
So I don't know
don't ask me
what the next
several months hold
I'm scared
and sad
honestly
at the time time
I feel pulled
toward something
bright and beautiful
something that's all mine
And until then
I'll return
to the dreamlike canvas
rife
with monsters of
imagination
curlicue desires
all the tortured
artists pined for
like I'm
pining
just for
mine

Comments

Obviously!

I absolutely and obviously love this!!! Obviously because it's spectacular and who wouldn't love it?! Your words gripped me and kept me glued to your imagery.... Your wording is just awinspiring!
"reaching for a fresh tale
that will
take
me to
new lands
where dry spells are chased by
rain"

I really like this bit a lot! Maybe it just resonates in me.... But the imagery is perfect!

Kassady | Thu, 04/14/2016

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

This was pretty relatable. :)

This was pretty relatable. :) I love this part:

don't ask me
what the next
several months hold
I'm scared
and sad
honestly
at the time time
I feel pulled
toward something
bright and beautiful
something that's all mine

Damaris Ann | Thu, 04/14/2016

"It is the small temptations which undermine integrity unless we watch and pray and never think them too trivial to be resisted."
-Luisa May Alcott

This is lovely! One note:

This is lovely! One note: "with clouds etching". I'm not convinced that etching is the best word here. Etching tends to call to mind drawing or carving and I don't think that's what you're going for in this context.

Erin | Fri, 04/15/2016

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Thank you, ma'am! Etching is

Thank you, ma'am! Etching is what I wanted--the whole scene is supposed to liken to artists creating something, and although it's primarily painting, drawing came to mind--they definitely did rough sketches. Well, I mean, I think. *Googles time machine so I can go back and see for myself* It's kind of a sharp, jarring word, which in my mind fit with the odd imagery.

I appreciate the feedback! :)

Madeline | Sat, 04/16/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Okay, I gotcha! I probably

Okay, I gotcha! I probably should have put that together, haha, but I guess since it went from painting (which is softer) to etching it just kinda threw me off. Anyway I love this.

Erin | Sat, 04/16/2016

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

No, I love for you to point

No, I love for you to point things out! I'm deciding if I want to change it to curling, versus etching, to make it softer...I dunno! I always appreciate your comments, Erin, thank you! What do you prefer? Etching/curling??? I keep rereading it testing both...I like the alliteration with clouds/curling!

Madeline | Sat, 04/16/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

I prefer curling! I think it

I prefer curling! I think it fits better there.

Erin | Sun, 04/17/2016

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Me toooooo!!! Think I'll

Me toooooo!!! Think I'll change it! Thank you for the feedback, ma'am!

Madeline | Sun, 04/17/2016

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Navigation

User login

Please read this before creating a new account.