How to Talk to a Social Worker

Fiction By Jackie West // 7/10/2010

    (With the help of an older sister)......


What if a social worker asked to interview your siblings?

You say, "But why? They're not famous."

What if a social worker asks if your siblings get enough food every day?

You say, "They're still alive, so I suppose Mom feeds them at least one square meal a day."

What if a social worker asks if you and your siblings been examined by a psychologist?

You say, "No, and we won't need to. My  older brother is the best mental examiner in the world."

What if a social worker worries about your socialization?

You say, "I socialize with our two dogs, three cats, sixteen chickens, eight goats, seven horses, six pigs, four geese, five snakes, and our miniature pony..not to mention the friends that live in my head!"

What if a social worker asks what you do in your free time?

You say, "I babysit my six younger siblings, hang out with my four older siblings and my parents, and tort -I mean, work with the characters in my stories and in my head."

What if a social worker asks how well your parents educate you?

You say, "I suffered torturous Saxon math, crawled my way through history, dragged myself through English, and almost drowned in handwriting."

What if a social worker asks how often you go outside and exercise?

You say, "Oh, I don't need to. My parents don't mind us setting up obstacle courses in the house and making a general mess of the place. Besides, my parents always have the doors locked."

What if a social worker asks how on earth you survive with ten siblings?

You  grin and say, "Oh, my parents keep my six younger siblings locked up in a cage in our basement while the rest of us live a happy life without them."

What if a social worker asks what you fill your head with?

You say, "I read homeschooling magazines, converse with the people in my head, hang out with  insane friends online, and watch educating movies. Not to mention schoolwork,  and watching my older siblings have debates."

What if a social worker asks of you do any work other than schoolwork?

You say, "Yes..when I'm forced to do it. My parents don't really care what we do, just as long as the house stays on its foundation and we don't have a nuclear bomb laboratory in our backyard!"

The social worker decides that it is best to leave now. 



Seriously, do you really think that Em and I are insane?

Arya Animarus | Sat, 07/24/2010

Oh for the times when I felt invincible.

I never

  I never said that!!!

  But really, you are insane, though I'm more insane than either of you!

Jackie West | Sat, 07/24/2010

Oh how funny!!!!

LOL!!! LOL!!! LOL!!! L . O . L

( Laughing on the ground crying).

Whooo I have to show that one to my mom! man that was funny! well done Eirian that is hestarical. But really do you have ten siblings??? I have four but I can't imagine TEN!!! and four is quit hard. Wow I envy you if you have THAT many. Well done that so good!


Write on!!!

Kassady | Fri, 08/06/2010

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
Write On!'s true..'s true..I have ten siblings! Three brothers and seven sisters....

  We joke about any family smaller than ours being 'small', families our size are average sized, and any family bigger than ours are big families. Believe me, we have gotten plenty of stares..once, when my mom was expecting my baby brother we were at a rest station while on vacation, and one lady kept staring at us as we walked across the walking lot in pairs! We love getting stares!

Jackie West | Wed, 08/11/2010


 1. Why do social workers talk to you? If your family does foster care way to go! Otherwise, I'm curious

2. Do you really hate social workers so much?

3. That was funny. (hm, that's not a question now is it? oh well...) The only social workers I know are the ones I work with and they don't seem so bad. In fact, I should show this to them tomorrow. They'd love it

Keri | Wed, 08/11/2010

Well, Keri...

 1. Social workers don't really talk to's just a joke, it's all a joke! And no, we don't do foster care, they're all my biological siblings..and I'm not kidding on this point (my mom grew up hating kids because she was the youngest of four and she was spoiled) but now she has 11 of her own!!! Isn't it funny how that works??

  2. No, I don't hate social workers!

  3 To tell the truth, I don't think I've met any social workers, except for one who comes  occasionally due to therapy for my Down syndrome baby brother...

Jackie West | Sat, 08/14/2010

Just found this...

Just found this and loved it! I especially laughed when you put: 

"Oh, my parents keep my six younger siblings locked up in a cage in our basement while the rest of us live a happy life without them."

:D Awesomeness to the extreme!  

Madeline | Sun, 01/09/2011

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

I was just kidding..

 I really couldn't live without my six younger siblings.

Jackie West | Mon, 01/10/2011


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