Nuclear Parrots and Sally

Fiction By Jackie West // 11/25/2011

Once during a football season there approached a Godzilla who was mauve. His paraskavedekatriaphobia became his greatest apple sauerkraut. Unfortunately, Scales sung badly and cake ate his mother. Football also destroyed any signs of sanity. Nuclear parrots exploded and so feathers destroyed Manhattan. Digital clocks evaporated simultaneously, timed to bubble with frozen cubes of sushi. While underneath uranium, Superman plotted, finally, a scheme to incinerate George Bush. These popsicles finally burst into atomic duckies, then Morgana le Finkleburgsten surfed with zombified Godzillas. Penguins from the galactic Coliseum chose Jack Bauer as pope. He killed Palpatine, Chuck Norris, penguins, Harrison Ford, Gamera, Mothra, and Robert DeNiro with spiny shoes and eight-legged polar squid. Spaceships blasted polished seashells over the Bering Sea, sending fishes speeding to Russia. As polygons triangulated Pluto, Earth swung through sauce, entering asteroids that were nuclear, and almost pulverized the universe. Meanwhile, Superman drowned, thankfully, without penguins and Godzilla, who breathed nuclear duckies onto George Bush. Afterwards, parrots ate squid with atomic feathers that disintegrated, brutally, Hollywood. Robert DeNiro's third car destroyed D.C. by attaching nukes to the Potomac. The car smashed Charlotte the mummichog with pumpkins, then blew away California and new tires. Goodyear bit the dog, bombing Dallas, eliminating Las Vegas with nuclear flowers, and Philadelphia sank below Atlantis. Godzilla raised California above Terabithia, destroyed Congress, Tokyo, Beijing, Afghanistan, Libya, Iraq, America, Eurasia, Antarctica, Australasia, Pangea; Jack flew away, snickering evilly, to destroy the kryptonite sun. Wiping out sentient life was funny until Sally appeared with undead dollies, staring furiously at Jack. Furnaces raged as Armadeadon ate earthworms with Jack as sauce. Poor little Jack, he tasted quite good. Sally was happily blowing away Armadeadon and the universe as dollies digested the earthworms with Jack as topping.


This is...

....from a game called Mash You played with two sisters, a brother, and a cousin. Going around the circle, each person adds a word to the story. This is our creation. You can see why some of it just isn't plausible.

(Some of the references come from the computer game DragonFable. More come from the TV show, and now on DVD, 24.)

Jackie West | Sat, 11/26/2011


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