Zombie Salamanders and Nuclear Popcorn

Fiction By Jackie West // 2/28/2012

Once there hopped a giraffe who was drunk on Fruit2O. He blew apart a nuclear chuckwalla, which weighed five submarines worth of jellyfish. The chuckwalla took Robert to Disneyland, where plutonium grows dangerously, threatening Joseph with nudebranchs flying through Manhattan and Timbuktu. Duckies crawled over the US to arrive, rotting, in Jack Bauer's stomach. Godzilla went berserk because trolling was illegal. Matt Flannigan exploded into Hillary Clinton. Daniel Kenline ate diseased nommers because he hated zombies. Robert DeNiro jumped Jack's Lamborghini, then Andrew ate zombie salamanders to prove that he was insecure, and Jack Bauer shot Andrew because nommers like Andrews. When Daniel died in Atlantis, Kyle Coutu felt sad because he died by plutonium, which ate Legolas because idiots like plutonium freed. Robert ate nommers; delicious, squishy, delectable, rotters. Einstein's bobbleheaded rottweiler, Nancy, read Lennon's eight nuclear tomes, with sulfur and purple Macs, burning Djibouti to nothing. Bridget kicked underwater squirrels and blew gusts of duckies, destroying Dallas and Philadelphia. Shepard ate Atlas, Jupiter, ijaieiai, Neptune, Daniel, Kyle, DeNiro, fer-de-lances, lightbulbs, nuclear popcorn, underwater squirrels, jets, giants, daffodils, supernovas, wallabys, applesauce, and whipped cream, with a cherry on top. Pteradactyls swam towards Japan, chewing balloons. Shepard, feeling rather peckish, dined with Daniel the zombie on Pluto with Jack Daniels, hippies and shrimp garnish. She munched fences, Armadeadon, Europe, nebulae, parrots, ICBMs, dracoliches, ham, stars, armadillos, and deliciously sticky Mr. Parsimonious. Jalapeños, lemon persnicketies, and Lily revolted and blew Mr. Gently-Benevolent into kryptonite Kool-Aid. Finally, Pippa interrupted Jack's CIA dinner, while Shepard ate Chloe. Killing Shepard, Bauer exploded Earth but Pippa schemed with Mr. Hardthrasher to annihilate President Obama, Bauer, Pip, Harry, shortcake, Luke, Aunt Lily, and Emily Faggion. They succeeded, completely destroying everyone. Bend over.



'Mash You', Edition 2. :)

Jackie West | Tue, 02/28/2012

 Ha ha. Who's this Chloe

 Ha ha.

Who's this Chloe person?

Arya Animarus | Fri, 03/09/2012

Oh for the times when I felt invincible.


Chloe is a character from the TV show 24.

Jackie West | Wed, 03/14/2012



Aalen Fideli | Sun, 04/08/2012

Music I created



Jackie West | Mon, 04/09/2012

. . .

Do I know you? Because I don't think I know any druggies.

a | Wed, 04/18/2012


What do you mean by that?
I don't know if I know you either.

Jackie West | Wed, 04/18/2012

Aah, right.

You just used my name in the.. um... work. And it was



a | Mon, 04/23/2012


...is your name?

Jackie West | Wed, 04/25/2012

that's Daniel, genius.

honestly, it's not that hard to decode.

@Leinad: Jackie goes to my church and this 'story' stems directly from a bizarre game that she and her family play.
I may have mentioned... us. Sorry for the confusion.

Aalen Fideli | Wed, 08/22/2012

Music I created


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