The Elf-glade

Fiction By Jordan // 11/22/2012

So I did this description as an exercise in the middle of last year. What I had to do was to basically cause the reader to be able to imagine the whole place. Bring it to life, if you will. Tell me what you think. Hope you like it.

The Elf-glade - by me.

I live with my sister, in her cabin on the edges of the great Ohun-tara Wildland. The Wildland is mostly forest, and people don’t go into it much, although among the huge trees that populate the forest, there is a few crumbling old foundations, remnants of an older time, back when the settlers were more adventurous. But they all left, and now only my sister keeps watch over the frontier between Light and Dark. Dark is getting pretty well fortified in Ohun-tara, but sometimes I like to go out into it and challenge the dark. That’s how I discovered the Elf-glade. On one of my forays into the Wildland I stumbled upon this ancient-looking glade, deep among the starry creeks and rivers that twinkle around the roots of the Jahkuu Mountains. When you first enter the glade, the first thing you see is the hourglass spring, sitting right in the center of the glade. It’s something that must have been placed there at some time or another, as it’s an obviously carved stone, shaped a lot like an hour-glass, hence the name. It has a hole in the middle up the top, where the water flows up out of the ground, and down the sides. Then the water, which is crystal clear, and as cool and sharp as the edge of a sword, flows off into the woods; in four different directions, North, South, East, and West.
I don’t think that the spring was put there by the settlers, as the carving, and lettering on the stone is too beautiful for it to have been done by human hands. I think that it was put there by the Elves, before they were driven West by the forces of Dark, long before the settlers pushed the Dark back. That would make the spring exceptionally old, and when I touch it, I touch it reverently, the way you touch a baby’s cheek, or the hilt of an ancient and beautiful sword.
The rest of the glade is like the spring, breathtakingly old, but just as breathtakingly beautiful. It has massive gnarled trees that haunt the edges of the glade wearing a powerful red, or a healthy green, depending on the season. The soft grass itself has a smell conjuring up the smell of freshness, back when the world was new. Sometimes I can almost hear the elves singing softly in the trees, and the merry thumping of a dance, circling the spring. The glade is now the place I go most, when I want to think, or when Dark feels overwhelming, as the spring seems to be a lone outpost of Light. Once, just once, I thought I saw a pretty elf-maiden run through the trees, on the other side of the glade. Maybe my eyes tricked me, or my imagination escaped from the normal bonds that hold it, or maybe, just maybe, in some other clearing in the Wildlands, elves still dance around an hourglass spring, celebrating another victory over Time.

Comments

I enjoyed this. You are able

I enjoyed this. You are able to describe things far better than I ever could. Thus, I will not attempt to offer any criticism in that way.

However, there were a few minor grammatical mistakes. The one that stood out the most was located in the second sentence.

This was overall far better than anything I could ever do. Great job.

Benjamin | Wed, 11/28/2012

“D’ye know what Calvary was? What? What? What? It was damnation; and he took it lovingly.”
~John Duncan

Yay! This got posted! I was

Yay! This got posted! I was aching to read it. Love the description. Sounds like you. One thing: I personally wouldn't use long or weird names like Ohun-tara too, too much (not that you did) ...but that's just me. I want to go there! You should be happy with it. :) Can't wait till you post more!

Maddi | Wed, 11/28/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thanks guys!

Thank you.

Benjamin: Thanks heaps for that compliment about the description. I love doing that stuff, and if you enjoyed it, wonderful. :)
Yeah this wasn't edited at all. It was written once, and then left. So I haven't gone over that side of things. I tend to write by feel, not by technique, if you get me. But thanks for pointing that stuff out. :D

Maddi: I'm glad you enjoyed it! :) Yes, it is like me, isn't it? lol.
Yeah the weird words were there for effect. I wanted it to seem like the reader was just scratching the surface of another world. Hopefully I succeeded. I want to go there too. ;)

Yes, you haven't seen the last of me... >_>

Jordan | Wed, 11/28/2012

When you knock on your friend's door, turn around...

I'm a girl.

Oh, kay. You didn't do it too much, but if you had a story with lots of hard long names that you made up, I think the reader would get confused. Anyways, I like it.

Good. :) Want lots more....

Maddi | Wed, 11/28/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh