His hands held her face,
Cupping around her neck,
His lips met hers,
Making my heart quicken,
My breath catch,
And unsettling yearning grip my gut,
The winter comes and freezes my inspiration,
Shaking in fear,
Math stays undone,
And the guilt weighs on me in tons.
Unmotivated to do anything,
Productivity seems to have waved goodbye,
And left me empty handed,
Dried up and shriveled,
Unsure of where to go,
What to do,
And too lazy to do the things I'm sure of.
And in remembering
And in feeling
And in seeing
And in thinking
And in transforming
It is hard to curb an appetite,
Once one has tasted something sweet;
Hard to deny oneself,
Lips, well, they thirst without,
Mouth full of nothing,
Save for useless words of self-pity.
Sometimes I worry,
That a muse will find a poem and realize,
And know exactly what I'm talking about,
And that fear is not because it's a secret,
But I guess,
Really it is?
The progress of kissing in films,
Has got me on the edge of my seat,
From 1930's to 2014,
Kissing has always been a bit different.
From forceful to gentle,
Open and closed,
Full fledged out on the first kiss,
And barely a peck on the last,
The history of film smooching,
It might bore anyone else,
But makes me sit back and tap my chin,
I've become a kiss judge,
Expert on styles in separate eras,
And it feels stupid to examine,
For some are just too real,
While others are just too fake.
Makes me wonder though,
If styles of kissing have changed,
Year after year slightly altered?
Could kissing be so forceful during the 40's?
Could kissing be so sloppy in the 90's,
Not quite sure,
But it's interesting,
To study the art of lips.
No When It's Yes
Turn into monsters of the mind,
Eating away at your insides,
All you hear is "no,"
When everyone is saying "yes,"
But who are you to argue,
Who are you to ask?
A simple encouragement,
Transformed into an order,
"I am!" You snap,
When all I said was "good job."
Negative attention is your drug,
It is almost as if you are searching for it,
Asking for a stern command,
A correct of behavior.
In your eyes you are unworthy,
Your ears betray you,
Your mind twisting meaningless words,
Aching with pain at what you've created,
What you've turned a nonchalant comment into.
I pity you,
I hope to heal you,
But my hopes and efforts seem to thrown against a wall,
Determined to take the blunt of soft blows.
I promise all I want to do is help,
But I can't if you keep pushing,
You continue to push away,
The good attention in feeding you instead.
Sometimes I'm lonely,
Sometimes I miss that kind of company,
I miss smiling at flirtatious hints,
Puzzling over comments,
And just talking.
I miss him,
Even though I know I shouldn't,
I've been over this,
I don't want to get caught up in this,
All over again.
But maybe I wish we were close again,
Just a bit closer than this,
I know what happens with being nearer though,
I know what happens when I grow attached,
Even though I know I shouldn't.
Could it be?
It's certainly an amusing guess,
And it certainly makes sense.
Calculating and measuring,
It would be so easy to believe.
I can't help but feel relief,
An odd relief for a suspicion,
Why would I be relieved?
I grin at the prospect,
Frown at how hard it must be for you,
Thank God you're here,
If it is true.