Anxiety~ Street Music (RP 15)
Anxiety keeps my blood warm,
My feet ice cold.
Waiting in worried silence,
And nervously laughing,
At my pathetic behavior.
I shouldn't be this tight,
Every muscle tense with impatience,
Every breath restrained,
Against a constricted chest.
The distance between us,
Land and sea,
Is emblematic of how I feel,
So far from you,
Separated by miles and air,
Too far from you.
It's funny to think,
That I've lived before without knowing,
This pathetic feeling of loneliness,
Not knowing how it feels to miss someone,
With every fiber of my body.
You should be my friend,
But now I feel like you're just hiding,
Now I feel like I've offended you,
Without really knowing what I've done.
Why is it,
That I turn to you when I'm lonely,
When I need someone to talk to,
To argue with and to laugh at?
You've been there,
Whether you know it or not,
For when I've needed a friend the most,
For when I needed to talk,
About anything but my feelings!
Busy or not,
You've put up with me.
You've let me push you and pull you,
Taunt you and flaunt myself.
You've argued and laughed,
Even let me call you a smart ***.
I need to talk to you,
But I don't want you to be the one I turn to,
Just when I'm lonely,
I want you to be needed,
For more than my personal lonely heart comforter,
For more than my mental punching bag,
Just honest friendship.
I want to treat you like a person,
Think of you as a person,
Turn to you as a person,
Not as a tool I can use for my own benefit,
Not as my back up guy friend,
When my boyfriend is away.
One doesn't realize ones feelings,
Towards a certain thing or someone,
Until that feeling is gone,
Or that someone is missing,
And I miss that feeling immensely.
Your lips tease and haunt me,
Driving me to miss you more,
Driving me to insanity,
An insatiable desire for your touch,
For your eyes,
For your presence.
I can feel the ghost of you,
Right outside my reach.
I lunge forward to grab at wisps of memory,
Returning only with a chest full of loneliness.
Now I lie,
Down so to dream,
For something a bit more...
She stares off dreamily into space,
The empty room filled with his voice.
Beneath her lidded eyes he smiles,
His sparkling eyes laughing at her heart,
Not knowing her pain and her longing,
Not caring a hair about her sanity,
Which she constantly questions.
She snaps back into reality,
Guiltily laughing and shaking her head,
At her "stupid" daydreams,
While I just smile and see normality,
In her supposed insanity.
Music drifts in through the open window,
The neighbor's music filling the street,
Lively horns and Accordions.
It makes me smile,
Each word incomprehensible,
Or at least to I,
The uncultured side of the street.