Childhood Rules~Surprise Party (31)

A Poem By Kassady // 10/14/2014

Childhood Rules
Not the perfect one you thought me to be,
Not as angelic or pure,
Finding out I'm not as mature as you thought,
And that I've broken some childhood rules.
Thoughts of purity,
Built up as a little girl,
All seem too strict and constricting now,
Because being "appropriate",
Would literally be hiding away,
Covering every inch of skin,
And waiting till I'm thirty and married,
To just kiss someone "on the lips!"

The Mystery Of My Guy Friend
Sometimes I wonder if you care,
As I put a lot into this friendship,
Sometimes I wonder if we would be friends,
If I just "forgot" to text "hi" now and then.
I wonder if we'd still pretend to talk,
And pretend to have other things to do,
Wonder if sometimes I'm just annoying,
Like a pebble in your shoe,
Constantly nagging to get your attention.
Don't know why I keep our friendship together,
When it's based off arguing and loneliness,
When all you do is say witty sarcastic *stuff*
And I try to be clever but end up,
Just looking like a stupid air-head.
Doesn't make sense,
But somehow I wouldn't want us to change,
Don't want you to go away,
Because you're a tool I use,
Practicing to guard my heart,
Practicing friendship,
Sarcasm,
Debate,
And intellectual conversation;
Safe because you're stubborn,
Thick skinned,
Passionate,
And quick-witted.
You're fun to talk to,
But also a pain,
Really just all very confusing,
And I realize you've done it again,
Made me break my own rule,
About not writing poetry about guy friends.

Wonder If
As the hours pass and bring time closer,
Closer to your birthday,
Makes me wonder,
And makes me stop,
Saddened.
I wonder what we would have done,
What you would have said,
When I asked you what you wanted,
Asked "what's the plan".
Probably would have prepared myself,
To share the day with his friends,
His family and others still,
Would have told myself to be patient,
Told myself not to be too clingy.
I wonder if I would have stayed up,
Been there on the phone,
Till midnight,
Just to sing you a happy birthday,
Probably would have wished to be with you.
I wonder what I would have planned,
Wonder what I would have said,
I wonder what I would have gotten you,
Wonder if you would have cared,
Wonder if I would have finally given in,
And said "I love you."

Romantic Dreamer
Weird dreams run through my brain,
Taunting me with awkward situations,
And equally disturbing images,
Waking makes me laugh,
Funny that we both dreamt of my love life,
Though yours was more realistic than mine.

#
I am blessed,
The only injustice done me,
Is that I live in a world of injustice.

The One
Happy birthday,
To the one so far,
To the one I called darling,
But never baby.
Happy birthday,
To just the one,
The first boy,
The first kiss,
The first dream come true,
Or at least first romantic dream.
Can't stop thinking,
Can't stop turning back time,
To the look on your face,
Wish I could've see the look on your face,
When I undoubtedly stayed up,
Just to say:
"Happy birthday,"
In an alternative universe,
Where I'm weak enough to go on,
Clinging onto our already dead relationship,
By only a heart string.
Happy birthday,
To the one so far,
May your years be blessed,
And may you find your one and only,
Or find sensibility in age.

Bouts of Insomnia
Tossing,
Turning,
Completely restless night,
Don't understand,
Don't want to fall prey to a restless mind,
I'd prefer nightmares over my restless mind,
The nightmares would be understanding,
They would have their limits.
Conscious lolly gagging has always troubled me,
Like an illness hard to shake off,
And miserable to be under.
Please save me from my restless mind,
Which expands with time,
Soaking in the dark like a sponge,
Enlarging,
Filling every space,
Wringing out logic and soaking in handsome strangers,
Mercilessly plucking from every pool,
The ones I'd rather just be friends with,
Throwing them into forced situations,
And making me toss and turn.
A restless mind devours every sensible thought,
Leaving me with a loose grasp if reality,
And a constant feeling,
Of "I should stop,"
Can't stop,
Tossing,
Turning,
Like a waking nightmare,
Running from a monster,
The monster that is my restless mind.

Surprise Party
The look of surprise,
The gasp,
The grin,
Sends warmth into my chest and into my heart.
Beaming with pride,
Love and excitement,
I watch her light up and glow.
New friends and old,
I see everyone come close,
Just to make her feel loved,
Special and beautiful,
And I am so happy,
Because she is the sweetest heart,
Sweetest girl,
Who deserves all the happiness in the world.

Comments

I think this is one of your

I think this is one of your best and most well-rounded sets. There are a lot of differing feelings in these, and I appreciated the fact that each one was unique in its own. I loved all the topics you tackled and it's a good representation of your mind.

The Mystery Of My Guy Friend was good. Really good. The rhythm was perfect, and it read effortlessly. I just love how you describe your relationship and yet there's that uncertainty there, the self-doubt. It's perfect.

Wonder If was along the same vein but I really loved the wishfulness about it. The end, especially, was lovely and kind of unexpected. Wonderful work.

Romantic Dreamer Ha! I know what this is about! And I really like it. It's virtually angst-free, thanks to the ending. It's just a fun, light poem.

I really liked #. Had to read it a couple of times to get it.

I love The One. It was based in a feeling of maturity, which was great. The end especially was nice.

Aw, and Surprise Party. That was just adorable and so sweet and just happy!

I loved these, Kass! Thanks, as always, for sharing!

Madeline | Tue, 10/14/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thank you Homey so much for

Thank you Homey so much for your comment! Couldn't help but feel my head get bigger and my chest swell with pride! Thanks a bunch!

Kassady | Wed, 10/15/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

I actually like these a lot

I actually like these a lot better than some of the recent ones! They seem very honest and straightforward.

Erin | Wed, 10/15/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

:)

I actually really liked the guy friend one. Great rhythm.
Bouts of insomnia was amazing rhythm as well, and good word choice. Surprise party made me smile ;)

Maddi | Sun, 10/19/2014

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thank you both!

Thank you both for your encouraging comments! Your loyalty to reading makes me so proud! Thank you!

Kassady | Sun, 10/19/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

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