Circulation~Just Friends (28)
Fingers brush against bare wrists,
Surprised by the attention,
And by the eyes that follow me.
I smile pleasantly back,
Feeling friendship form,
Though your attention may mean something different.
One I know to act like a goof,
The other more shy, I know not,
And not quite sure if it's just friendly,
Friendly showing off.
Loneliness will make some silly,
While new experiences will make some sheepish,
Though maybe acting like yourselves?
Wish I knew you both better,
Can't be certain.
Wish I knew how boy's minds work,
Too much to think about.
Wish I could ask you,
Without it being weird or awkward,
Because you also show off,
You also have caught my eye,
And patted me on the back.
Circles cutting off my circulation,
Brain just can't come to a conclusion,
And maybe I shouldn't,
Maybe I need to stop reading into it,
And live in the moment.
I think I have an addiction,
I keep dreaming,
Of lips kissing me,
Because I undoubtedly miss yours.
Can't just put a band-aid on it,
Can't just fill out a prescription,
Can treat this addiction.
No drug can help me forget,
The softness of your lips against mine,
Against my neck,
And my forehead.
Sick with something that should be sickening,
My want for physical contact concerns me,
And keeps me on a constant chastising cycle.
I miss daydreaming about kissing you,
And then those dreams coming true,
The way I'd envision your arms,
Wrapped around me,
Hands and fingers,
Stroking the bare skin of my lower back.
No nurse, no doctor,
Can cure this need,
This animalistic desire for the warmth,
The magic touch of your hands,
And the sweet sensations,
That left me light headed,
And dizzy, as your kiss did.
The same idea striking us,
Both thinking we're weirdos,
For guessing at what people might think,
Of two teen girls,
Wonder What If
Sometimes I wonder what you're doing,
But I have a pretty good guess.
Sometimes I wonder if you miss me,
And I'm stumped, can't even begin,
To guess at what goes on inside your head.
Seeing You Again
We'll blow you away"
I'll blow you away,
Put all my anger,
From the past,
Into this moment,
Into this game,
Into this cheer,
As you sit,
Watching the football game,
Watching the night unfold,
But not seeing,
My moment of bitterness,
My moment of pain,
And final relief.
I can smile at you now,
The battle is over,
Only myself harmed,
Deep in my chest.
Sometimes it's all too much,
The loud irritable buzz of life,
Voices bouncing off the walls,
Raised in a constant state of agitation.
One way or another,
Ninety three point three percent of the time,
Is full of unbalanced harmony.
Bickering and correcting,
Someone's a victim,
Someone's in trouble.
It's a nonstop overstimulating mess,
Creatures of habit meeting,
With creatures of flight,
Creating a jumble of opinions always voiced;
Loud voices always proclaiming,
Always proving to be correct.
The constant mood swings of everyone,
Spark indigestion of character in myself,
Indigestion with my emotions and reactions.
Where once love and affection took place,
And I strong desire to hit something occur.
A never ending murmur of sounds,
Through the day and through the night.
It's driving me insane,
It's turning me into what I've hated most,
The stereotypical teenager.
Once Upon A Summer's Kiss
Thoughts of you drift,
Slowly sliding in like clouds.
It's like the more distance,
The more time passes,
The more I realize.
Sure it was hard being in a relationship,
Constantly thinking about you,
Constantly asking myself:
"How does he feel?"
But more and more I come to find,
I miss what we had,
And I enjoyed being someone's somebody.
I don't know what it was,
Don't know why,
Or how it made sense,
But we had something,
A special something,
That made me feel special in a way.
I miss that something,
That unexplainable pleasure,
In listening to you talk,
In watching you smile,
In feeling your heart beat,
Or hearing you laugh.
There was that thing you did with your lips,
And the dorky way you wore your hair.
There was this way you looked at me,
When you said good night,
And the way you held my hand.
I loved it when you played piano,
Loved your rare displays of passion,
And the way your fingers tried playing my arm,
"I'm not a piano."
I miss the way you said good morning,
The silent pause before the sigh,
Signifying the end of a phone call.
I miss making memories with you,
Watching movies together,
Listening to music in the car,
Making time for hour long phone calls,
That had more silence than words,
And the outings every weekend,
That I always looked forward to.
I miss the moments I was in love with you,
And wish there were more,
Because I miss being annoyed,
At how much I adored parts of you,
But not all.
Now I just bully myself,
On every matter under the sun,
Including the way I feel,
About missing you and that something,
We had once upon a summer kiss.
Pain in the Grass
Like a piece of grass in your sock,
Once you've got on your shoe,
Only starting to irritate,
Under the pressure of a particular movement;
Your silence just now starts to bother me,
Starts to naw at me,
Irritating me and annoying me,
Until finally I'll take the shoe off,
And pick off the piece of grass,
That offends so maddeningly.
Why do I feel so bitter towards you?
Why do I want to make it hard,
Make you see,
How very happy I am without you?
I hate that I want so badly,
To hear your voice,
To see that you still care,
It tells me I'm not ready to be,
Less than what we were,
And to be more than I am,
To be just friends.