Dear Crazy Girl, Chapter 1
Dear Crazy Girl
I guess this story starts. On a Friday, at breakfast when my father , Jim “FedEx“… ok I know what your thinking “ FedEx ? like the mail deliverers ?” , yes . The very FedEx family . I am a descendant of a very rich and popular ancestry . My family are millionaire’s, but the only thing about my family is – We’re kind of mean. You see, my father and his father before him have this tradition of taking other peoples addresses and prank message them. Yes I did this, I know! The protagonist is a big snot.
“ Hey sport, here is your new address“ my father said passing a slip of paper to me. I stuffed down a bite of chocolate chip pancakes, that our chief Andrew Tack made. I then picked it up , smiling to myself.
“ Kayla O’Cassey ? “ I asked smiling at him. “ That’s something you see everyday” I said sarcastically. He chuckled.
“Very Irish isn’t it?” my mother ( Leona “FedEx“) said whipping her mouth with a fancy cloth napkin. I grinned devilishly…
Dear ms. O’Cassey,
This is a letter to note a couple of things:
1: Your name is ridiculous
2: Your hand writing is terrible!
3: maybe you should get some one to look at your hands
4: You address is … well Ludicrous
5 : Come on! Laurel Crown? Is what your name is?
6: your blond hair doesn’t match your face
7: sorry just kidding!
FROM YOUR FRIENDLY FEDEX!
* * * * * * * * *
Next morning, I woke up with a smile on my face, a skip in my step, and… “ I LOVE DAD ” PJ’s?
“ Morning” my father said hardly looking away from his newspaper to greet me. I held the letter in its envelope in my hand, I headed for the door. I walked out, it was a perfect ordinary Saturday, bright, cheerful and boring. I had lots of friends, but most of them like me only for my money. That bugged me, they were always asking me to take them to music concerts, and theme parks, also Disney world. I thought of this on my way to the mail box, not knowing that this letter would change my life for… ever really, I - not knowing the what surprises and wonderful things would happen- pushed the letter into the mailbox. I shut the mailbox. I raised the red flaggy thingy. I walked back inside.
I laughed when I was in the breakfast room. My parents laughed to, it was, know that I look back on it a almost evil “mwhaha”.
“ Do you think there will be a reply?” I asked.
“ Yes I think so, we always get a reply” my father said spreading butter on a thick slice of bread.
“ No! like a letter reply, not a phone-to-the-business-complaint, I would like a reply on paper for once, I don’t care if it’s a complaint, it probably would be”.
“ You can dream” my mother said, handing her plate over to a waiting servant who rushed it out of the room and into the kitchens, to be cleaned, dried and polished.
“ Your so encouraging!”.
* * * * * * * * *
“ Nick! Nick! Over here Nick! Here I saved a seat for you” said Amelia Sayn, a girl from my class ( it’s Sunday night, a performance of a play that a seventh grader had written was playing that night, so I decided, “ I have nothing else to do, and my parents are gone on a date, better go and have fun”) she was one of the most trusted of my “friends”, the only thing was she boasted and bragged, A LOT! Next to her was another one of my most trusted “friends” ( there are three in all), David Lough, he was skinny and short, like ten year old short when he was my age, Fourteen.
“ What’s up man!” he said, oh he is a skateboarding kind of person. Like big time.
“ Nothen much, a little WII here a little prank lettering there. The usual” I said casually.
“ PRANK MESSAGING AGAIN!” said a perfect blond headed girl, who had make up on, she was a popular kid in school, all the boys liked her. Me? No! Ok a little!
“ yep” I said trying to put on a impressive tone.
“ Oh cool!” she said, with a valley girl voice, the way all popular girls do.
“ Yeah so what” Amelia said, oh she had a crush on me and she hated the blond girl. Oh her name was Victoria Leriasa.
“ Yo, the show is about to start ,pees, shhh” David said.
Everyone became quite as we watched the purple curtains come up.
Boy “ To be or not to be!”.
Second boy “ to be I think” . Laughter
Girl “ Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?”.
Third boy “ Are you blind I’m right behind you!”. Laughter
First boy “ If music be the food of love, play on, Give me excess of it; that surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die”.
Girl “ So much drama! What’s the point!” chuckles, as it gets less funny.
Second boy "Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once."
Third boy “ Then all of us have died more then once!”. Laughter desists and everyone stays quite
Girl "Nothing can come of nothing: speak again."
First boy “ Duh”, a few chuckles, like one
Second boy "What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet."
Girl “ How about nasty?” Silence.
Third boy "O happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die."
First boy “ What a lovely line!” Silence
First boy "Why then tonight let us assay our plot."
All “ To end this Play! Thank you good night”
The curtains dropped as all four bowed. People clapped , I guess half heartedly.
At least the food was good. Tonight I guess I wasted my time.
• • • • • • •
“ Mail time!” I yelled after I got out of school three days after.
“ I don’t know… Nick I think your barking up the wrong tree” my father said taking the afternoon paper from me.
“ You haven’t gotten any complaint’s yet! Have you?” I asked before looking at the stack of letters.
“ No… but still! What if the person doesn’t want to do anything, she just might want to keep it secret, or maybe you pranked one of her friends, and knows what we’ll say..”.
“ WHAT!!! NO WAY! REALLY! IT CANT BE!” I cut my dad short with a yell of excitement, as I looked down at a envelope that read
To: Nickolas “FedEx”
2689 N , Riverside Lane,
3879 N , George Washington ST ,
The Girl with the so called “ Ridiculous” name
I laughed looking at the last bit. Then read on
Dear Nickolas , Know-Ex
“ ohh!” I said laughing! It was a defiantly a mean retort to what I said to her, I guess I deserved it, “ I like her spunk!”. I went upstairs to my large room and read.
I am afraid your notes are a little off, ok when I mean little I mean A LOT! Here I’ll answer the best I can to each one, ok get ready, this might sting.
1: It’s a very nice name! But to my personality I have to say you were close, I am Crazy! A little Ridiculous, A Little geeky but I am absolutely CRAZY!!!! Through and through.
2: Yes I agree my hand writing stinks, but oh wait, so does yours!
3: I do agree my hands are a little unsteady. But it’s a habit, we all have them.
4: I’m guessing you had to look in the Thesaurus. And yes. But I like it anyway. Yours sounds really, really , really fancy.
5: Yes Laurel Crown is what my name means. Victorious people is what yours means. I guess… we both have odd ones.
6: for your information I have brown hair! I agree blond doesn’t look good with my face. I love brown hair. Don’t you?
7: I forgive you. Sorry about how mean my writing is! I was being very snotty!
So there you go! I hope you have a good day.
The Crazy Girl ￼
I got up and quickly wrote a reply:
Dear Crazy Girl,
Well that stung a little. Yes I like brown hair, I have brown hair, I have green eye’s, you?
I think we got on the start
“ HI I’m Nickolas “FedEx“, but people call me “ Nick” . I like to write and I like reading ( I know! I’m a weirdo! People used to tease about that, espiecly my parents, so I stoped, well in public. I read privetly). I like prank messaging people. A tradition that was past in the family. I’m sorry to be so mean to you. Do you think we could be pen pals? Please! I have hardly any friends. And the ones I do have well they only like me because I’m popular
What are you like?
I am the only child. My father is a little fat in the waist ( don’t tell him I told you that). My mother is miss prim and proper she has garden competions and she is presdent of “the North Dakota women’s society” she is tall and skinny!
I go to a public school even though I don‘t have to , my parents think it would be wise. I think I should have my own tutor. Any way!
What is your family like? Do you have a family? Do you have any siblings?
Thank you for Replying! Most people only give complaints to the company.
• • • • • • • •
Next morning I got up read her letter again smiling , went down stairs for cinnamon rolls and milk, I grabbed my lunch box. And backpack and went out the door.
All day I fidgeted to get home to see if she replied. I should have known better, that mail didn’t work that fast. So of course I came inside disappointed,
“ Oh well” I told myself as I flopped onto my bed. “ What to do what to do” . My cell phone began to ring I looked and the screen read
“ Amelia Sayn ”
“ Hello?” I said
“ Hi Nick! Guess what”.
“ I just got the iphone 2010!!! Can you believe it!”
“wow! Good for you” I said trying to put enthusiasm in my voice
“ I know! So listen could you pay the monthly, cause we’re friends and all”
You wish I thought, “ Yeah sure… How much is it anyway?”
“ Three thousand dollars”.
“Yeah, but that won’t be a problem, for you I mean”
“ Ok I’ll ask my parents, actually, you tell my parents, one moment please” I ran down stairs “ Dad, one my friends wants to talk to you” My father shrugged, and I gave him the phone, I smiled at myself and went upstairs, maybe if I read a little, that might help.
• • • • • • • • •
Dear Nickolas the Ridiculous, ( I like that, very creative)
I forgive you, and sure lets be pen pals.
Hi I’m Kayla O’Cassey.
I am the oldest of eight children in my family, I’m the eighth. I’m Homeschooled, we all are. I have light brown eyes. I like writing and reading ( I don’t think that’s geeky, that’s good for some one who goes to school). I have a orange tabby cat and a white huge monster of a dog ( he is a great Pyrenees). My father is tall and strong, my mother is tall and beautiful ( If I don’t say so myself). All my family are tall for their ages. I am going to turn fourteen in two months, June 13th. How about you?
So… is your last name really “FedEx” ? sorry just wondering.
I like “Ben and Jerry’s” how about you? Their sooo good !!! Chocolate is my favorite in everything. I don’t like Banana’s but I like Banana bread. Oh and Peanut butter, I can’t stand peanut butter, but “ to each their own” right. What things do you like and don’t like. Are you allergic to anything. I’m allergic to sharks skin and pepper. Its really hard to get away from pepper though. I know its odd that I’m allergic to Shark skin, but I am, last year my family and I went to this aquarium and they had a touch tank, with those smaller type sharks, I touched one and ten minutes latter, I was swelling up like a balloon, and we were still touching the sharks, when it happened, odd right.
I’m sorry your so popular. I guess that come’s from being a descendant of the FedEx company.
I think you should stop pranking other people. It is mean.
Its nice to have become friends in letter’s lets hope we have more letter’s to come,
The Crazy Girl