Emo Snip: That Person

Fiction By Kassady // 1/26/2014

Sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I wish I could be someone else… I wish I could be that person. I wish I could be that person again, but I think I’ve lost that opportunity with the loss of communication with her.
Like a mirage, she was there one minute and then gone with a blink of an eye. It was like trying to hold onto smoke, she just slipped right out of my grasp. Bright and happy, her nervous energy and shy eyes brought out a side of myself I never knew existed.
All that talk of thinking about me all the time, and she forgets me! She must have been exaggerating and just said she was thinking about me, in that moment. If it weren't for her caring personality and sweetness I would be angry. In fact, I really don’t care a lick about it, about her. Or do I?
I remember her smile, ever constant and ever beaming at me. It was as if she wanted to make everyone around her happy all at once and she could.
But she would be so quiet sometimes, watching with those intent eyes. Those eyes; they would look up at me when they thought that I wasn't looking and then look away quickly as they met mine. Just in that instant look I could see the deepest of hope.
It gave me a weird satisfaction when I knew she liked me, when her mother told me how she really felt. The thought that anyone could feel that way about me made me think that, I might possibly not be as hated as I thought.
She accepted me for who I was, I could see that in her eyes as she listened to me talk about myself. Before, I had met so much judgment from everyone around me, but she just listened and soaked it all in.
Am I ever going to meet another person like her? Sometimes I hope not, for she saw right through me as if she had x-ray vision. She could see when I wasn’t myself, when something was wrong. Her maternal stare would see my exhaustion, and she wasn’t afraid to point it out.
How silly it all was. Playing with her, and spending time with her family. She could be such a child sometimes. How can someone be so mature and play like a child? It doesn’t make any sense. Laughing with her felt so dream-like. How silly it was, those silences where neither one of us knew what to say. She of course would say something first, and it would always be a question about me. I’ve never known anyone so intrigued to hear about another person. She would look disappointed if you didn’t have anything interesting to say.
That girl. If I had time, maybe I would have loved her the way she wanted me to. She moved so fast though, in everything she did she was fast. She would talk fast, type fast, walk fast, act fast, change moods fast, and bring up conversations quickly. She would open the door for me, but then quickly shut it in my face, as if afraid that I might say something she might not like. Our friendship happened too quickly, too fast for comfort, and she ran ahead, head first. If she had slowed down, I would have caught up.
I wish it didn’t end this way. As quickly as it had begun, our conversations stopped. She’s a fleeting memory that I think of from time to time. It’s a relief, honestly, not having to worry any longer.
Maybe if I had had time--but I didn’t and now she’s gone.
I’ll let her be. She is just a fleeting memory.

Comments

For a moment I thought you

For a moment I thought you were talking about a friend or something...haha. :D Then I went back when I saw your note and re-read it. And, I mean, even if this isn't what that person might be thinking...it's all up to interpretation. My only critique is this doesn't have a distinctly male voice to it. I guess if you wanted to edit it a bit I'd make that more apparent. Although this does have a slightly different voice from your previous emo snip. :)

Anyway, you're doing the right thing for you, even if it's hard, so if writing helps you to work it out...then write away! And keep posting, because we're reading. :D Love ya!

Madeline | Wed, 01/29/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thank you!

Thanks for reading!!!
So that's what it is! I knew there was something just not right... How do I make it sound more masculine? Ugh it's so hard!
Thank you for reading BFF!!!
It does help, it's like venting!!! It makes me feel better (most of the time)... I'm sure you're getting tired of the melodrama so I'll try to change my tune soon :P but for now you're just stuck with my Emo stuff haha!

Kassady | Wed, 01/29/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

I like this, although I agree

I like this, although I agree with Homey about it seeming more feminine. Most of my friends these days are guys, and I can tell you that the majority don't make things quite as complicated (or eloquent) as that was ;). It was very nicely written, it just seemed too formal. Phrases such as "loss of communication" can come across as a little stiff, especially in this context. Another piece of phrasing that came across as strange was this bit: "if it wasn't for her caring personality and sweetness I would be angry." caring personality and sweetness are so literal that I couldn't get a picture of who he was describing. Anyway, nice job, I hope this doesn't seem harsh!

Erin | Wed, 01/29/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

It's fine, Kass! No worries.

It's fine, Kass! No worries. :D That's the point of having a friend. We'll help each other with the ups and downs and read Emo snips! :)

Erin had the best advice! I can't really objectively tell someone a better way to write from a guy standpoint, because I never have, and I don't have friends who are guys. :P At the moment, anyway.

Madeline | Thu, 01/30/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thanks Girls!

Thanks Erin!!!
No, it doesn't seem harsh at all!!! Thank you so much for your comments, I treasure everyone! I totally agree! WAY feminine... it's sooooo hard! Goodness... I'm not really going to edit, honestly, just because these Eno Snips are on-a-whim-have-to-write-down-my-thoughts-or-I'll-explode kind of writings... But thanks, these critiques will help me later down the road! So thank you!!!
Homey-- THANK YOU! XOXO!

Kassady | Sat, 02/01/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

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