Excited~ Guilty Daydreaming (43)
I apologize in advance,
If I laugh too loud,
I blush in advance,
For my tongue running away,
Fumbling and mumbling,
My fast and jumbled thoughts,
Seem to appear wilder out loud.
I wonder what it sounds like?
As I speak boisterously,
Yelling practically when excited,
And I am easily excited.
I felt a weight sit heavy on my chest,
Throat thickening slightly,
As I hugged you all one last time.
I practically clung to you,
Holding longer than a casual friend,
You've become a best friend,
And as you walk away,
I catch one last glimpse,
One moment when our eyes met,
And you were gone.
The weight got heavier,
I swore my eyes were stinging,
I wasn't ready to say goodbye,
Not just yet.
New Years Eve Party
I would say,
If New Years Eve is any indication,
Then 2015 is going to be weird,
Full of new experiences,
My fun meter has been pegged,
Tension builds inside me,
Every time I have to fake another smile.
I'm done being friendly,
I'm done trying to pretend,
All I want is to get into bed,
Bed, bed, bed,
It's all I can think about,
Feeling like I'm about to burst.
Sometimes I wish I could be *mean,
Because I feel like it.
I can't believe it's going to be over,
I can feel myself start to crumble,
My chest aches,
My eyes sting,
And everything feels heavier.
My weeks of crying were enough,
But I'm afraid they might revisit,
Bringing along tears with every look at your innocent face,
Heart shattering into thousands of little pieces,
Like being stomped on,
Heels pounding into the broken mess,
Of what's left of my heart.
Your excitement gives me pain,
My heart crying out,
Head blistering with fought back indignation.
I love you,
I love you,
No, I LOVE YOU!
With all my heart,
With all my being!
It's like an actual sister being torn away from me,
It is like that,
Because you ARE my sister,
I've lived with you and laughed,
I've cried and shared so many memories,
And I love you,
I guess that's why I have to let you go.
I hate to admit it,
But it constantly pops into my head,
For something I've dreamed of.
I knew I was awake,
I knew it was fantasy,
But why did it have to be you?
Why did I have to,
I don't want to fall,
Because you're the best,
And not in the least bit good,
Self-centered, arrogant, argumentative,
Can't even remember if you've ever complimented me,
Can't count how many times you've made me feel stupid.
But you've become a best friend,
A thing that I'll treasure,
Because despite all your faults,
You make me laugh,
You make me happy,
And you inspire me.
I just wish my hopeless drama,
Could keep to itself,
Stuff all of those fantasies out of mind,
To never come up at the sight of your face,