Little Feet~Taking it Personal (47)
I miss your little feet,
Stomping through the halls,
The sounds you would make,
And the chaos you caused.
I miss calling your name,
Setting your plate at the table,
Checking to see if you've wondered,
Making sure you're being helpful.
Your smile and constant questions,
Your toys all over the house,
The way you drove me crazy,
The way you put things in your mouth.
I miss the even number,
Having to explain you,
Worrying about you,
Keeping an eye on you,
I miss your endless sentences,
I miss the sound of you,
And your elephant feet.
Trying not to squirm uncomfortably,
It makes me want to yell,
Stand and wave my hands in the air,
I mean is it so impossible?
Is it just improbable for two,
Two opposite genders to be friends?
Everything points to a big fat yes,
And all I want to do,
Is close my eyes,
Cover my ears,
Run my tongue in quick succession,
Against the roof of my mouth,
As I loudly drown out all media judgment.
So who cares what society says?
We both go against the norm independently,
Why not also in this way?
I'm prone to jealousy,
But quick to cover it up,
Designed just for you,
Beating myself up,
For feeling this way,
Resentment boiling within,
Back down to a simmer.
I try to think calmly,
But how could you?
You had time for her,
Despite the fact you said "sorry" to me.
Infecting the pit of my stomach,
Poisoning my mind,
Can't think up excuses for you,
Only capable of thinking:
"What's wrong with me?"
Taking It Personal
Open your eyes to your *stuff,
Like I would ever mean to say that,
Like I would ever do a thing,
To cause you discomfort or pain.
Step away from your self induced drama,
Getting high off of the problems you make,
Can't believe you'd blame me,
When what I said only applied to one person,
My freaking self!
Begging on my knees for you to forgive,
While I'm apologizing for I crime I didn't commit,
Whatever felony I'm charged with,
The only harm meant by my words,
Should have been for me.
Laziness is a sickness,
And I am ill with it,
How could you think I would judge you,
When you simply must recover?
You can't help it!
But I can help my sluggishness.
A hundred times over,
I am so totally not perfect,
No one is.
I know I'm making this into a big deal,
Creating drama for myself,
Just like you do for you,
And maybe it's because I've never really lost a friend,
I'm afraid this will be that first.
Why am I so obsessed with being the perfect friend?
I offended you,
That's your problem,
I said something that was a jab at myself,
(So what, I make fun of myself),
And you personally took it from my lips,
Clinging to my words with resentment,
Spinning your sticky web of built up annoyance,
At my absence,
At my "gtg",
My "text you later",
It's a bad habit.
But you know,
You're a worse driver,
Driving on this two way street,
Take a u-turn on Forgiveness,
And continue straight on Friendship,
For heavens sake,
Stop blaming me for the distance,
That you could easily gap,
By a quick call,
Or breezy "hi!"
Just let go,
I've cried my last tears for this *stuff,
If you want to drag this out,
Just know that I love you,
I'm sorry you misunderstood me,
And I forgive you,
Would you just forgive me already!