Lost Families~ A Dream Within A Dream (44)
Sometimes I miss you all,
It's almost as if I lost two families,
In losing the connection with just one,
And it's not fair that I had to give you up,
Because it didn't work out between him and I.
I wish it wouldn't be awkward,
To reach out and stay in contact with you,
But somehow it feels wrong,
And somehow it's just not right,
Because him and I are through,
And you all love him more than I do,
Why keep my friendship,
When we are no longer friends.
Being The One
For being the one with a tired mind,
I seem to be the only one able to think reasonably,
Despite the fact that I say things at 3am,
That I would never imagine saying at 3pm.
One conversation leads to another,
Don't know how we came to this point,
We always end up at the point,
Both of us apologizing,
Both of us torturing ourselves with the past,
Why can't we just let go?
Why can't I just let go?
Constant mental punishment for emotions felt.
For being the one with an exhausted heart,
I seem to be the only one being reasonable,
Because I implore that you forgive and forget,
Despite the fact I want to push you more.
I want to tell you how much you meant to me,
How long I longed for you senselessly,
How I spent hours studying your face,
How many depression full poems I wrote,
I want you to know how bad it hurt,
How I'm stupid in my way of holding on,
And I wish I could tell you that I'm not over you.
I know you,
You're already beating yourself up for not treating me "well",
Maybe as much as I beat myself up for falling so hard,
So here I am,
Still caring about you,
On one hand not wanting you to hurt,
On the other desiring passionately for revenge,
Wanting you to hurt so bad you can't stand,
But, I guess you already do.
No big deal,
You're apologizing again,
For something I just want,
Why won't you let me forget?
Where you used to sit,
Elbow to elbow,
And now I miss,
That one extra chair.
Punching me in the gut,
Every time I sit down.
I need a diversion,
From this drama,
This emptiness inside,
The whole in my chest,
That is so hard to hide.
I need someone's attention,
As I slink into my hole,
Trying to sleep away the day,
Residing in solitude,
Yet seeking someone's hand to hold.
Flirtih With Stranger's
My face glows,
With inflated ego,
Your flirtatious comments,
And attractive confidence,
Making me beam with pleasure,
For having a cute college kid,
Flirt openly with me,
While being spun around to the distant sound of music.
How is it,
That someone could change my mind,
About growing up?
Suddenly I want to be eighteen,
As you had wished,
"Please tell me your birthday's tomorrow."
A Dream Within A Dream
His lips were soft,
And despite everyone's reaction,
Loud and instant disgust,
At my night time visions,
I actually enjoyed the kiss,
Embarrassing how I wish it to be real.